I think out of the social networking events I have gone to so far this week, I have been mainly going where lots of people are expected to turn out. It usually ends up in those places with half the people showing up anyway for whatever reasons and it's hard to keep track of who is going. I have probably averaged with meeting only one attractive girl each event I've been to so far, so it's not like I have been missing out with introducing myself to pretty girls.
Talking to a few ladies, when I heard them talk about their significant other, I felt a little sad underneath but then I smiled and listened while thinking on the side that I could find myself a girlfriend too and during those days, I was fixating my thoughts a little to a single friend I'm attracted to and then I just became happy because I went to those events to meet people and see what's out there. What had me going to those crowded events in the first place was to go find me some attractive ladies to meet and I realized just hearing them talk about their dating or married life is making me feel sad a little because I envy them for having someone and think happy about it at the same time.
This feeling of sadness from envying others started with feeling like I was too short. I didn't care if I met guys around my height and even shorter ladies. I only felt awkward for awhile and it was just because I envied people who were taller from reading up so much on how girls in general can be physically attracted to taller men naturally. I wanted to have a nice success rate with dating too, so I tried and failed miserably from having this mindset and chasing after foolish-minded and shallow ladies. It's like I had to prove to myself that I could convince them otherwise, but I relent now and don't feel depressed about it anyway. It still crosses my mind every once in awhile, but I just want to laugh about it and take it in as a joke now and stay self-confident.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
