I realize that with my brain chemicals craving for some pleasure, it accounts for my private mischief. I do it so often behind closed doors and in the closet. I'm pretty much like that because I think there's a point to feel bad about it and not to let out to the whole world.
What I feel is that I think others are going to treat me like how I would treat them. The way I treat others is that I don't really pay attention to them that much. I also try to be condoning as much as possible too. Putting aside my angry considerations, I'm starting to focus more on making myself happy by going after solving those situations that just bug me.
I think it's just like lighting a candle or flipping on the switch. Sure, the world can become a place where I run out of breath and have to slow down, but I'm going on a journey and trying to improve myself better than I was before.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Have To Stay On Track
I'm starting to think that instead of writing and listing out my goals, I think the better practice would be to learn to think on my feet. I guess when it comes to managing appointments, if they get so much to handle then maybe I should buy an organizer to keep myself from getting lost keeping track of everything and to have a useful reference for an alibi in case I need it in a legal setting.
That being said I'm not really going to put down much on this blog with my personal, but I can very well say that I'm learning to manage it decently right now.
That being said I'm not really going to put down much on this blog with my personal, but I can very well say that I'm learning to manage it decently right now.
Day 246
I did a little searching on Google and noticed that today's day of the year is 246! That's pretty neat how someone already came up with that through generated software. I'm sure there's some formula as well to count the days, but I didn't feel like sitting there to figure that out. Anyhow, I'm still behind by about a month and a half to get up to date with all these blog posts.
I guess it's just a personal fun thing to do for myself. I still notice that I'm getting a very minimal amount of traffic on here. I guess it's really cool that one or two people find my writing interesting enough to look at wherever I'm at in my course of life. That's the only amount of verification I can track on this site, but the one that keeps track of visitors says that I'm getting more sometimes. It seems like there's a positive association with visitors in that the more interesting posts I make, the more readers I attract. I don't really get anybody to comment on my site, so I'm used to very quiet responses from others. These days I'm getting responses from people in person and I've actually learned to deal with it properly. I guess the only ones I'm probably not going to get too many responses from are the ones who are actually pretty weird!
I guess it's just a personal fun thing to do for myself. I still notice that I'm getting a very minimal amount of traffic on here. I guess it's really cool that one or two people find my writing interesting enough to look at wherever I'm at in my course of life. That's the only amount of verification I can track on this site, but the one that keeps track of visitors says that I'm getting more sometimes. It seems like there's a positive association with visitors in that the more interesting posts I make, the more readers I attract. I don't really get anybody to comment on my site, so I'm used to very quiet responses from others. These days I'm getting responses from people in person and I've actually learned to deal with it properly. I guess the only ones I'm probably not going to get too many responses from are the ones who are actually pretty weird!
Looks Nice to the Eyes
I think this blog might look beautiful with a bunch of just text and it's like so individualistic that you don't even have to read it. I guess in that respect it might seem a little weird that I'm getting a blog going just to post my thoughts and brag about how happy I am online!
One of my closest friends isn't that great of a reader. I'm not even that great of an avid reader either, but I don't know why I'm spending my days just writing on here online. I guess I'm just practicing with just being eloquent. Maybe, I'll be in a situation someday where I could genuinely care for people and try to solve a situation comfortably. I still have to work my way there though and maybe the issues I have right now just don't really matter right now.
One of my closest friends isn't that great of a reader. I'm not even that great of an avid reader either, but I don't know why I'm spending my days just writing on here online. I guess I'm just practicing with just being eloquent. Maybe, I'll be in a situation someday where I could genuinely care for people and try to solve a situation comfortably. I still have to work my way there though and maybe the issues I have right now just don't really matter right now.
Doing Everything Fast Paced
I realize that my personality likes to do things fast and have fun with it at the same. I'm having a pretty decent time with it these days. I guess I'm trying to stay on top of things without getting myself really hurt.
I don't really feel like writing much now, so I'm going to just leave it alone for now. This probably is the shortest two paragraphs that I am writing and leaving alone for the past couple months!
I don't really feel like writing much now, so I'm going to just leave it alone for now. This probably is the shortest two paragraphs that I am writing and leaving alone for the past couple months!
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Careful Not To Show Off
Since I actually have a legit girlfriend now, I'm going to work out and try to get some six pack abs and take better care of myself. I want to manage my lifestyle a whole lot better and sort of develop this awesome persona with energy that just goes all into being with my future wife. I posted something related to this on my Facebook page and then I was met with some skepticism by another female friend! Another female friend was happy for me, though.
I need to be careful what I post because I don't want to end up swallowing my own words. I really hate doing that. I don't like losing my cool either and then making annoying comments about people in front of their faces. It makes me feel bad for doing that. They are some weak scoundrels but it's no excuse for my smart brain that can handle the stress and figure out a solution to the problem. As long as there's people involved and I have interacted with them, I can manage to find a way to resolve the issue for my own happiness. For some reason, it's based off of people feeling good about themselves too. I just can't live like being a moron to others; it doesn't click very well for me.
I need to be careful what I post because I don't want to end up swallowing my own words. I really hate doing that. I don't like losing my cool either and then making annoying comments about people in front of their faces. It makes me feel bad for doing that. They are some weak scoundrels but it's no excuse for my smart brain that can handle the stress and figure out a solution to the problem. As long as there's people involved and I have interacted with them, I can manage to find a way to resolve the issue for my own happiness. For some reason, it's based off of people feeling good about themselves too. I just can't live like being a moron to others; it doesn't click very well for me.
Getting On With It
I have like about ten minutes to spare. I'm realizing that the sound of my piano really sucks. I need to get it tuned or upgrade it to a better sounding instrument. I'm suffering because my parents tell me that the music is horrible. I played my song I wrote on a better sounding and well-tuned piano by myself. A group of my buddies came into the sound room and beckoned me to keep playing. I just kept playing like it was no big deal and then one of them ended up recording me on his phone. He showed it to almost everybody and for the most part, the majority of them were impressed and came up to tell me about it.
I think a well-tuned instrument sound plays a large role to putting on a good concert. If it's all cranky and sounds horrific and out of tune, there's just no well to go professional with that. You might as well just go for being broke. I think I'm going to try to invest my time with finding a good keyboard, even if it's expensive so I could find some space to deal with it. Eventually though, I want to become a proud owner of a grand piano and have fun playing all the good classics that I just become excited over.
I think a well-tuned instrument sound plays a large role to putting on a good concert. If it's all cranky and sounds horrific and out of tune, there's just no well to go professional with that. You might as well just go for being broke. I think I'm going to try to invest my time with finding a good keyboard, even if it's expensive so I could find some space to deal with it. Eventually though, I want to become a proud owner of a grand piano and have fun playing all the good classics that I just become excited over.
Concentration Efforts
I did a little looking up to see if I had any ADD (attention deficit disorder). I remember a female friend of mine who is a little irritating and senseless telling me that I need to look up ADD. I wonder if she was commenting on how I might have that mental problem. Actually, now that I think of it; there's another crazy girl I was cool with in the beginning; she mentioned to me with having ADD. I never really thought that would turn into a factor, but I think because of it and how I went against her boyfriend, she's no longer interested in being friends with me.
I took the test and basically answered with "sometimes" as my answer of a few of them and otherwise, I put down "never". Like why would I lose focus if I'm having so much fun with my video games and making money? It doesn't make any sense at all. I sometimes lose focus when I'm dealing with boring stuff. I guess it's just disciplining myself as a requirement then to handle all of that stupid and boring stuff.
I took the test and basically answered with "sometimes" as my answer of a few of them and otherwise, I put down "never". Like why would I lose focus if I'm having so much fun with my video games and making money? It doesn't make any sense at all. I sometimes lose focus when I'm dealing with boring stuff. I guess it's just disciplining myself as a requirement then to handle all of that stupid and boring stuff.
Exercising Discipline
I'm actually focusing on the big picture right now which is setting myself up for doing what I want to do for making a living. What I'm currently doing is so much fun and exciting and I truly enjoy it. I don't mind the setbacks that come with it that much too.
I'm going to try to limit the stuff that interests me and try to specialize on things that I want to stay consistent with and to earn a decent living with. I guess I'm pretty good on this goal of making money for myself. I'm now trying to dish in on a more healthy lifestyle.
I'm going to try to limit the stuff that interests me and try to specialize on things that I want to stay consistent with and to earn a decent living with. I guess I'm pretty good on this goal of making money for myself. I'm now trying to dish in on a more healthy lifestyle.
Having Fun
So I downloaded this game called America's Army and it's pretty fun to play. It sort of gives a good idea on how to work as a team within a unit and do some tactics and strategies. I just go off and on and go for heroics in the game, which is a pretty bad idea to think of, but anyway it's still fun.
I sort of like how it gets me feeling in those simulated tight corners and an idea of how to approach it without knowing anything. I think it would be better for me to research on war tactics and then try to apply them later on. For now, I'm just trying to move alone with my career.
I sort of like how it gets me feeling in those simulated tight corners and an idea of how to approach it without knowing anything. I think it would be better for me to research on war tactics and then try to apply them later on. For now, I'm just trying to move alone with my career.
Monday, September 1, 2014
One More Before Breaking
Maybe, I'll be up on here at 1 am again. I don't know, but I doubt it. I might be enjoying my video games again even though I say I'm going to stop wasting my time with them. I'm a thirty-one year old still getting the fun buzz over playing games. Yeah, that's pretty old considering the audience I figure to be reading those posts.
I think being upfront like that is nice at my own personal expense because it gives a sense of non-hostile environment and something good to laugh about before reflecting on serious matters again, which people really have problems and issues over. I think my style is not meant to be really challenged aggressively or from a mean standpoint or else it will just make you feel weird to begin with.
That's probably why I'm not really stood up to that often. I actually think now that if I really put in the time and effort then I could have solved my problem with idiots back in the day. I can do it now, I suppose and I think I'll just keep my head up high with confidence.
I think being upfront like that is nice at my own personal expense because it gives a sense of non-hostile environment and something good to laugh about before reflecting on serious matters again, which people really have problems and issues over. I think my style is not meant to be really challenged aggressively or from a mean standpoint or else it will just make you feel weird to begin with.
That's probably why I'm not really stood up to that often. I actually think now that if I really put in the time and effort then I could have solved my problem with idiots back in the day. I can do it now, I suppose and I think I'll just keep my head up high with confidence.
Anything Now
I'm really taking a little bit of my time right now to write anything that's on my mind now. I'm pretty much locked in from having committed myself to put something on this blog. I think that's where the magic might happen for me. It's when I really decide to put forth a consistent effort then I'm able to experience the fruits of the labor and not really mind the hardships I went through in the past.
I have this initial start-up fear of doing stuff sometimes and get overwhelmed to try new things. I don't think I should really let them debilitate me. I think bravery for me is just being upfront about a lot of stuff. Not a lot of people try that hard, so standing out might be a pain because I don't want to work that hard too. I guess it comes down to knowing what you want and having pride over some things that actually count in life.
I have this initial start-up fear of doing stuff sometimes and get overwhelmed to try new things. I don't think I should really let them debilitate me. I think bravery for me is just being upfront about a lot of stuff. Not a lot of people try that hard, so standing out might be a pain because I don't want to work that hard too. I guess it comes down to knowing what you want and having pride over some things that actually count in life.
Doing Everything On My Own
Obviously, you can't hire someone to do the work outs for you so your body becomes ripped. Likewise, it seems to feel like that when it comes to investing. It's definitely better to know what you are doing and be the one to make the comfortable decisions and do what you want to be doing.
From doing my reading, there seems to be many reigning ideas and what works best for me is the lazy and clean method instead of trying to gun for profits on a daily basis with a Type A personality-like disorder. It becomes like another 8 to 5 job which isn't what I have in mind doing for the rest of my life, no matter how good the pay is. If it's fun, then maybe I'll consider but I don't the fun might turn old and stale for me after awhile. I want to be free to adventure and roam other places. This girl I hardly know on Facebook ended up using her savings to go travel and now she's back in college mode. She's pretty funny and I like to think that she's my type but frankly, she might not be that intelligent as I would have liked.
Anyhow, I post funny stuff on her posts that make me laugh a whole lot and then I have to focus on my job after while eliminating those distracting thoughts. It's pretty hard to do, but not unbearable for me. I'm still trying to maintain a long-standing composure while being very content in life which is something that I haven't been able to establish yet. I think my answer to those problems is to live through those struggles while depending on God for support.
From doing my reading, there seems to be many reigning ideas and what works best for me is the lazy and clean method instead of trying to gun for profits on a daily basis with a Type A personality-like disorder. It becomes like another 8 to 5 job which isn't what I have in mind doing for the rest of my life, no matter how good the pay is. If it's fun, then maybe I'll consider but I don't the fun might turn old and stale for me after awhile. I want to be free to adventure and roam other places. This girl I hardly know on Facebook ended up using her savings to go travel and now she's back in college mode. She's pretty funny and I like to think that she's my type but frankly, she might not be that intelligent as I would have liked.
Anyhow, I post funny stuff on her posts that make me laugh a whole lot and then I have to focus on my job after while eliminating those distracting thoughts. It's pretty hard to do, but not unbearable for me. I'm still trying to maintain a long-standing composure while being very content in life which is something that I haven't been able to establish yet. I think my answer to those problems is to live through those struggles while depending on God for support.
Happy Labor's Day
I guess I have the sense like the rest of the people on the planet who live in America and work with a pretty, decent working brain to know today is Labor's Day. I don't feel anything special over it right now. What I do want to do, however, is work out and exercise discipline now.
For disciplining myself, I'm going to try to avoid some things. I really do want to earn a lot of money comfortably and that's where I'm currently working at. I also want to have a sexy body, despite being short and having some pimple scars! I've been told that I'm pretty good looking with glasses, so yeah, I think some people just get carried away with their agenda that they don't care about another person's looks for the time being.
For disciplining myself, I'm going to try to avoid some things. I really do want to earn a lot of money comfortably and that's where I'm currently working at. I also want to have a sexy body, despite being short and having some pimple scars! I've been told that I'm pretty good looking with glasses, so yeah, I think some people just get carried away with their agenda that they don't care about another person's looks for the time being.
Sirens Don't Bother Me Now
I think I managed to get it emotionally under control now in that I don't have to feel paranoid when I hear the paramedics approach my house. It was like this daunting reminder that I had to be scared for my life because the law was out to get me for my secret acts inside my own closet.
Hey, I think there's some privacy laws intact too, so I guess I don't want to even be in the negative spotlight and that could very well be the reason why I feel so paranoid about getting caught. I never really did think it was cool to do drugs, so I never did them illegally. I don't see the point of relying on a dead plant to give you a high after lighting it up.
Where I get my high is from looking at things visually and after being tempted, I have this strong Christian belief of waiting to be married, so yeah, I never hit any home runs despite being given those offerings about five times now in my entire life. Maybe, they weren't hot enough for me; I don't know, I seem to find flaws even in the most beautiful person on the Earth, like ummmm, Cindy Crawford. She's a pretty old mom, despite having flawless looking skin.
Hey, I think there's some privacy laws intact too, so I guess I don't want to even be in the negative spotlight and that could very well be the reason why I feel so paranoid about getting caught. I never really did think it was cool to do drugs, so I never did them illegally. I don't see the point of relying on a dead plant to give you a high after lighting it up.
Where I get my high is from looking at things visually and after being tempted, I have this strong Christian belief of waiting to be married, so yeah, I never hit any home runs despite being given those offerings about five times now in my entire life. Maybe, they weren't hot enough for me; I don't know, I seem to find flaws even in the most beautiful person on the Earth, like ummmm, Cindy Crawford. She's a pretty old mom, despite having flawless looking skin.
Interesting Time To Post
I'm posting like at 1:30 in the morning. Well, it's Labor's Day so I guess it's okay to be up this late doing nothing! I'm finding that people don't really appreciate jokes that much as they do with people who are just associated with success or beauty. I guess those are the qualities that attract people more than just being funny and interestingly different.
I was told by a buddy of mine that I don't really follow the pack too often and it's true, I don't. Seriously, now I'm taking the approach of solving the problem and not anything else. Oh yeah, I need to wash my car. Man, I'm getting so ignorant because my mind is feeling so stoic now. It's like I don't really have that much emotional attachment to things anymore that I could really do something boring for the rest of my life, like working at a company that makes me the big bucks!
I still get a emotional buzz from communicating with my girlfriend right now. Yeah, I think I can say for reals that I do have a girlfriend or another significant other. We're dealing with a distant relationship right now but we do communicate via writing. Go figure, a man who used to have some anger issues, told me that my writing sucks and it's going to get me nowhere in life and that I should stop it. I think he was approaching it from the wrong angle. He was just mad because he wasn't able to control me and he felt that he was so right. Without the need of tackling him to the floor and screaming at his face and then apologizing and then repeating the process over again repetitively, I think the solution is to really reveal where he's being faulty and laugh about it underneath while showing some genuine sympathy of how he's going through a hard time and just be upfront about things.
I was told by a buddy of mine that I don't really follow the pack too often and it's true, I don't. Seriously, now I'm taking the approach of solving the problem and not anything else. Oh yeah, I need to wash my car. Man, I'm getting so ignorant because my mind is feeling so stoic now. It's like I don't really have that much emotional attachment to things anymore that I could really do something boring for the rest of my life, like working at a company that makes me the big bucks!
I still get a emotional buzz from communicating with my girlfriend right now. Yeah, I think I can say for reals that I do have a girlfriend or another significant other. We're dealing with a distant relationship right now but we do communicate via writing. Go figure, a man who used to have some anger issues, told me that my writing sucks and it's going to get me nowhere in life and that I should stop it. I think he was approaching it from the wrong angle. He was just mad because he wasn't able to control me and he felt that he was so right. Without the need of tackling him to the floor and screaming at his face and then apologizing and then repeating the process over again repetitively, I think the solution is to really reveal where he's being faulty and laugh about it underneath while showing some genuine sympathy of how he's going through a hard time and just be upfront about things.
With This Whole Posting
Last year I think it was, I ended up posting around 100 of these in a two month span and probably averaged 20 in one day! I don't really want to repeat that again, so I am definitely going to try to do the five a day approach. Like having five fruits and vegetables a day and getting at least 5 minutes of sleep a day in for the rest of my own entire existence! That's easy said and done for me- I still remember this one female friend whose now engaged to a pretty chubby guy commenting on how she feels weird from having insomnia.
She is ultra skinny by the way so I guess there's a saying that opposites might attract. Hey, I went out on a few unofficial dates with her over a few months so she thought it would be a good thing to go after me in a relationship. I was so clueless to how attractive she really is- she's just not really my type I guess. She just doesn't have that one giving attitude where I look for the most, and I'm sure other guys might be able to relate to it.
She is ultra skinny by the way so I guess there's a saying that opposites might attract. Hey, I went out on a few unofficial dates with her over a few months so she thought it would be a good thing to go after me in a relationship. I was so clueless to how attractive she really is- she's just not really my type I guess. She just doesn't have that one giving attitude where I look for the most, and I'm sure other guys might be able to relate to it.
Catching Up
I'm going to try to post like five a day now. I'm just going to randomly post anything that's on my mind to try to catch up. I remember for the past couple years, I've been putting it off the last minute and I don't find that to be very comfortable for me now. I guess I felt like I had to prove something by doing other meaningless stuff before putting my time into getting the important parts done. Man, I was stupid!
Some days, it's really nice to post photos on this site and write stuff pertaining to the visual while trying to make good, clean jokes at the same time. I am definitely a real person blogging on this site with a personality that sort of likes to be a goody-two-shoe and out of trouble. I am a dude who prefers not to spat out curse words and think negatively towards others, no matter what jam I'm going through.
The trick has to have a positive association of being realistic and imagining resolving solutions. The focus is really not on how bad the person is because that's just a waste of time and puts you in a more, angrier predicament. It's really about fixing the problem while focusing on it with the imagination and having a strong spirit over it. It's like living through adversity and making proper adjustments.
Some days, it's really nice to post photos on this site and write stuff pertaining to the visual while trying to make good, clean jokes at the same time. I am definitely a real person blogging on this site with a personality that sort of likes to be a goody-two-shoe and out of trouble. I am a dude who prefers not to spat out curse words and think negatively towards others, no matter what jam I'm going through.
The trick has to have a positive association of being realistic and imagining resolving solutions. The focus is really not on how bad the person is because that's just a waste of time and puts you in a more, angrier predicament. It's really about fixing the problem while focusing on it with the imagination and having a strong spirit over it. It's like living through adversity and making proper adjustments.
I Want To Get A Six Pac
Nowadays, I figure that if I'm going to end up with a killer body, there's two ways to go about it: get surgery or do it the traditional hard way through proper nutrition and diet, exercise, and rest. I wouldn't feel right about getting surgery because I might still be carrying some unhealthy habits afterwards. The traditional way seems to be the best because of the discipline that it requires and how that could carry over with other intense activities.
I'm starting to think that maybe there is a way around a lot of my issues. One of my reasons for wanting to get a 6-PAC on my abs, not a six-pack of beer, is that it looks like I finally have a legitimate girlfriend! She's about four inches taller than me- so I'm going to try to stretch out my bones a little more and see if I could tone that down to just two inches.
Hey, if a short guy like me could do it then not everybody can do it because I sort of have an intelligent mind. I think intelligence mixed with a little bit of charismatic strength while any size will do the trick. There was this one actor who stood only three feet tall and he's married to a beautiful woman! Man, that's really standing up to the plate and getting it done.
Okay, so height doesn't matter and it feels that way only if I'm in a happy mood. I have some buddies making fun of my height which is hilarious. It's all good, and I don't really care now. I think some people still have like a short height phobia or just feel weird about being in a relationship with one because it's just plain different and others might give off this influence of how you have to follow the pack. For some reason, tallness does have this innate sense of attractiveness and emotional sense of security. What it really comes down to in the long run is really the quality of the person's heart, not their sensual body parts!
I'm starting to think that maybe there is a way around a lot of my issues. One of my reasons for wanting to get a 6-PAC on my abs, not a six-pack of beer, is that it looks like I finally have a legitimate girlfriend! She's about four inches taller than me- so I'm going to try to stretch out my bones a little more and see if I could tone that down to just two inches.
Hey, if a short guy like me could do it then not everybody can do it because I sort of have an intelligent mind. I think intelligence mixed with a little bit of charismatic strength while any size will do the trick. There was this one actor who stood only three feet tall and he's married to a beautiful woman! Man, that's really standing up to the plate and getting it done.
Okay, so height doesn't matter and it feels that way only if I'm in a happy mood. I have some buddies making fun of my height which is hilarious. It's all good, and I don't really care now. I think some people still have like a short height phobia or just feel weird about being in a relationship with one because it's just plain different and others might give off this influence of how you have to follow the pack. For some reason, tallness does have this innate sense of attractiveness and emotional sense of security. What it really comes down to in the long run is really the quality of the person's heart, not their sensual body parts!
Behind Schedule
It looks like I'm spending so much way less time on this blog now. I guess I'm a lot better equipped at being an upfront person. Actually, it doesn't really matter how I go about it, as long as I'm a happy and positive person, I can manage almost anything with people. I'm going to try to keep that upbeat heart wherever I go in life now.
Basically, I used to think how some people were just making me angry from having a bad personality. Now, I don't even think that way about them. The way I see it is that it's really about managing my own personal feelings and then resolving the problem by looking at taking care of it.
Basically, I used to think how some people were just making me angry from having a bad personality. Now, I don't even think that way about them. The way I see it is that it's really about managing my own personal feelings and then resolving the problem by looking at taking care of it.
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