I think it's better to be a loving and hardworking person while accepting anything that's bad. Maybe you don't really have to think about it or just see the bigger picture which is pretty hard to do. My mental health has been doing a whole lot better as of late, and I've done this without seeing any therapist.
I guess I have been working really hard on myself and trying to push myself to always do the right thing while staying focused and being nice to whoever happens to be part of my life. Currently, with a friend I regularly hang out with I do have thoughts of wanting to womanize with her often. It's just that these feelings are shallow and consistently get shot down on my own. When I look at my feelings for her from a deeper level, I only see her as a friend and how she still isn't good enough for me to want to date! According to her, we're very close friends and she's fond of my personality so I do have the most important quality she looks for in a person. She thinks of me as family and calls me buddy currently or jokes around by even calling me her dad since we're about seven years apart in age. I do demonstrate a pretty intelligent stature in the EQ category. It only keeps on getting better from growing more as a person via spending time with her. She's been an important catch for me!
I am getting old now and still haven't found a girl to marry yet. I'm going to be 39 this year. This is quite an issue because now I just don't seem to really care about the women I meet while dropping my standards a bit. I might actually detract unattractive women naturally from being myself the whole time and plus I am short. I don't think being short really matters either in the long run in personal relationships because it's all about being yourself and how you are able to connect with others. I don't really mind being opinionated and always true to myself even if it causes any fallout with people. It's truly their loss and I'm going to still be happy.
I want to be more of my true self, so I can find the right woman to maybe properly have romantic chemistry with someday. I'm also accepting that the women who feel physically attractive to me might be already taken, so it makes sense that I've already been pursued after by few available women. It's crazy that the subtle details never crossed my mind, but now my mind is working from being secure with my outer shell! It's too bad that I might have influenced a soulmate to think bad about her own short stature and thus, become openly scornful about dating short guys! It really angered me and triggered me to text her an insulting remark that she has some trouble getting over. We aren't spending time with each other at the moment, but I think I will pursue her friendship again when things settle down and I've found myself a good girl.
It doesn't matter for some reason when dealing with any form of insecurity by always trying your best. In a sense, I don't think I'm a bad human product in itself. It's more like most people in the world won't ever have enough time to figure me out. Through gaining more experience and knowledge about people's ways, I can finally see myself getting married to the person I want to be with.
