Friday, October 6, 2017


Diligence is pretty much putting in a painstaking effort to get something done. For example, it's like playing a video game and staying persistent with it while it gets boring to pass the whole game. I've done that with a few games in the past and only to feel excited after passing it right after, so it's like hidden and something you might never know. This is probably what got me addicted to games in the first place.

After awhile of being a game addict, I felt very sheepish to be continuously trying to play it over and over again. It was feeling like an empty life for me and not really satisfying me so much anymore. I was also feeling guilty over not prioritizing with other stuff that was out there and wanted to have more fun besides just feeling empty and all by myself. I wasn't feeling good at all sometimes and actually feeling restless with a lot of negative energy and fatigued while getting headaches with frustrations when I was going after doing other boring chores.

It just took a dedicated effort to become more self-aware of myself and despite it being so hard from having no direction, I just continued to try. While feeling so hard on myself, which was probably one of the biggest issues I had growing up, life was pretty hard to deal with. Even though I had nothing much going for me, I wasn't able to look at the big picture and just feeling like a mess totally inside while not trying to show it to anybody.

It was more than just finding a cure for my mental depression. It was about looking for answers and finding constant joy and happiness.