Thursday, October 5, 2017

So Very Difficult

Time management is turning out to be very hard to do. I'm like aware and my mind feeds me weak signals but I'm unable to do what I want to set myself out to do. They are only excuses because when I'm in the moment while at home, I just want to chill and not really work hard especially after driving home through traffic and eating a meal cooked by my mom.

It's not a bad thing and I want to blame the traffic and my mom's cooking for not being able to do anything, but they are only bad excuses for my lack of time management and overloading myself with desires that I can't seem to keep up with. This is pretty much my problem right now. In the past, probably from being withdrawn with my mental depression, I just played video games and kept life simple while feeling lonely and wanting something more out of life. When I took the hard step to drop playing video games that used to stimulate my brain and entertain or anger me from competing against other players, my life slowly started taking a different direction.

I haven't really regressed into playing a popular video game. I just can't seem to find the time to have fun with it. I'm becoming more practical but yet I'm just opting to sit there and watch TV or read up on useless entertaining material. Yeah, it's fun to read up on Top 10s on any topic that grabs my attention like sex or iconic movie scenes. I guess that's how those sites make money and stick around in their Internet business. I'm better off moving along then maybe and have to just keep on trying.