Ending The Year With A Bang

I would like to thank everyone who visited this site in spirit and wherever you are, God speed!!! I know I've written some sensitive material that might have been offensive in nature, and it's been brought to my own personal understanding. Yet, I just want to move on now and learn from my personal experiences and continue to grow in a really positive manner.

I am pleasantly delighted that the views on this site after seven years have on average doubled in months. I take delight on tracking down some of my posts you all read and reviewing them for purposes of keeping a piqued interest and to reexamine what was going on my head at that time. In a way, this isn't the best thing I have going for myself right now. Yet, it's been faring in a really enjoyable way for me.

One of the things I pledge to work on is not letting my distracting and stressful emotions get the best of me. A lot of it really deals with becoming irritated and feeling very mad about some events that took place for me. I don't want to act like an adolescent anymore with raging hormones; it's getting too old for me but instead I want to live a great and healthy life now. One of the biggest things I have to reveal is that I have become more intrepid about my bluntness, but I'm doing it with some fun style this time that makes me laugh hard inwardly. I'm obviously not in direct and physical contact with anyone when I'm writing, so I'm trying to put some original material down that makes me laugh outwardly, while no one is around. It's just one of my own reserved ways of having a good time. I've noticed that one of my dates in person really laughed at a lot of my comments while I really wasn't; I know they were funny, but I didn't act like it was at the time. I guess it's some food for thought in how I'm doing pretty decently with having platonic relations with a lot of females.

I like receiving some warm and deep hugs from beautiful women, which feels pretty good but I think the only person I would be able to get it consistently from is if I had a lovely girlfriend, so that could be a motivating drive for me to go get one. It was pretty crazy because I was seeing this one girl who was in a long term relationship already at this boring, vocational school for lunch. Okay, it felt weird but yeah, she was leaning her heart towards me, and I was attracted too but I just didn't feel right about her having a boyfriend already. Withholding myself from her felt like a mistake until it was finally revealed to me who my actual type of woman to marry is.

Simple Plans

Basically, that one church which screwed me over with nice people becoming annoying with me all of a sudden, yeah, I'm not going to be trying to still attend that church anymore. There's no benefit for me to fight so hard for that position; it won't even help me out that much in the long run anyway. I'm just going to let them go now. If they want a piece of me still, then I'll be available for them, but I totally doubt it because they are really fed up with me! I even learned that it's really all about communicating right since it mainly dealt with distressed and irrational people, but I understand this portion now.

That being said, I'm planning on engaging in some personal Bible studies; not so intense, but just enough to keep up with my intrigue in the Scriptures. I'm planning on doing it daily and then even trying out this whole prayer thing for the people in this world out of desiring to know real and fulfilling love.

Boy, I'm going to go really crazy with investing and still try to complete my temporary projects of trying to learn a language and gain some skills as a physician's assistant and a computer network expert. I still have other backups that I could get into also, so it seems like everything is set in place with pursuing after a pretty enriching and healthy life. I'm working out too on a daily basis and looking to get a six-pack someday! It's just being consistent and keeping up with it, no matter how badly the day just got to you. Maybe, one of these days, it will be just right for me to take on a wife of my dreams.  

Bread And Better

I think my side adventures of investing my money has put into some form of exciting career of trying to make money. Even if I don't milk a market for a lot of dough, I'm still pretty excited about sticking around. I think this means that I'm starting to really enjoy the pursuit of becoming a trader. I just asked a bunch of friends if they were interested in trading with me and that I would help them, but none of them want to lose money, even if the opportunity presents itself to make a lot of money!

I guess I'm the rare breed, the one in 10,000 people who endeavor to become a successful trader. My current bread and butter of earning a living is basically working a 2:15-10:45 job; not the typical 9 to 5 job but still it pays some dividends for me. Anyway, I'm looking to have a decent skill at an occupation so that I could keep earning some income, while I look into this whole investing opportunity. I think it's actually a lot of fun for me. Overall, it's really about balancing out how I play with my money. I'm not going to overspend on things anymore and basically handle a level I can deal with if I end up losing it.

Adjusting Trade Routine

I've been relatively still experimenting with tools that I think would work. This is still a work in progress, but it feels like I'm even more warmer. I believe these tools that I have right before me have a greater chance of making profit. I'm now including the news as part of my input before conducting some potentially rewarding trades.

I've wanted to stick with the 4H charts all this time and will still admire them, but now I'm drawn to just earning a quick 1:2 risk-reward trade with a smaller stoploss, so I've switched over to the 30M charts now. I'm also running a 1H charts too just to get a feel for how the market is currently doing. Along with having some good information from the news and having a bunch of common numbers other informed traders know about, I think I'm starting to get a decent feel for this market.

I believe I could also expand this Forex trading into also Binary Options, which is something new for me to explore. Despite the lower payouts, I'm actually excited about the opportunities the platform has to offer.

Interesting Question

This is the question that popped out of my head while I woke up after dreaming. I didn't even notice that I fell asleep on the couch because I thought I was tucked away nice and warm on my own bed. I guess it happens because I surely didn't remember prior to falling asleep. It's turning into a pretty bad habit, and I want to get used to at least using the bedroom and at least brushing my teeth before I fall asleep.

Anyway, getting back to my question. I was asking myself all morning and still a little curious to this pretty normal inquiry. Basically, how do you end up in a strong, loving, and exciting marriage with the beautiful person who is actually your type? I think it is one of the most important questions that get overlooked so easily. First off, is there really such a thing as someone being your type actually being interested with you also? Secondly, is it even possible that a dummy and a not so good-looking guy like myself could actually get the girl of my dreams?

I don't seriously know, and even if I draw some laughter from an unbelieving crowd, it's just something I'm curious about finding the answer to. Well, for starters, I think there are some personal standards that I should meet or exceed. I'm also basing off of what I feel my type would be really into; I think she wants a pretty level-headed, sensitive, and good man to be by her side.

24-7 New Years Resolutions

I'm going to start adding in a little visual on my posts now, because it seems to make it a little more easier on the eyes and probably a little more sentimental in reading these posts for others. I've already created my permanent goals that I want to keep going with in my life. There is however something I really want to try to maintain again from now on and for the rest of the life. I really want to maintain my own personal health and keep up with it; like brushing my teeth on a daily basis twice and flossing. I really need to do this.

Also, I really need to make an appointment with a dentist now and go for a routine clean on my teeth. I'm really being bad at going to the dentist. Since I have also had some Lasik done on my eyes, I feel pretty confident about not needing glasses for awhile so I'm not going to bother in seeing an optometrist nor even waste their time. It does feel a little weird not having glasses because I did look pretty good with glasses. I think the reason why I didn't get that much attention from girls is probably because maybe they don't really care that much about how I look, and the ones who did say I was handsome were the girls I treated fairly well with a good amount of respect.

Overall, I think there just needs to be balance in how you treat a girl. Some deserve it a little better than others and some are just worth leaving alone to let them keep to themselves while moving on. I'm now exploring the capacities of fully moving on while holding no grudges with anyone now. When I do see them in person now, I'm going to do the best I can to just communicate at a basic level while saying funny stuff that's going to make me laugh so hard, so I won't feel bad about them reacting very negatively with me and so I can understand about having to move on at that moment in my life. Yeah, I'll just let them come to me now; instead of me going to them.

Reaching Christmas Time

I'm really excited about this year's Christmas because I'm expecting it like never before. I've usually waited until the last minute to buy presents for everyone. I'm not really the type to receive gifts from everyone either. It sort of bites to think in a selfish manner like that. I think with me never having received gifts from anyone makes me think that I haven't really been that much open of a person. By being constantly stressed out, I'm leaving myself out of others' circles. Likewise, I think it's the same for others too.

Maybe I give off the feeling that I'm not very much into gifts and not very big on being a party animal. The majority in the world is pretty selfish, but to have a gathering place where the selfish ones could be motivated into giving and the ones who are looking to give could just freely give without feeling sheepish, is quite a wonder. Working through my own ambitions and emotional problems, I'm starting to just accept them as my own personal frailty and to also look into relating to others who might be in a similar jam as I am.

A lot of it is really just about being a natural freak of nature and forcing upon basic communication with the people you want to do it to. It's also hard work and sticking closely to what you believe in so much and at the same time having fun with it to the maximum level with contentment, just in case the person does something unexpectedly negative and feels she has a reason for it.

Benefits of Blogging Personal Efforts

Sometimes when the morning is just feeling uneasy from something I'm having trouble settling in my head, by just taking a little moment out of the day to just let it all out by typing stuff onto this blog, it's really making me happy again! I'm really starting to more or less think a little bit more smarter, despite my feelings being out of whack at the moment. I seem to be better at managing my feelings of people annoying me because I have never taken the initiative to block anyone from communicating with me and even though I felt uncomfortable, I managed to become cool with it eventually.

I think the way to handle people being crazy with you and just doing depressing stuff to you is to just reveal the right things to them by talking in a timely and skillful manner. It's basically establishing control and making them look bad in a moral sense and also showing you how bad they really are being at an emotional level so you can keep out of their way when you sense they will go berserk with you. It's best to keep it fresh and original and make it very effective from the start, instead of letting it linger. If it didn't work out from just having been a little lazy or something, I wouldn't stress it so much either and just try to be original again and then hammer the baby home!

Becoming Humble At Taking Risks

By learning all that I can, I believe that I might not be able to handle so well with the idea of becoming a winning poker player. Getting into the world of professional gambling may be fun, but it's just too risky for me and also is something I just can't factor into my lifestyle anymore.

I'm starting to gain this high interest of investing to earn a high amount of potential profit. It's only little by little for me, and it's going to take a lot more time but I have faith that it's eventually going to come together. No longer am I about investing in learning products; I want to go out and gather the free material that is out there and put together a system that is well suited for me. I'm ready to take the scary journey of doing it mainly on my own, and I'll take the free advice that professionals are willing to offer me in exchange for a transaction we could both be happy in settling with.

My mom told me that a true business man never spends and just keeps on spending because it won't generate profit. In order to have a business, there needs to be some form of income which will make profit. This is what a business is all about; it's about making profit and no matter how much bad feelings I have from thinking negatively about it and how life should be about finding fulfillment and joy with some working routine, it's pretty much the cut and dry approach.

Starting To Change For Maturing

I think when I have wrote stuff with people that has ended up making me laugh so hard, it has created some positive intended effects for myself. I think I'm meant to be someone who dwells on original jokes and shares them with others who don't like me at the moment. It's probably one of my strong suits when it comes to basic communication.

I don't need to waste my time over matters that doesn't interest me; neither do I need to go after being on people's cases. There is this feeling of an endless supply of people's interests and issues- to try to analyze every one of them, it's going to create a mental overload! I might as well just go after what makes sense to me at the moment and develop in certain key areas when the timing is right.

I was such an emotional wreck, but now I'm starting to gain a whole ton of stability and it's only getting better for me. Yet, it's time for me to avoid the potential bad things that could happen for me and go after balancing my emotional drives with the people I'm fully interested in.

Vacation, So Much Fun!

What's really awesome for me is that I don't have to work for the next couple weeks. I'm going to really enjoy this vacation, along with the bonuses I received from work. For the first time, I actually have a decent amount for a salary. I didn't expect myself to reach this level, but it's a great confidence booster. For my income, I reached only 40 K compared to my 25 K that never could top itself out. I was recommended a job by a friend who ended up putting a restraining order on me and then quitting his job because of it and not wanting to be around me. Yeah, he was just really stressed out and not thinking straight; he's still a little like that and is never going to change. Oh well, I can shake off my feelings of being really angry at him.

It's funny though and seems like a story you would only find in the movies. I think I have enough of those incidences for others to be sort of interested at poking their noses with me. I really should just start thinking about the worst, possible outcomes and if it's something I can't really handle or is going to look bad on me then might as well just avoid it and move on.

Being Under Emotional Discomfort

When life feels so unfair about anything, big or small, there are things that could happen and create this personal feeling of being tormented. It's very difficult to manage, and it's not a wonderful aspect to live with. Yet, no matter how much I do things right, it's only going to keep on adding itself on a daily basis to having to reach a high level and to stay there.

When it becomes all empty inside and allowing society to define who we are supposed to be, life just feels so meaningless at times. My life isn't really supposed to be about keeping myself occupied with funny T.V. shows or playing super fun and crazy-addictive video games. It isn't really about wasting time like a drug and then hoping for the day to never end.

I really think it's all about perseverance and thinking about the right level. If others can't reach this level while reaching out to them, I believe it's appropriate to let them go now and to just move on. If time permits by a chance meeting, then I think that's the appropriate time to conduct personal business and to attempt things to settle then.

Feeling Down But Staying Positive

For me, I feel really hurt inside when a person doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I'm not used to the feeling of someone trying to push me far away as possible and doing whatever they can to get it their way. I just don't want to be a bad person to them, so when I try to make things better and things just keep getting worse, I might as well just let it go then if I run out of time in being with them. When I am with them, I should do the best I can to solve it, but when I am not with them, I should make the effort as much as possible to not go chasing after them.

The feelings I get of being hurt from being so let down and rejected over nothing serious should pretty much be something I should feel and then be able to use to relate to others who are also feeling sad. With it, I should manage myself by being actually positive and working at something to be successful at. I don't need to cover my shame and frustrations over taking it out on video games, neither do I need to keep my head low, I should keep it high and aim for the wonderful things in life. After all, I know who my type of girl is now that I want to marry.

Like A Spiritual Sodom And Gomorrah

Sodom and Gomorrah are two ancient cities based on the Bible where they both ended up becoming in ruins. The main characters of this Bible story were pretty much running away from the cities, while it was getting blown up into bits. The sad thing that happened was that the wife of the main dude Lot (interesting name) looked back at the city and then turned into a pillar of salt. Seems pretty messed up, along with adding to a crazy tale about his daughters.

Anyway, I'm not interested in what those cities represent to typical Bible students. I'm just looking at it from how what it reminds me of my situation. Basically, something very bad was going on in those two cities that made God judge that they had to be destroyed. In a way, I feel that the church that screwed me over has something bad going on there and despite there being a couple good people there, it isn't really going to thrive that well. I'm just going to go for a figurative run and just go far away from that church now without turning my head back now. I'm calling for a separating of ways- a separate peace, in other words.

I'm just going to abandon every thought I had going with that church now and just go do my thing. I want to see things the way God intended it to be, and it's not happening for me so far. Oh well, might as well just keep on trying to read the Bible.

Getting Ready For A New Year

I'm pretty much planning some fun stuff over the next year. At least a good thing is that I finally figured out who my type of girl really is and yeah, she's still on my Facebook. It feels like she could be the last female standing for me, if I end up losing all my other female friends. Well, I'm never going to lose my adopted sister on there anyway. I also have a few more great female friends I'll never lose either.

Well, it can't be really that bad. I'm just getting mentally beat up by people who suck at managing their own personal feelings and get so cranky about it with me when I end up bugging them about stuff they put me through. It's something I'm just going to have to accept this sad area of defeat in and just move on with eventually. I don't want to be the bad guy anymore and then crash and burn later my other great relationships I've had over the years. I need to figure out this balance eventually because I'm really selfish in this area of wanting to get along with everyone.

Unexpected Year

Something I recall as a kid was having dealt with some mean-spirited female classmates. I think a large reason is that it just made me feel so much in despair and that pretty much entailed how I was down and out. In the process though, the girl ended up acting somewhat nice with me again after awhile. I used to be so sensitive about these little emotional things; I've truly lost a whole sight of it from trying to grind out something I can't let go of.

I think I should just accept how unfair the situation is for me and let me feel the sadness and grief that results over it. I mean I should let myself mourn over whatever it is and just do the best I can to push forward and move on. At the same time, I should be focusing on the positive and good things that I've come to realize and how I should be so diligent at going after things that are so greatly admired.

Honestly, it's really all about timing. Even if I didn't get the desired result, I'm going to have to take in the sad feelings and work at staying positive still and just move on the right and happy way. I'll just tell myself, maybe next time, it will be different.

Basic Communication

Now, I'm getting these thoughts of "This girl's crazy" and that. Boy, that was a weird interaction I had with this single mom; she sort of likes me in a hateful way. Therefore, she is not my type. What happened was that I was explaining to her why I'm bugging her and others and that if she wants me to stop, then they should try to get along with me in a friendly manner. She ended up whining about how I was being annoying to her and that she would block my messages. I told her that she had done so repeatedly; she ended up denying it and then stated she blocked me and wished me happy salutations of my journey in seeking her out.

Honestly, I think that girl was just messing with me without even knowing it. I think she was also feeling sick of me trying to reason with her at the same time and ended up sending me a sadistic and playful message. I'm just laughing because the comments I wrote make me laugh so much, and I truly understand her reaction even though I'm disappointed with her. I think it's been done and said with plenty of fair time to interact with one another and even though I feel drawn in to her, I don't feel right about it. I'm just going to move on and let her live her life.

The Bad Person I Could Have Been

I think the good thing about not giving into my evil and selfish desires of humiliating another person and annoying the heck out of him by just constantly yelling at him all the time is that my relationships with people I get along really well with have only become more stronger. The flip side of it is that the ones who I'm doing bad with have only become even more worse; it's like walking away from a drawn line and never looking back and just continuously going further away.

Despite my downfall with a bunch of sore losers and idiots who can't manage their own feelings and blame others for their own mess they put themselves into, I have very good welfare for myself. It looks like more and more though as time flies, I don't need to worry about these losers biting my rear behind later on in life. I was in so much panic mode because I was trying to be nice and like pulling the wrong strings on every end of a corner. Instead of getting chewed up in the grinder, I ended up escaping and it looks like there's a good sign of hope for me.

Now, I realize I'm communicating my thoughts of why I'm bugging these people at a personal level with them. At least, it's what I would call basic communication because I'm laying out my demands and capitalizing on what would bother these people.

Analyzing Spending Of Time

I think a major part of spending time really comes with the thoughts we center our minds on. For a pretty annoying amount of time, I was thinking about how to solve a relationship issue with some people I hardly know and were fed up with me. I kept on trying but it seems like things were getting worse because my mentality on the topic wasn't so penchant about it.

I then came up with the strategy of asking those people to go separate ways with me, and I think that's where it made me start thinking more positive. It's something relatively new to me, and it's actually worked out quite well for me in the standing of others. Basically, the ones who are more or less prone to becoming anxious about something or have to acquaint themselves with such people are not really around the people I associate with! Oh well, if they ended up deciding to delete me as a Facebook friend and block my calls and messages, then I guess I have no problems asking to go separate paths with them. In a way, for myself, it's just practicing in how to break up with a girl, so I don't see any problems with those people and I'll take it as it goes in life now.

Big Three Activities

I'm reminding myself of a simple routine to do for myself to reach my own personal goals, right before I go work in the afternoon at a business. Right after completing those three tasks for myself, I would then have time to go after more worthwhile long-term goals in mind and be able to run personal errands. I think this is a great and simple way to balance out on being a task-oriented or goal-oriented person.

The power of three makes it not to complicated and not to banal to think about completing. I mean, what if it could be done in any order; just pick your preference each morning. I think some people could possibly even do a list of top 10 activities they can't live without and maybe, drinking coffee would be one of them!

Mine is a pretty simple list and crazy at the same time. I have only three main things I must do, while keeping in check that it's always subject to change. The three things are for me right now: working out on a daily basis, learning a language, and doing some trading. I actually have a fourth one I'm trying to add in currently and that's just listening to a little bit of the New King James Bible each morning, which has been recorded by Hollywood actors and is a pretty refreshing sound that could be used like a bedtime story for me, if I wanted it to be.