I'm really excited about this year's Christmas because I'm expecting it like never before. I've usually waited until the last minute to buy presents for everyone. I'm not really the type to receive gifts from everyone either. It sort of bites to think in a selfish manner like that. I think with me never having received gifts from anyone makes me think that I haven't really been that much open of a person. By being constantly stressed out, I'm leaving myself out of others' circles. Likewise, I think it's the same for others too.
Maybe I give off the feeling that I'm not very much into gifts and not very big on being a party animal. The majority in the world is pretty selfish, but to have a gathering place where the selfish ones could be motivated into giving and the ones who are looking to give could just freely give without feeling sheepish, is quite a wonder. Working through my own ambitions and emotional problems, I'm starting to just accept them as my own personal frailty and to also look into relating to others who might be in a similar jam as I am.
A lot of it is really just about being a natural freak of nature and forcing upon basic communication with the people you want to do it to. It's also hard work and sticking closely to what you believe in so much and at the same time having fun with it to the maximum level with contentment, just in case the person does something unexpectedly negative and feels she has a reason for it.
