I have a very vivid memory of my buddy and the stuff he has gone through is pretty silly from letting himself have a mental breakdown over things that barely relate to him and looking down on others. As he is getting older and we are the same age, it feels like he's degenerating because he just can't handle dealing with a lot of annoying things. He has brought up to me several times in the past that he has accepted his depression. His gains are short term and there are more down periods for him. Overall, I believe that he lacks in critical thinking and people skills so his solution would be to avoid any possibility of putting himself in danger. He's pretty much just trying to live his life the best way he can and hasn't really put on anything really impressive to stand out. He would like to argue otherwise though but that is just for him to figure out someday why the world doesn't stand with his views. From being close to him, I was at the front of hearing some of his crazy thoughts and views. Boy they made me mad to hear them often and with him denying that there were some loose ends to his conclusions. I guess if I ever hear his thoughts again, I'm not really going to take it that seriously. If he asks me a question on what to do, I'll just tell him what I think honestly and get used to him not agreeing with me.
What my main picture of this guy I'm writing about is that from spending a day with him, he would just watch YouTube clips all day and keep himself indoors. I was the kind who wanted to go out and do stuff and I would even pay out of pocket for him to go with me. You know it was like about having a buddy to back you up. He's not the ideal kind for that because he lets himself get into a lot of thinking traps. It really figures that he would be depressed or bitter because he would be sensitive and mope about the past. At least he talked a lot about his problems with me, but it was annoying to me because he wasn't able to solve them rationally and while fully at peace. For a guy like him, he's just letting himself stress out while looking down upon others and thinking he's a little better than everybody but forcefully ignoring that he hasn't lived up to his expectations.
For balance, it really does come down to standing on the firm promises of God found in studying the Bible which is easy to get so distracted by and not pick up much. I remember this from Annie the old small singles group leader who I did not support at Hope of God in Los Angeles. I had an unreasonable crush on her. It was really annoying because I would get so turned off by her and then wanting to blame myself for still liking her. I'm fortunate to have gotten over it. The Bible even talks about how the devil can quote Scriptures almost accurately for his own purposes, so it would be easy for any of us to be mislead by those who know what they are doing for their own agenda. I'm just saying that the devil can be right in some cases but the overall picture would be for his own selfish gain and that would screw us over in the end. Annie was correct about expressing how good it is to stand on the promises of God, but it was just an emotion and she failed to elaborate on it to encourage her small group. I should have spoke up and said "I think your time to spiritually lead us is over." I can't take the reigns though because I know I will suck too but I just know that she sucked. Annie is no longer the leader at that church and she's like a simpleton these days. She's human as she says she is and whether she degenerated or not, it's really none of my business to find out.