Life sucks. People can be such a pain in the neck! Notice how I dumbed down my usage of words and like a stupid person I do ***** to block out the actual bad word. Maybe I should spend a little more time with the dictionary to find a more elaborate word and to try to pass off a little dry and black humor for myself.
I feel selfish with my attempts to do well. It's a lot about being so good that I get recognized by others. I want to connect with my own friends really well and have them just continuously parade me with annoying messages on Facebook. Honestly, who would want that after awhile? That's so crazy to begin with, so what I have going on low key is pretty good and a few people really hate me for the stupid posts I put up that they unfriend me or they just don't like me for any reason I have done in the past or not too far back.
It's not about me wanting them now. I believe I have very high expectations to do so well and just set off a tirade with people's simple mindset. I mean that I'll be surprising to quite a bit of people and when it wears off after awhile, it may or may not make sense to them.
I'm just saying that my journey shouldn't really relate to any intention at all to impress everybody. If some of the things I do connect with a few people, then that's great! However, if there's nothing then there's nothing I can do about it.
I really want to give this full head on effort now to do well for myself and to be able to take care of others too. The feelings and thoughts I have in my head are just that- emotions and opinions, respectively; it's just too hard to ignore. I want to deal with the sorrow, pain, anger, and disappointments which lead me to draw my attention to simple and entertaining things. I would like to keep myself on a steady path and have all the negative energy depart from me on a regular cycle. It comes and goes intermittently.
I'm pretty much doing what's common which is watching TV or playing video games when I'm in that state of mind. I could also be putting myself into some deep and entertaining thoughts while I'm by myself; I've never thought I could do this on my own but it's been useful while I'm trying to better improve myself. Overall, I'm concluding that I need to learn to be more productive and efficient with my time. It's hard because of all of these distractions that just keep me from reaching it. Also, it can feel stressful at times too so I would have to find things that make me happy while being patient enough to work through things that are a pain. This is the area where I believe separates the average with the exceptionally great accomplishers.
I think my buddy isn't going to be successful and I'm not saying this to try to make fun of him. He's probably never going to get it from not having a great level of comprehension and thinking he's all fine and dandy still, which is probably the flaw to his masterful plan. He just wants to be ignorant of stuff going on that he doesn't care about while thinking he's the best, when he clearly is not and will have a blind level of happiness momentarily and only for it to be taken away again because he missed something or wants to blame someone took it away from him. Therefore, he can't be the best if there are those factors that keep him from maintaining his steady composure.