Over the last decade, writing to people I have an issue with has become a major factor to building my confidence. I don't really recommend it for people though because when you are mad and writing about stuff while trying to be nice and contain it in, you are setting yourself up for giving the other person a mental breakdown! They will just go crazy and lose it and reply in an embarrassing manner while having lost it. I see this now because with the way I'm able to write with some swagger and relatable sense of humor to people who didn't know they were being a jerk to me, they ended up totally shutting off with me; and I still possess negative material on them over trivial issues.
It's really fun to go all out and be crazy all you want while letting out your true identity. Fortunately, I'm not really that bad of a dude right now in terms of people standard. With God's standards, I suck. The Bible teaches that our righteous acts are nothing but filthy rags and that the heart is deceitful and evil. So with me feeling this sense of innocence right now, I'm later on susceptible to masturbating to porn to kill my worries over being premature. More and more I'm putting it together. I even say swear words when I know no one can hear me, but it makes me feel bad each time because it feels like I'm giving the devil a reason to laugh at me.
Fortunately, my faith is really grounded in believing upon how Jesus forgives based on his true grace and love for me. That on its own allows me to invite the Holy Spirit into my heart and allow it to work in me. Through being renewed and asking for forgiveness, the Bible teaches in 1 John 1:9 that we get to have a fresh start again and from Book of Hebrews, be made holy thanks to faith in Jesus.
Over all, with the past and knowing those individuals struggled in dealing with me and were selfish with anger issues and impatient about it, I have all the confidence I need to not worry about them and can rejoice that the issues weren't even serious. It's really not that good for them and will lower their standings among people holding them in respect for people skills. They might be just better off not getting involved and being a right hand man that just listens to the person who is letting out his or her problems.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
