My mental health is better than ever. This is probably the most amount of comfort I felt ever since taking on a tough road of burying my feelings as a kid and occasionally letting it out while rough housing other boys! I was also a silly and crazy little kid who just tried his hardest to stay quiet because I thought it was just being nice.
It became a problem eventually though because I wasn't socializing and feeling bothered by it. It turned into so much social anxiety with wanting to just fit in and relate to others. It was really hard for me to relax considering that I lived in a predominantly White and Hispanic neighborhood.
Getting all this stuff settled happened out of nowhere for me. It happened from just practicing self-confidence with a positive mindset and maintaining a willing spirit. It didn't happen overnight but the buildup just feels consistently good. Even sometimes when I feel like I'm having a little off-day, it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I have so much confidence underneath me that I'm just not bothered. I'm not even a shallow person anymore either with the friends I hang out with. I don't wish for better-looking girls to be my good friend and put off negative body energy around my homegirls anymore. I'm happy for who they are and care about them to the point of being protective over them even if they aren't my type.
I'm just happy to have found the right people to be like the right pieces for me. Even if it feels scarce for me, it's just enough to work with because I have at least one to go with so far. Now, it's about finding a good girl who will become my life partner.
