Job 32, Job 33

Job 32 pretty much involves Elihu talking in the conversation. He was a young man who accompanied Job's friends and listened in on the conversation. The whole chapter is about him preparing for replying with his own opinion. It's like a great introduction that he made. Job 32:1-2 pretty much reveals how Job fell because he justified himself rather than God for righteousness. Surely, Job did so many great things but I guess sometimes when you get carried away talking about your past, you forget your place. It's really amazing how Job was in the most lowly place and instead of being in mourning and very depressed, he ended up talking about how great he was to his friends. I would have a very hard time with that to be honest. I was also wrong about Job in giving him so much credit of never having sinned; I am a fan of Job!

Job 32:1-2 also gives me insight with some of my experience in how sometimes when a church is run, a group of believers would justify themselves to be righteous over God because they are overseeing the church. I experienced some painful bullying from these individuals while attending a horrible church and not being well-aware of what was going on. I was like a blind man in my head from lacking wisdom.

With Elihu being a young man, he observed the customs of that day which was to respect the elders and let them speak first. It probably still is somewhat today in some cultures, but I think in today's American society, the elders are left in a retirement home! I also think the middle-aged parents pretty much become the boss of their family. Elihu mentions in Job 32:7-8 how age should acquire years of wisdom and teach others, but how there's a spirit in man which gets understanding from God. Job 32:9 states how great men are not always wise, nor do the aged always understand justice!

For Job 33, hearing the voice over of Elihu and covering through the verses makes me want to cry, out of feeling for Elihu. He was agonizing over not voicing his opinion, and he let it go to find relief. In his way of admonishing Job, the way he voiced his words was definitely not an intent for chastising him. I myself have been chastised by my parents and others over matters that aren't very serious; it was hard to keep my heart still and stay relaxed. Elihu's model of rebuking Job is the way to go for me, and I champion the idea of having that type of fair-minded and loving heart. Whether the other person decides to give heed to this positive warning or not, this approach would give my soul rest when it comes down to rebuking another.

I understand where Job messed up. He was pretty much doubting in God's judgement for his own circumstances; it wasn't really God who did the afflicting though, it was from the enemy! I guess that's where we can sometimes forget in how God really works. In Job 33:16-18, Elihu mentions how God seals instructions in the hearts of men and tries to keep them from being destroyed by the hands of the enemy. Job 33:23 talks about a messenger saving the lives among thousands from ending up in hell! I think this is where believers can play a role by sharing their faith and encouraging others to find their place in God's family. Also, the ultimate messenger is of course Jesus, the Son of Man, who caused havoc in hell for the devil after being crucified. If any man would place their faith in Jesus, then he is practically saved from the burning fires of hell.

Job 32:26 mentions something very encouraging- it states that God restores to man His righteousness and from taking delight in God, He shall see the man's face with joy! Job 32:27 states that then the humbled man would admit to his peers that he sinned and it was not right with what he did. Job 32:29 states that God works all these things- I'm not really sure what Elihu means by three times with a man.

Job 31

Job 31 was simply put an amazing chapter to go through. There are definitely some things in here I can model off of while living on Earth. Honestly, instead of forcing myself to forget about the bad things now; I'm just going to allow God to heal my heart and to also make the effort to endure it now and at the same time be a very hard working individual.

Job 31:1 says:
I have made a covenant with my eyes;Why then should I look upon a young woman? 

I can honestly say that I struggle with this a little because from being a guy and looking forward to certain enjoyment, I get tempted with getting carried away. However, I can't really see myself ever committing the physical act of lusting after a beautiful woman, but my emotions have been like all over the place. The New Testament points out that it would be the worst, physical sin to commit against our bodies because they are like temples. The Bible states it's supposed to be enjoyed in a marriage, and I guess some people would rather get the fun and try it out instead of waiting. 

Job 31:7-8 says:

7 If my step has turned from the way,
Or my heart walked after my eyes,
Or if any spot adheres to my hands,
8 Then let me sow, and another eat;Yes, let my harvest be rooted out.

I believe that Job was willing to accept his full consequences for all of his iniquities. Whenever we sin, it causes a destructive rift, and it might look like others could be taking advantage of us. I think it's really about our hearts being in the right place. I recall that sometimes good people just get angry and have their moment of giving a fit; it's honestly something I really hated with enduring, but now I'm just taking it in. 

Job states in Job 31:11-12 that chasing after another man's wife is an iniquity deserving of judgement and would be a fire that consumes to destruction and roots out all increase. In a way, it does totally keep us from being productive and sidetracked  and also there would have to be some cover up that takes place. Honestly, with so many people in this world- why go after this one person who joined and vowed to be with another? 

Job 31:15 states that man has all been formed in the same fashion from the womb. I think sometimes people in high places forget their place and might abuse their servants. It's pretty humbling to know that we all began with a humble start. We were all helpless and unaware children at one point, which would make us innocent beginnings! I recall having some aggressive and angry conscience as a child and maybe some destructive imaginations of being a conqueror and oppressing others. 

For Job 31:19-23, it looks like Job was a very generous individual, and he took on his role of helping the needy very seriously. 

Job 31:24-28 says:

“If I have made gold my hope,
Or said to fine gold, ‘You are my confidence’;
25 If I have rejoiced because my wealth was great,
And because my hand had gained much;
26 If I have observed the sun[a] when it shines,
Or the moon moving in brightness,
27 So that my heart has been secretly enticed,
And my mouth has kissed my hand;
28 This also would be an iniquity deserving of judgment,
For I would have denied God who is above.

There are so many things in this world that could entice us to not place God first. From being human, I think it's easy for us to forget about our roots. Then again, maybe some of us don't even have that beginning of going to church and learning about God. I would like to place God first over everything else now and to do the best I can while living in this world. I'm going to try to work hard and being a giving person to others. 

Job 28, Job 29, Job 30

Job 28:28 states that the fear of the Lord is wisdom and to depart from evil is understanding. Pretty much in a nutshell, I felt that Job 28 talked about how man can't fully comprehend the wisdom that God has. What I heard yesterday on the radio was that God is the only witness to the beginning of the Earth. How He has prepared His Word for the people and given it to us to feed on as daily bread and grow under God's grace is a marvel for me.  Job 28:27 says that God saw wisdom and declared it; that He prepared it and searched it out!

God's wisdom can't be matched with anything valuable in this world. Job 28:21 says that it is hidden from the eyes of all living. In verse 19, it says that God's wisdom can't be valued in pure gold; it pretty much means to me that God is above everything else. 

For Job 29, I recall that God spoke with Satan in the beginning of the book of Job and said that Job was the most righteous person of the land. In this chapter, it gives great insight to what Job did.

Job 29:14-17 states:

14 I put on righteousness, and it clothed me;
My justice was like a robe and a turban.
15 I was eyes to the blind,
And I was feet to the lame.
16 I was a father to the poor,
And I searched out the case that I did not know.
17 I broke the fangs of the wicked,
And plucked the victim from his teeth.

In other words Job concluded in Job 29:25 that he sat like a chief among men and comforted mourners. People basically listened to Job and held him in high regards. Being righteous under the Lord is definitely a great spot to be in. I'm very encouraged to continue reading the Bible and learning about God's ways.

I think Job 30 gave a little insight to how others will want to follow you, if you have something they can benefit from. However, when you hit rock bottom; how many people will really be there to help you back on your feet? 

Job 30:26-28 states:

But when I looked for good, evil came to me;
And when I waited for light, then came darkness.
27 My heart is in turmoil and cannot rest;
Days of affliction confront me.
28 I go about mourning, but not in the sun;
I stand up in the assembly and cry out for help.

I actually felt like sympathizing with Job after reading these verses and hearing a voice-over. It's really sad with how a mighty man like Job was in his hey day, when he was fallen to the roots of ashes, people just didn't comprehend what he was going through and condemned him while thinking that he was being destroyed by God from having done something really bad. Job went through so much that would be nearly impossible for any man to live through. With him being righteous and then facing afflictions from the enemy and when the light at the end of the tunnel seems exhausted, if we can wait upon the Lord's righteous intervention even with having to face death, we will be redeemed! 

Job 25, Job 26, Job 27

I'm actually going through the Bible called the Word of Promise on my Kindle Fire and iPhone. It can also be downloaded onto the PC. It does come with the price of $40. I don't really care about the price, as it didn't seem to be that much for me. I already bought a portable MP3 player that stores those audio files which cost me $100, which is of the same quality!

It really helps me in retaining the information more and is slightly more entertaining because trained actors are doing voice-overs and it has some cool sound effects.

Anyway, a verse I really liked was Job 26:14, "Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways, And how small a whisper we hear of Him! But the thunder of His power who can understand?"

Job and his companions were having a conversation about how God works in their lives and what they valued in their faith with God. However, that's just a little part of God; we do not know the fullness and total glory of God. Yet, God speaks to us with His small voice through the Bible! He used people to be inspired and record His Word on the pages of the Bible. Whenever we read the Bible, we can have faith in knowing that God is trying to reach out to us. We don't need to rely on our own understanding because we already have the Scriptures to wrestle with, which is more than enough. From what I've been accustomed to, a lot of issues are mainly things that depend on who the person is. One thing may work while it might not work for another!

Job 27:13-15 states, “This is the portion of a wicked man with God,
And the heritage of oppressors, received from the Almighty:
14 If his children are multiplied, it is for the sword;
And his offspring shall not be satisfied with bread.
15 Those who survive him shall be buried in death,
And their[a] widows shall not weep."

For myself, that stuck out to me as a warning and something that I don't want to experience for myself. I might be wrong and I don't care if I am because I am willing to be corrected, but I think it's talking about going against God. An unbelieving man is probably going to foster a family of kids who also grow up to not believe in God. I mean some of them might be good people, but it becomes about living in this present world and getting the best out of it. 

The warning sign becomes really about lusting so much after life and never really being satisfied with having too much already. Some people go through the rat race and try to acquire the next greatest things. Some will just live for their favorite T.V. show; what if that show gets cancelled one day? To be married to a wife who married her husband for the wrong reasons and is able to come out of the marriage without being hurt by it is very sad to me; I don't want that- if the girl I'm interested in doesn't want to be with me, then that's that.

I Might Be Living With The Best Options

Being a single male, no kids and obligations to a girlfriend, and having never been in any serious relationship with a girl, I don't really have any excess baggage on me. I'm also clean and pure when it comes to having been with a girl. Because it's just a blog and how I believe in Jesus so much, I might as well just keep this up and preaching about having this living water where you won't ever go thirsty whenever I can.

I'm actually not laughing at jokes so much as I used to. I just look at it and feel comfortable. It's the same way when a girl dresses very attractively in most cases too. I don't really feel bothered so much about the appearances messing with my hormones; I'm the one who controls those physical fun stuff whenever I want to. Okay, sometimes it's a little out of place but it's not something I can't handle and to still make the right, moral decision when the time is made. I might feel a little stupid for not reconciling it in a manner that would make me happy, but yeah, I'm just a little above average than normal; I can say that with a humble and honest attitude.

I'm 30 years old now and still living with my parents. I have paid some rent money to them in the past. I really like this new house we're living in- it's very spacious and I can play with my computers in two different rooms with no one really bugging me. I can also go down stairs and play my piano and practice my love song I wrote for a girl I really have no interest in. I guess it's a typical style of someone who just has a lot of fun with daily things while being by himself.

I think I'm seriously living in the best years of my life. I don't want to waste them away by not carrying out my desires now. Obviously, I never knew what they were until now. As a 30 year old, I've woken up to new details that just naturally flow through my brain cells. I still have issues with concentrating but that's something I need to work on more for myself. My job is the perfect place for me to practice this, and I'm going to do the best I can while being a natural at it.

Just 45 Hours!

The only amount of free time I really have is just roughly 45 hours during the whole week. I counted it myself and what has become a challenge is figuring out how to use it to my maximum benefit and to increase my personal standard of living. 

Now I know, the whole restraining order thing people could put on me would be nonsense because I have too many alibis with being occupied with other stuff. They must just be really stressed out with their life, and it's really hard to not think about it and laugh at their personal demise. Wow, how does one function with that much stress and actually go up the ladder? They talk with so much hatred that it gets annoying and I get a hard time with wanting to be their friend anyway. 

I think holding back on some details for myself dealing with others is really a way of showing respect for them at all costs and just being an effective communicator. I think it really would work for a legal setting, and the tough part we should all work on would be to not be bothered with anything going on with your life. Sure, there are some consequences that occur but when it comes to being in the Lord, redemption and encouragement can be found like no other- to really become like a different person for a permanent basis and to be very satisfied in a spiritual and physical, that is a condition like no other miracle. It's where the self has found that revelation to become a new person and to live in a manner that just exceeds a regular person's standard and seems to be so godly; it's like how it's done so naturally. Anyone can make it happen! 

Working While Asleep

Eventually man, I'm going to start posting random photos and just keep working on myself. There's really no end to it, and I want to cry about it but really can't. I'm just going to keep moving forward. Ever since I was a kid, I've just been of a different breed. I don't use curse words around people, even though some people have said that I said them. I mainly say "Oh shoot" or "oh man!" a lot. I think those are my main words when I mess up at something- awhile ago, I thought hell was a bad word too, but from it popping up on the Bible so much, I actually adopted the word as a normal thing and actually place.

I don't think it really matters how good of a person I really am as a whole compared to society. I just choose to be moral as possible, while looking for no recognition among my peers. Life isn't fair anyway; might as well live in the best manner possible to be pleasing to God! It doesn't matter what others tell me; I'm going to try to reason my way through understanding quotes and passages from the Bible. I already know that I'm an outsider with the world.

People are going to observe and read the things I put, but some of them just have issues with me because they are stressed out about something in their life. It's very tough to manage bad things, and I guess some people just feel it's better to give up on me. Maybe it's for the better reason now. Everybody has strengths and weaknesses; with how we put it altogether and become successful in life, I think that really comes from the mercy and grace of our Father in heaven.

Timing is Everything

When it comes down to earning a lot of money. Timing is really everything! You have to just be there at the right time and right place. I'm going to have to once again let go of some side distractions and focus on my main goals. Blogging to me is so very important, so I have it listed as one of my goals. I mean I'm just using it as a little tool to motivate myself into doing stuff.

I guess the stuff I write might be a little offensive to some people, but it seems like those people who have a hard time with what I put actually ignore what I put on here. I think it's because I'm actually seen upon as not a very bad person. The ones who struggle with me are sort of rude, man- it gets annoying to be around them, but when it comes to living life, you can't always get what you want and sometimes you have to make the best of it. Actually, those people just stay out of my way more often than not now but they might talk behind my back also. I'm going to do the best I can to be nice, so that when they do say stuff like that, most people don't end up really believing that I'm crazy or something.

Oh, I get the humor now with some things when they seem to be going bad for me. I'm actually capable of laughing about my own bad situations, but it seems like a few close friends don't really laugh in their circumstance. Thinking about that actually makes me want to laugh inwardly; anyway, there are many reasons to stay motivated and to keep going. Wow, some of my friends just stress out and do other things that are a little out there- I'm not really going in deep with those details but yeah, I think it's sort of dumb to do that. I myself find fault in myself for doing those things and for me finding out about them, I need to make the effort to fix them.

Something About Myself

Honestly, it's pretty funny but I'm not really laughing right now because it seems to be actually true. This quote itself reminds me of my close friends being a bunch of failures and I truly hate that! They just gave up after awhile and move on to do other things, while not feeling very accomplished with their lives. It's so frustrating because I want to be around a group of winners who have acquired them through good means.

I pretty much do have a will, but sometimes I'm not understanding things that clearly which might make a few unstable people go completely ballistic with me! I think that's actually funny because they might have all of these opinions about me and communicate them while being scared with me. It doesn't really bother me now because I've chosen the path of being nice to them and whether I decide to fix the relationship or not really depends on who the person really is. If he or she is actually a great person, I'm going to fix it, but if I can't see it in that manner then I'm going to move on eventually but be even more ready at any given moment to do what I need to for protecting my own interests.

Actually, in terms of just people status, I might be considered a great and giving person. This makes it incredibly frustrating and scares the heck out of some people who have issues with me. They end up getting a little screwed over, unfortunately. I'm actually a pretty unique person for also being a short man- I think differently and have a lot of guts to man up with something I don't feel comfortable about.

Letting Go of Self-absorption

I'm finding myself to be without issues; when I communicate it, some friends have stated that everyone has issues with something. It is actually true, and I literally have a little trouble with figuring out what the right thing to do is and what the perfect amount of happiness should ideally be while we're living. I like to spend time to think about those things and to go after what reasonably are my passions!

What I'm finding myself doing a lot more these days than others is abandoning some desires that I don't really find that much use for me now. However, while being in prayer, maybe then things might turn the tide in favor of my direction. Having faith, it might help me stay alert and keep me informed on the things that I need to watch out for.

I'm starting to be about keeping things simple and delegating the things that I'm truly interested in going after. I do believe that making an effort to spend time with the Lord through reading my Bible on a daily basis, I will have a better idea on what's actually going on with the world these days. I believe that God can supply me with everything that I need or desire to my heart's content. There have been times where I'm just not feeling it with some things that I have done like online poker, but now I think I don't feel good about sticking to it.

Regardless of where we end up at, the Bible states that through putting trust in God to settle our issues, even though our sins are like scarlet and red as crimson, He can make them white as snow and make them like wool (Isiah 1:18). What I'm getting out of this verse is that God forgives our sins whenever we confess them (1 John 1:9). Confession also involves an act of turning away from our sin and acknowledging that we wronged God. 2 Corinthians 7:10 states, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." This means that desiring sinful things in this world will only be a season of pleasure before it withers away through through boredom or having that empty feeling of losing your soul. In other words, it's like your heart doesn't feel alive anymore. Job 14:2 says that man comes forth like a flower and withers away. He also flees like a shadow and does not remain. Jesus can provide a form of living water where you will never thirst anymore, just like the scene with the Samaritan woman at the well. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whosoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." (This verse is something that I have always memorized.)

How I Might Be Doing Things

The picture is pretty funny because it depicts a Bible scene where Jesus washes the feet of his disciples. Jesus displays humility and love by playing the role of a servant. Intuitively, servant leaders have been very effective at leading this country. Jesus plays the ultimate example with displaying unconditional love by serving us through opening the gates of heaven. He didn't just do it in the unseen, spiritual realm; he also lived it while he was on Earth which eyewitnesses gave account to. Even the leaders of the Jewish synagogue were offended that Jesus worked to heal others on a Jewish, religious day where no one was supposed to work, which is called the Sabbath Day!

Honestly, I'm sold on the issues of the Bible and how it presents itself to be the truth. The tricky part like always has been to try to figure out what the writers of the Bible actually meant with their intentions as well. I'm not buying into my own personal ideology after searching for facts; I think it's foolish to go after something that you could doubt in yourself- it would be better to search for overwhelming truth before taking the leap of faith a notch higher. I'm going to start praying to God a lot more through His Son. It's actually starting to make sense and helping me a lot more.

Working On Relationships

I think I'm just going to try to stay nice with people who have a hard time with me and even try to do stuff to get me mad. I'm really going to have to judge personalities now and make some choices on people I want to associate with. I'm going to try to pursue after relationships with people I'm totally inspired by and get along with really well.

It's really going to need to be about figuring out my personal desires and then going from there, while balancing everything that I can. One of the things I'm seriously finding to be very useful is blogging on this site. It does aid me a lot to understand situations with a natural flow of discernment. It's something that I felt a little lazy about feeling for myself, but now, I'm starting to not mind so much.

I think being friends with some well-acquainted, influential, and great people will help make my life a little more meaningful and enjoyable. It's just that it's really going to come down to what appeals to me.

A Lot Of Things To Accomplish Today

I've been learning lately that my job promotes better concentration for me and helps me to be a more stable individual psychologically. My mind feels limitless to the amount of challenges it can take on. I feel so upbeat all the time about going after new things and searching for the things my heart desires. It's always taking this approach of upgrading a personal routine.

My mind is honestly thinking about this question: how do I get in a relationship with this girl who I think is my type? I don't want to bug her with endless text messages of "Let's go out!" I also don't want to make her feel like she has no room to express herself- I prefer a lady who desires to be in the relationship, rather than taking charge of the woman. It's a great question- honestly, if things just won't work out for any reason, I want to stay in her friend zone for a whole lifetime. I also think it would be really interesting to find out who she decides to get with and show off to the world! So far, I'm not entirely sure about everything but it seems to be leaning on the positive side of things.

Some of My Impossible Goals

I don't think goals are fun or even challenging if you automatically state in your head that it's too hard to chase after. I really hate it when people I know pretty closely act in that manner with what makes them happy. I mean they have been putting it aside from not really making the effort of finding out what makes them tick. Also, they constantly come up with demotivating excuses to not even pursue after their dreams.

It seems like the the world is a very frustrating and depressing place; they don't seem to provide that much inspiration and fortunately, through the guidance of some visionary people with awesome hearts, the world has kept on going. I think God really has to do something with ministering others to shine their little light so the lost and forsaken would be led to a path of righteousness!

One of my funny and useless goals is that I want to make myself taller. Man, I'm only 5' 3" - I managed to squeeze 1/2 inches which is not too bad before my growth spurt ended, but that's it! People are giving me this negative talk about how it's all about the genes and that I can't do anything about it; it's devastating to me. I can't even afford the cosmetic surgery to get a little taller- I'll still be short afterwards and have to go through a painful recovery that could mess me up for the rest of my life! Anyway, the flip side is that I read that any person can make themselves appear to be a couple inches taller through the tricks of what they wear and fixing their posture. I think the appeal has to do with my own general confidence.

Honestly, the real challenge is going to be if I really get fortunate enough to meet a woman who is a knockout and happens to be an awesome lady who let's say came to become very interested in me but happens to be super tall. A very beautiful lady with an awesome personality that matches my type, but is very tall who happens to be head-over-heels in love with me; wow, it would be like the ultimate test of confidence for me and a challenge I would definitely take on! Yeah, it's about hard work and not being bothered by stuff and doing it all naturally. Praise the Lord, give all the anxieties to the Father above and praise His name and go after developing strength in those life challenges.

Growing List of Desires

I've been so out of the place lately in my head. I'm also realizing that at work, I'm having a hard time concentrating with my job. I've limited my cell phone usage, which is good and I'm acting like I'm working on the outside, but on the inside with my head and all, it's really thinking about how great I am with doing stuff. I'm getting this conceited feeling of being better off than others and laughing at my own personal jokes the most.

It's something that I'm learning to deal with, which isn't very bad; my head is just constantly craving for attention if you know what I mean. Anyway, I've been keeping a growing list of things that I want to do. I actually neglect the list all the time and probably only complete up to a few of them at the most. I actually don't have 20 desires that I want to work on; maybe, more like 15 of them right now.

The one I have the most feelings for right now is how I desire to be married to my type with all the great implications and satisfaction that go along with it. The thing that I believe the most important for me is how I long to learn and apply the actual principles of the Bible, by actually reading through the whole Bible to get a clear meaning of what it's saying and not adding in any bias from other sources. I just want to get the meaning of what the writers truly intended. I don't think it's necessarily evil or have that sort of malicious intent; I mean loving someone unconditionally and allowing your life to be robbed because of it to promote the message of loving others unconditionally as well is so unheard of and captures the attention of my heart. The Bible says that the world will know Bible practitioners by what they do, which is through loving others unconditionally!

Letting Go

There are so many things to develop for being the self. It's been pretty funny and weird but nonetheless, it seems like something could be used as a template to develop a relationship with the right person you have in mind.

I'm actually utilizing the religious approach of ministering to others who are having a hard time with me now. I'm talking about Jesus and how they should get to know him and read their Bibles. I'm really laughing while trying to preach to them about how God truly loves them and wants them to be His child.

Yeah, it really works! I'm happy and even though they might stay upset, they seem to not overreact with me that often. I'm going to start preaching the gospel in those situations where people feel like they are having a hard time with me.

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope it's just not today that we focus on pleasing our mommies but it's done everyday! Honestly, my mom has to put up with me after she brought me into this world, but she surely loves me and is capable of defining my own attractive qualities. My mom never really talks about how funny or crazy I can get for being a guy, but she likes to mention practical things with me.

One of the things Mom gets a little aggressive about with me is how I need to focus on developing my own fashion. I understand the importance of displaying our style and carrying a sense of an appropriate amount of swagger with it. For being a short dude, I am actually aware that some younger girls are noticing me but I think it's to point out the negatives with me which is funny in my head. I don't really mind being noticed over negative things now, but I think my appearance really had to do somewhat with not being accepted by a somewhat weaker crowd.

I'm basically choosing not to be bothered and to labor with what I can do and trying not to waste my time. My closest buddies are actually sort of a bunch of losers with the least-attractive, looking guys being the most aggressive towards women. It's pretty funny- man, I must be someone to really get a little concerned about because of my perceived intellect and decent personality as a whole, compared to the general population.

Discipline While Half-asleep

I'm now aware that I truly need about an hour to get by the traffic and to work on time. I need to make that a formal discipline for myself. The photo was sort of funny, so I had to put it in; it reminds me of how dirty and so hairy I look when I'm not shaved. I looked at myself close up on the mirror and it looks pretty unpleasant; I guess the mirror has this magnifying glass effect where everything looks ten times larger than it is. However, when I'm proportioned from a normal distance; I don't really look that bad.

In conclusion, I'm actually not a very bad looking guy while being a short man; I'm not getting cut any slack from anybody because of the way I feel about my lacking personal appearance. I'm a dude so I'm supposed to just shrug it off and that's what I'm doing now. I really don't have a short man inferior complex after all now; it's all done and over with. As long as my life partner isn't super tall or super short, I think it won't be too much of a problem if she ends up about a head taller than me. Maybe, I could go for someone whose a little shorter than me, but likes to wear high heels- hey, it might be a sign of confidence for me while other guys with height issues look at me with disgust. I was there at one point, too!

I just might very well be the guy who ends up defying some traditional stereotypes. I might be a short guy who is very successful and even be the nice guy who finishes on top of things and not at the bottom. I've already made a few guys with complicated issues jealous with me and then walk away from me while thinking I'm a twerp. At least they aren't really bothering me and I learned to be forgiving with others a long time ago as a kid, instead of becoming a bitter grown-up. It has to do something with my emotional development while attending church and believing upon the Lord. I think I'm the better individual with some style and better class which equips me to not be a socially bad person in general with anybody. Maybe, those individuals wouldn't benefit from me chasing them around and influencing them while forcing them to look up to me. I think I've done enough already and it's about time someone else later on, if it happens, helps them become super laid-back and nice individuals with a genuine and open heart. It's probably not going to happen, but there's no shame in hoping for the best always.

Motivated

I feel so motivated to just sit on this computer and blog about stuff that I plan on accomplishing today. It feels like a great pick me up to be sitting here on this comfortable environment and blogging away to my heart's content. Today, I'm a little sore from having worked out but from having neglected it for weeks, I'm not at 100% but I plan on getting back into an acceptable level of physical fitness and making myself stronger in a few weeks.

Oh my gosh, working out really helps up my mood and makes it even easier to not be bothered by things when I put in the effort. I'm going to try to get ripped abs and muscles and just walk around the beach like I know what's up! For now, I'm actually cleaning around the house and donating items that are not heavily in use anymore. It feels really good to let those distractions go now.

Right now, I want to finish cleaning out the garage where my dad has stored over 1000 VHS tapes; yeah, Dad was really big on owning movies until he acquired a hard drive and paid membership for downloading movies! He watches K-drama all day; yeah, I'm a full Korean born in the U.S. towards the heart of Los Angeles. People from other states have told me that I have a surfer accent; I can only imagine what I could do with a surfer board since the beach is only twenty minutes away for me. I used to do body surfing, so maybe the cold water had an effect for my quivering voice while growing up; who knows?

Little Drama

Pretty much, I was caught using my cell phone last night at work. The supervisor told me that it's neglecting my job which is monitoring the machines and making sure nothing wrong is happening. I guess I'm a little bothered with being so bored at work, but it's the hard work that goes with it which is going to make me not so tired or hating my job!

So much stuff goes on in my little head while I'm standing around and machining some parts. It's very dangerous to not keep my mind focused, so I seriously think that maybe this line of work might be incredibly hard for me to catch on to even though the field is very cool! It looks like it's really about maintaining my own positive attitude and hard work ethic more than me doing the job successfully. I'm getting pretty proficient with the job, but I'm not totally into it yet and it's really hard to stay focused for me. I guess that's the hard part I'm learning to master. I just have so much racing thoughts right now which sometimes invade my personal line of work; it might be a defensive mechanism I chose while being so bored with myself at work. I'm going to have to just be productive naturally and do the best I can with doing the right stuff without being told how it's done.

Stuff To Be Careful About

I'm actually going to need to go take a shower and then maintain my cool vehicle. I bought a convertible not too long ago, but it's used. It's so sweet! I really like the ride, but the leather makes the interior so hot at times and a little water accumulates on the truck and enters the back seat when it rains. It's something I want to fix eventually. When I do ride and hit the breaks, I can hear a little water trickling sometimes; other than that, the engine and ride is pretty smooth and other passengers don't mind me driving a little aggressive on the road.

I was really tired yesterday and actually swerved onto another lane. I ended up leaving the freeway and parked in a residential area. A cop gave me a little hard time last night, but I think I'm better at going about my business compared to him doing his thing and I think I'll succeed at what I do better than him. This gave me the idea that I need to do a little research, but the cop was pretty nice about not writing me a ticket for sleeping on the side of the road.

I actually read that in California, it's illegal to sleep on a road that is accessible to the public. The drive-way is private property so I could technically park my car on my parent's drive-way and sleep on there.

Pretty Funny

I have something to lament about. I've been trying to get people on my Facebook to hit the like button by trying to be extremely funny or interesting. It's not working for me; people just seem to cruise on by or just ignore anything I put. I'm really trying to get a little recognition going on for self-related purposes of feeling like "Yeah, I'm on fire."

Anyway, what was interesting is that a girl I know who might not be taken responded to one of my posts the other day. She pretty much wanted to accept my offer of giving away one of my computers. I so wanted to show off with the cool stuff I actually have and enjoy using. I have three computers that I use and are so amazing and sweet!

Since I have some money I'm planning on giving back by working on my older computers and then giving them away. The laptop looks pretty good to use still in appearance, I'm going to try to upgrade the processor and memory and then maybe, I'll hand it off to the girl I'm interested in getting to know. I think she's actually my type, but what I find a little weird is how it seems like she's on Facebook all the time. I guess she's been reading my posts as well without me knowing what her reactions are. Oh well, it could be a little scary but she's so passive with her responses. It's like God is watching me do stuff and I don't mind what's going on and seem to forget that while I go off and do my thing.

Reorganizing My Life Around

There are a couple aspects that I will never reveal on this blog. I have an occupation that I prefer not to state so blatantly online, but won't have problems revealing it in person. Another thing that I will never reveal is if I have any hostile or illegal intent with anything. I'm not even going to put some feeling into it anymore with my writing while talking about it now. Anything that I feel people are going to question into being illegal or immoral, I'm not going to talk about it now or put it on this blog. That's one of the things I will be so dedicated to doing.

I've been so busy practically. I've been everywhere technically, and it seems like a girl I've been interested in for the longest time could end up becoming a decent friend. One of the things I really have to do on a daily basis is to put in the effort to not be bugged or angered by things; I have to put in the effort to not be bothered by anything and to focus and concentrate at my job.

For my main occupation, I'm pretty lucky- I'm helping my dad build some pretty sweet airplane components. It's some confidential stuff that I can't even publish either with photos. It's pretty cool actually. I've been trying to organize everything in my life and letting go of stuff that I haven't been using. I guess it starts with the self and then not letting anybody else get to me.