I'm honestly convinced that a former coworker liked me in a cute way. She was down to earth and very polite, but has the ethnicity that's scorned by the older generation of my race. I don't really care about it, but I was still uncomfortable about trying to date her because I felt like I didn't have the financial means yet to stand up to my dad who is the boss and a superficial purist when it comes to preserving the bloodline.
I feel like my hands are tied down and that I have to obey him even if I don't believe it. I'm mad from being afraid that I'm going to have a hard time financially and don't really want to put that on myself. I'm sorry to write this, but she just wasn't worth it enough for me yet.
I did ask to hang out with her before she moved on to a better job, but she declined. I was interested in being friends with her, but I know that she was uncomfortable with it. Another buddy of mine who is pretty weird but was regularly pursued by guys when she was hotter a few years ago likes to reply by smiling and then saying that it's her loss!
The thing though is that if I work really smart enough then maybe I'll be able to get rich quicker and have the means to live an enlightened millionaire's life.
I wouldn't have to put up with my parent's negativity because I'm totally against compensating for all of those superficial and/or insecure concerns. I've learned to look on the inside of a woman and primarily appreciate it more in regards to the ideal partner I'm looking for. However, it doesn't hurt that getting in that physical mood is still working and will stay consistent.
