I believe that my calling is to labor and become a wealthy man and live a very happy life! I mean that by having only one wife at a time without any divorce, so only way is if my imperfect wife passed away if I felt unhappy with her or she just cheated on me and wanted to walk out on me which would suck and mean divorce! I'm not counting on cheating with my wife and not even looking and/or masturbating to porno for that. I think I'll have all the satisfaction I need from marrying a gorgeous woman in addition to her already being so sweet naturally. I guess that's what true love would feel like to a normal man. Priority would come to making the wife happy and I hope I'll do enough for her and do the best I can while truly loving her which is what she would want.
It would be very stupid then after all of this intense laboring and waiting with finding the right girl, then to throw it away on one major fatal blow to the relationship! Yeah, I'm not having that and think I'm just going to practice by learning not to give into porn already while I'm all by myself. I guess some guys just justify with their own reasons and are crazy fans but yeah, there's nothing I can do about it.
On top of that, my calling also includes studying the Word with a man of God like J. Vernon McGee who lays out the whole Bible in his commentary in a verse by verse fashion. I run a Bible app on my phone and switch over to it after reading some verses and it just conveniently locates the related commentary. People even call it basic and I'm having trouble trying not to fall asleep while reading it with the Bible. Yeah, I choose Vernon McGee to be my central mouth piece with my quiet time. I do like Jack Graham's teaching called the PowerPoint which seems to connect really with me though. Overall, I'll listen and disagree at certain points but that's what Vernon McGee already mentions in his commentary so yeah, I think I'll stick with him. For my upbringing, I came to meet God through attending a Baptist church and Jack Graham leads a Baptist church so maybe it would make sense for me. Also I attended a Presbyterian church for awhile and Vernon McGee was Presbyterian in the beginning before switching over to non-denominational which is where I'm at now even with all this confusion with people's opinions being all over the place. It seems to make sense how I want to grow in the Lord through allowing these two to teach me.