I think I finally figured out how to accept the wrongs that happened to me in the past. The only reason why it took me so long is because I didn't want to find any fault with the people who used to be my friends. They had it so wrong, and it also felt that way all along so it caused problems because I didn't want to put any fault on their behaviors.
Because of this and their scheming behaviors from having got lost with themselves, others joined in and did wrong to me also. It's all based on the heart, and from being a trusting person, it was hard to accept my former friends would try to defame me from having anger issues about something that didn't have any relation to them.
It's sort of like playing a game of Mafia and picking out who is the culprit. It's pretty hard if the person not revealing him or herself to be a mobster does it so well. I only made my former friends look this way because I didn't want to blast them away from not being able to contain my anger anymore. It was really one of my flaws in this whole long term situation that I put on myself.
I'm just happy that I finally found my way, but there's probably people out there who have it worse and might never recover. It goes to show how people can just be so faulty in general.
Basically, what makes it so much easier on me is realizing that their hearts sinned against me. Also, I truly don't care what they did to me and it was always like that. I was just going crazy from juggling thoughts inside my head without knowing what went wrong the whole time. This all came in time because thankfully I have enough brain cells to figure it out. The hard part will be what if I have something that I can't find the answer to and it bugs me more than something silly others used to do to me. If this happens, then I'll probably be seeking for a good therapist while turning a lot more to prayer while trying to search the Scriptures.
I'm just lucky for having finally made it with realizing this much by myself while things are going really well for me now.
