Letting Go Is Tough

Things I'm so used to in the flesh are totally psychedelic and extremely addicting at the same time; therefore, I have problems trying to run away from them for very long periods of time. I mean I could be like addicted to my job or maybe I could be addicted to trying to be a good person and be a loving husband. I guess there are some things out there that are good to be addicted to; in a way, it can be a good thing but overdoing can become a problem. For example, being addicted to loving my wife and only focused on that might keep me from doing my boring job right now.

I'm addicted to sleep on most occasions, but right now I'm up and about at 4 in the morning. Man, I guess that sounds more like someone whose addicted to staying awake. Therefore, letting go is hard- yeah, I was trash talking to myself about playing a dumb poker game and so I deleted the contents very rapidly and with no remorse. It's like I never played the game. Anyway, talking about how tough it is in letting go with my gaming addictions and other addictions that are non-drug related, man it just feels like I have all the time in the world sometimes.

Pretty much the biggest thing I'm addicted to is having unselfish fun. I don't know how that's plausible with being a giving person and having fun at the same time. It's possible because God can make it that way for anybody if he or she wants to think it's fun doing stuff like that- it's mainly perceptual. Okay, so I'm wasting my time here blogging and circumventing from my main point. I have all the reasons or maybe that's how I'm building my post right now into convincing everybody that letting go could actually be easy- it's art which can be so deceptive sometimes.

I guess I have to discipline myself and do the boring chores in life in a marathon-like path. I'm not afraid of becoming unstable from doing constant boring actions now. Yes, asking random people to marry me would get boring because what's the point if I'm going to keep getting rejected by showing my wedding ring which I would have technically glued on. Marriage is considered to be an institution by the government- wow, what a logical body. My wife and I are like one in the same flesh and entity that's recognized by the government.

Letting go and doing some of the hardest things in the world comes from having discipline. Once a person commits to discipline and gets something successfully done- it's really hard to break from it. I guess the boring adult stuff I'm doing is only being rationalized from what I did as a kid to have fun. In order to make a living, I was supposedly having fun because something was what I really set myself out to do.