Monday, October 31, 2016

Anger Problems

I seriously have so many anger problems over the smallest things. I don't like people unfriending me on Facebook. If I find out then yeah, I've tried to be nice while taking out my frustrations out of them. I'm not going to kid the reader, it's still mean so if I'm going to be blocked anyways from trying to be nice and coming off as a condescending person to them, then I might as well go all out and make accusations about them or just be nice and not get any response back from them.

I finally managed to get that anger issues with Facebook a little better under control. With restraining orders going away, maybe the dude I can't reach anymore, I don't even feel mad at first name Washington anymore. He's Washington a total donkey and stupid person.

Both Sides To Seriously Consider

Yeah seriously. The fastest way sometimes is to just be considerate for the other person and try not to have anger issues about it.

Going For A Master's

When I think about it, my job sort of sucks. I'm not really a huge fan of it. I'm going to go for a Master's in Information Technology and then look for a job in that field. I did some research with jobs in that if I'm able to achieve high grades with a graduate degree then I will find success in doing a career change.

Despite the reasons that my parents give to keep me in, if there's demand for a job then it means that there's a shortage of people who are in there. If you have the requirements and can get it in a reasonable amount of time and have ability to work then why not be given an interview and actually land a job in that field. It just makes sense.

Not Sure What To Write

Well, I guess it's not fun to leave so many hanging for the day. I didn't intend to leave so many days like this open.

Just Writing Anything

I have like four more after this so I'm just going to finish it up for the night. I guess I'm trying to be at least consistent in feeling up my days of the month. Whether I write something meaningless and nothing useful for everybody or not, this is turning out to be quite a fun hobby.

Nonetheless, I'm just typing at a random speed and improvising stuff that I'm writing without really thinking much effort right now. I've actually written like this several times from being mad and held nothing back. It's been giving me pretty good results all on my end.

It seems like when I get mad and express my disapproval with someone who was going off on me and then I keep doing it at a constant, steady pace. They don't really want me to yell at them anymore. If I go on full attack mode with people who were being jerks with me, then it shows that yeah they were on something and me going off on them isn't really me to begin with and what caused it would most likely be them yelling at me and some time has passed by.

I think I respond to angry remarks with anger if it's too constant after some time passes by. Yet, even though I'm mad I'm still willing to talk in an honest matter while I'm angry and shouting. It's pretty weird that I'm still conscience of how mad I am. I'm just letting it out because I really have to at that moment. It helps me cry afterwards when I have my own alone time. I'm then able to find comfort and just be at peace about the incident and be willing to talk and work it out. I might even drop my guard again from being relaxed, until the person gets me mad again.

Stay Cool, Don't Do Illegal Drugs

Stay cool. Don't drink and drive as well. Buzzed driving is technically drunk driving I guess. Anyway what I'm noticing is that my senses might want to tempt to do things because I want to get the pleasure but then again, I get second thoughts about doing so without an established order of acceptance from God.

Just Trying Hard I Guess

I need to focus better and try harder I guess. I'm going to go back into reading the Bible again and try to stay consistent. I'm going to try to live on the promises I made to God and live by the convictions. I still have anger issues over the past and it's something that will always be a part of me. There's nothing I can do about the past and I accept it but it doesn't mean that I won't stop feeling angry about it even if I decide to be friendly with the people who I felt wronged me in an insignificant manner. I guess it's not really a grudge or a sensible thing to be so angered about.

Well, it's just not fair and I feel indignant about it. I'm willing to talk and work things out while I'm mad. They can't do it because they are stupid. I might just talk to them while I'm showing my full anger at them. This would mean that I would be shouting regular sentences at them.

Time Management

Time management is definitely playing a huge factor for me now. My female buddy who is like a friend with benefit says that's a key thing she notices about me and is something I should improve upon.

Well, I like her and don't think I have much a chance with her even though it looks like she shows signs of actually liking me. I don't know if she has feelings for me, but it definitely does show she has an interest in me. I don't know where it's going to with that. At the same time, I don't think it's likely for a short guy like me to get married.

Then again, successful short guys with a lot of money and are also athletic regardless of whether they look handsome or can still get married too with a decent girl. Maybe, I'm just doubting myself from thinking generalized terms, but I don't think that's how relationships always work. It's like my parents generalizing that people with same cultures having marriages will have better success than those that don't. Just call it old-fashioned I guess.

Playing Catch Up

I actually am trying to finish up this month now and have only like two hours to kill before my day is over so I will be posting in very small amounts. The server appears to be catering to my own time so that's probably why it will always look like I still have time for people who have faster time zones than I do.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Another Female Friend Update

On top of scoring a date with one of my female friends and she's actually not bad in the category of preferences, I can live with that. Looks don't really matter and I keep telling myself that and then out of nowhere, I'm magically blown away by how many good looking women there really are in this world. Those women also end up socializing with me.

One of my friends who I used to have a crush on is now on my good friend status. She's so cool and beautiful and smart. Actually, I think she's more like a friend with benefits in a spiritual sense. I don't believe in walking that way physically because she's in an unknown relationship with this one guy.

I believe there are some crazy signs with that guy she's with and not sure if the relationship is on the rocks but it has stood after all these years and not sure if she'll tie the knot with him. Anyway, she feels like a friend with benefits and I love her unconditionally.

What's great about having a friend with benefits in a spiritual sense is that while I'm physically attracted to her, we get to support each other emotionally. We get to have some intimate related conversations with each other and even carry it over via text. It's very cool and soothing actually. It's even helped me move up a little bit on the social ladder with people. I look a bit cooler and people take notice and wonder about our relationship. I'm just saying friend at the moment but I guess it still doesn't register like that to one of my other female friends. She's like trying to look out for me, which is cool.

My little sister is like whatever and that it's cool for me to be socializing with a non-Korean, healthy, and attractive girl. She wants me to tie the knot with her or somebody related so I can face the drama of married life and just get away with it from my parents because I'm the oldest and spoiled son.






Friend Update

Well I found a date by asking a single friend. She said sure and that was quick. Just one text about needing a date and she was like I'm your girl. Okay, what a great friend. Wait, am I confusing a potential girlfriend for a friend? Hmm, I needed someone to go with and just from considering she seemed to be the ideal first choice, it wouldn't have really got to me if she said she couldn't go.

The fact that she said yes, "Alright. What a ego booster!" I'm like yeah, and uplifted. First try looking for a date and she said yes!

What made it easy was that she's actually in a good circle of my friends. Also from noticing her personality, she seems to have warmed up to me quite well and is friendly. I see her as a pretty introverted person, so maybe this is a sign that she seems into me. Also, I mentioned maybe as a serious joke, but that I'm interested in hiring her as an employee someday. Basically, I was mentioning about doing nice stuff to her. Okay, I guess that warrants to her being open to one date with me.

She's also smaller than me and I prefer dating smaller women so that's another bonus. I was going to try to ask a giant female friend to go with me, so I could test out my confidence factor and make it work while laughing underneath and everybody else probably choking on their food and drinks if they saw us dancing.


Still Ticked Off

Dude, I still have serious anger problems from my past incident with that small fellowship at a church in Los Angeles. I threw a Jehovah Witness Bible at their Christian pastor in front of everyone. He still sucks! I then ran out because I was afraid the cops were going to detain me.

Man, I've been detained so many times for the most stupid reasons and it doesn't even go on my record. I'm glad that the laws in California are more fair probably because of the liberals and hippies fighting to maximize their rights to party and do whatever they feel like.

Basically, I haven't been detained then on paper and I don't really have an active restraining order so all of those things don't even count as a conviction on me. I don't have to reveal my horrible past where I smoked the living fear out of a stupid girl named stupid Lee. Everybody has a problematic and dramatic history. It's just that mine is ghetto and stupid and lame. It's so lame that I'm getting anger problems over it!




Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Like 30 Min of Creativity

Under my whole 24 hour window, my main activity is just trying to make myself a millionaire through attempting to make proper set and go trades. It's a little advanced for most people, but I'm just one of them who has been trying all this time to make a living off of it. Hiring someday to make trades for you is pretty bad because the hireling wants your money the best way they can make it and so they will go for aggressive trades and blow out your account for you!

It's pretty much like you hired someone to be safe and make profit for you, but no the person is acting just like you in that moment that you hoped would never happen. Basically, it's forget about it now and all that money lost is because of their fault but it falls all on me. I'm not hiring trading managers now. I'm just going to do my own thing and recommend that everyone who wants me to make money for them should do it on their own because I'm not going to.

Been Posting Crazy and Not Unfriended

I think it's funny now that I have this confidence in people unfriending me. After feeling rejected and dissed like 50+ times over my lifetime of having Facebook starting from 2001, yeah like when they first started; I just stopped caring so much about it.

At least I can find out who unfriended me by searching long and hard. It seems like people have to be afraid of unfriending me now because it causes problems. It's weird because you are like stuck with me once you add me as a friend. So it's love or hate me like a weirdo and no way out without me figuring that out someday.

If you decide to add me as a friend and then get all moody and justify that you were under some pretenses and make the conclusion that I'm crazy then well yeah, I guess it's how it is. I think from the way I stepped up my game, it's like people don't really want to unfriend me now. Well they still can but they better hope I don't find out about it.

Seriously Hard Work

Seriously, hard work is really about just willing yourself to do things. That's about all I can say in it. It's something that you just eventually get used to. I have so much energy these days that it's funny how I make things happen.

I think it's important to be around winning attitudes and good people. It's too bad but maybe someday I'll have the right kind of person in my life helping me out. It looks like as I get older and wait more, then there are more chances that I'm getting to meet women. It's interesting who I could end up with.

I think looks don't really matter and that's all I'm telling myself because the slightly better looking ones make me a bit more surprised in their appearance and I seem to be having a bit more success in attracting them. I don't know why but maybe it's because I'm smart enough to handle them without losing my cool.

Getting Mature

You know, I don't think it really matters too much except that I think admirers might come from I don't know where. I want to be liked by 1000s of people and have like zero haters.

Just liked and then I get to pick the one pretty and cute nice girl who is right for me. Oh yeah, what a crazy fantasy. On top of that, after all the hard work I put into something, I end up becoming on top of game with pouring in millions of dollars and being able to help out the less fortunate. I'm not going to make myself a communist nation where I am the money that flows into people's bank accounts.

I guess there has to be a balance of how things are otherwise it's going to drive me crazy!

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Life On the High Rise

Right after making a nasty and sarcastic joke about in my life, I'm starting to just not really care staying mad over. I'm actually realizing that it's good to have these uncomfortable emotions flowing through the veins of a person's soul. It's like those cravings and obsessive feelings about wanting to do some type of behavior whether it rewards you or not.

I think it's because those people I ended up clashing with were too immature and didn't understand what I was going through. They were just thinking about how right they were and being stupid about how to go about it. They couldn't even get me in trouble by espousing a frivolous restraining order.

What it did do was that it ended up giving me anger problems for a very long time. I still have anger problems with it and have been doing something about it. I've turned all scary to them and now they are like "We accept you back." I don't even know if I want to go back. I might just go back and tell them that they suck while yelling at them and then just leave. I don't really care from being a sore loser about this incident. It gave me so many emotional problems and now I just want to let it rip with anyone who still goes to that church. They'll be like, "What's with this guy?" I tell them the truth and they will be like, "Okay, we are scared. Go away please."

Oh well, that's just life. Who really cares? This is just my blog that I can type about anything while letting the time pass. I'm talking about how these people who gave me anger problems are idiots and not even worth my valuable time to consider as friends these days. I don't even think they can hold a gun so why even consider poetic justice on them. They are a bunch of weak losers and sissies. I should rolling be with the fun, big kids and not these puppet-like infants. I guess that's what you call maturing and relating to a lot of pretty female friends. I'm doing that actually and not even caring about if they aren't responsive with me that much.

I'm starting to get better responses from girls now though, but it's just being friends.

Annie the Bad Bad Sheep

Annie the Bad Bad Sheep had a really bad bad day. I told her peers that she maxed out her credit cards! She said that last week and I brought it up again. Her peers were like "Oh wow. You shouldn't have heard what she told the whole world about."

Annie the Bad Bad Sheep ended up not feeling like adding me as a friend on Facebook. She had a really bad bad day while being a very mad mad person while trying to tell me that she hated me in the nicest manner. Oh well, Annie the Bad Bad Sheep is now a mommy I should add and like 100+ people liked that post. I don't know how Annie the Bad Bad Sheep managed to be an extrovert and only leave out one post that everybody liked. She has had like no activity ever since on Facebook.

Her being someone's wife now means that she's someone's number two. Oh yeah, I still get to be number one. Annie the Bad Bad Sheep sucked as a person. I really wanted to yell at her, but what can you do when you are attracted to her ugly ugly body.

Yuri the Schmuck

So Ms. Yuri had kids without marrying anybody, so that's naughty naughty on my personal Santa's Bad list. Boy what a crazy and irritating, but slightly funny woman. I wasn't laughing because I was driven to the point of flipping my handle and wanting to just cuss her out in person.

I ended up just being raw and straight forward with her. Now that I think about it, Yuri the Schmuck isn't really worth my valuable time for trying to convince her anything about. She's practically useless in the whole circle of life for me. She's almost on the same level as stupid Lee, but I think stupid Lee is far worse and even better at being a schmuck than Yuri the Schmuck.

If Yuri the Schmuck and stupid Lee had a dance off then neither of them would win because they would probably figure that drinking alcohol and getting buzzed off of it and slipping on their own floor they ended up creating a mess with, is much better than getting off their butts to dance to some music! I'm starting to just feel like creatively making fun of them without ever showing up in their lives again.

Maybe this is talking behind their back, but nothing is preventing them from checking out this site that they don't even want to bother reading. Therefore, Yuri the Schmuck and stupid Lee remain their respective titles in my mind. This is my blog, so oh well. Hack it, now? There's no valuable information to really extract on here but a level of humor and effort gone into a few individuals who wouldn't be able to screw back a computer on for a dollar is better for the masses who don't mind laughing at people who are being made fun of.

Why I Haven't Blogged For Days

Reason for why I haven't blogged so much lately is because I've been holding back just to see if there's a correlation with this blog and the number of patrolling police cars I see while driving. I have this weird theory that this girl named Yuri the Schmuck was calling up her friends in legal enforcement to have the dispatch put their eyes on me more often.

I know it's a weird conspiracy theory for myself. I can't be so sure, but even if it is true then at least I can prepare for it while staying in a relaxed mental state. Actually, I'm starting to reason out that maybe being alive is about having negative stuff happen and being upset about them. The fact that you would be able control those feelings emotionally and press forward is what helps you become a successful individual.

So from controlling your emotions, it doesn't mean to go out and wreck havoc and then practice self-control right after doing the dirty deed. I'm starting to suspect a wild deal about what people are feeling and have been contemplating if I should just start shouting at them and making them cover their ears to get them to realize that the matter isn't serious to begin with.


Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Doing the Right Thing

"In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."- Theodore Roosevelt

I really need to think about what the right thing to do is for myself. I think it's not really a bad way to live in my situation with that frivolous restraining order. Maybe what I want is not always the right thing to do.

If I think about all the right things I did, then well, I informed the pastor about how wrong he was in his assertions he made with me. How would going back to visit that dumb church be the right thing after all these years? I really need to know if I can justify this clearly.

Oh I get it now why it's the right thing to do. I made a hasty oath with the Lord that if I made myself a millionaire and got a six pack then I would go make a visit with them again. To go back on it, it would be very morally wrong for me and it's my strong conviction, so I'm pretty much tied down to it in a happy manner. I'm not breaking the law from going back anyway and everybody else who opposes it has some anger or paranoid issues.

I think the right decision is to also not hold back my thoughts and just go with the flow and not hold onto any pretenses. My point of going is to just release my anger problems that have been built up with me all these years without breaking any laws. They can call the cops, but it's not going to make me go to jail. I'm leaving while they are calling the cops and I'll have yelled and made fun of them and done everything nasty I could think of while calling myself a proud American and living in a society of freedom of speech, so there's nothing they could do about it.

"I don't know" someone would say, and that's pretty all he has to it. Being nice isn't going to cut it, so I'm going to be a really mean butt head back at them by yelling "What up crazy?" to Lee and leaving the church. There's more elaborate scheme to conduct here. Yelling at the ushers too maybe and leaving.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Better Learn To Fight

I'm going to be in tip top shape and I may end up regrettably provoking a few people into trying to physically attack me. My plans has me thinking it's going to be that bad. It would be better if that didn't happen, but I might as well just over prepare for it in case it does happen.

I'm not supposed to bring any guns inside a church so I won't out of respect for the American culture. If someone does have it at that Asian church, then they are killing me out of cold blood. I think Asians tend to be passive aggressive so they might think of other ways to get back at me. I could use that as an advantage to be a step ahead of them.

In any case though, I'm going to have to over-prepare for this final confrontation with them because it's going to be a pretty long term skirmish and battle of the wits. I'm there to collect my trophy which is having Lee personally add me as her Facebook friend. I may then make a status talking about how she's an idiot and force her to hit the like button. You know, it would be a lot more of a shocker if I had her hit the angry button. I'll lobby for her to hit the hate button then while I call her an idiot on the status once I force her to add me as a Facebook friend.

Her permanent exit clause out of this intangible contract is for her to leave that God forsaken church. She can go for postponement by filing another frivolous restraining order on me, but then that's going to make me even more angrier and so I will then put one back on her.

Too Much of a Hassle

I can constantly start talking trash with my anger problems with those involved themselves with people who put restraining order. With the word out now though, they look like a horrible bunch of crazy nuts!

I should practice my shooting rounds now and get accurate with them for just in case they come charging into my home. That's right man, I live as a white-washed Asian citizen in United States.

It's a waste of time for me to constantly create new Facebook accounts just for the sake of bashing them and making fun of them. It looks like one time did the deed already.

Those ugly looking maggots are going to have a super hard time with me going off of them and I will do it so badly that it will look incredibly funny and scary to be a part of for assisting. I think this is where my craziness can appear in that people will support me by just laughing at my weird actions and how I comment the whole time. It's like putting on a show for them, but at the same time, some people will be feeling bad for me.

It's a win-win situation and I think those people are being written off as losers or it's something like that in the making now. I'm going to have some blunders along the way, but if I just stay in shape and plow through then maybe I might come out of this one alive and exit this while feeling happy instead of still with anger issues!

Blocking People On Facebook

Man, I'm so mean in nature. I did a bunch of trash talking to some of the church people who were involved in their restraining order scheme with me. I did it through a bunch of messages that strike the heart.

When I read them, they are extremely aggressive, to the point, honest, and seriously attacking the person's character in a funny manner. I'm clearly expressing my anger problems that I have with them. When I'm saying that I'm going to openly aggressive with them as well, this is where it might actually concern them because I'm going to be actually yelling and blurting out funny comments.

Those comments that I am saying are also hurtful and disrespectful. They are very disparaging and my choice of words are brilliant because it's coming across contrary to someone who deserves a frivolous restraining order. My pain has been exaggerated because each day I am living, I'm starting to just not care what they did to me, but I'm bent on getting back at them. My way of doing this is to just make Lee my Facebook friend. She can represent all the others who fell out with me because of this incident. She's pretty much the ring leader. It would mean my trophy from my hard work of trying to reconcile this matter while playing ultra dirty!

This is what I wrote to Betty Lam: one of my posts talks about I'm going to try flirting with her like a little kid. She ended up ticking me off because I just let out my anger issues I built up with her and talked about how I was going to behave aggressive with her which would put her in a negative light. The whole incident is frivolous and she played the part of the butt head.

You are a butthead and can't let go of things that aren't too serious. You are so stupid and I'm glad I made you fail in life. You don't believe me? Remember the court case, you didn't do anything right. Lee failed to get it extended and I've been all over her. I'm putting one on you too and I did that to Washington. Just put one on me first and give me your address! Just ask how I blocked Lee on Facebook, too. I'm doing the same to you. You deserve it and you suck and next time I see you or call you, I'm going to yell at you directly. You are an ugly moron too. Your boyfriend looks a lot hotter than you. Share that last sentence with him. Boink, easy block-y on a stupid sissy like you.

Little By Little

Might as well just laugh it up in the safest way possible. One of the good things I'm noticing is that plenty of cops are patrolling around my vicinity. All this really does is just make me focus on the road better and not play with my phone's GPS while the cop is looking in my direction while driving. I'm also not trying to speed.

I'm only worried that they won't do their job if stupid Lee the one who put a frivolous, non-domestic violence related restraining order on my butt from being mad about my conduct at her church- yeah long description. I hope Lee doesn't send a hitman  after me because I'm going to be yelling at her to get out all of my venom and anger problems that have been stored up all these years sooner or later.

If she leaves the church, then the joke is on her, but I don't think she's leaving so it's grrrr.

I have to mention again that I wasn't chasing after Lee. In my right mind, I was attracted to another ugly girl there. It's whatever man. When a guy like me hasn't been around too many girls, the first couple you get to know well, they might be like the best girls you've ever met. She came across to me as a decent and very evasive type of person. Anyhow I made fun of her about her maxing out her credit cards and then it somehow led to her blocking me on Facebook. I was like "What's going on?" in an annoying writer's message tone when I sent her message.

She was clearly bothered and she was lying the whole time saying that nothing was wrong with her. I couldn't shout at her to show my anger problems because I'm supposed to be attracted to her ugly body, right?  Anyhow the same feelings didn't amount to with stupid Lee.

Can't Be Too Nice

I've been trying to but I end up just getting angry underneath while fantasizing about stuff from the past. I'm seriously thinking how I should approach it using my right mind instead of just botching it up.

I don't really care anymore that I had two  non-domestic violence restraining orders placed on me. I'm still mad thinking about it, but  I didn't go to jail. I honestly want to just call the former plaintiffs a bunch of idiots repeatedly in a daily fashion to compensate for my anger management.

Yeah I have anger issues about it and can't go do something crazy like walk up to the woman Lee at that church called Hope of God church. I'm too lazy to look them up right now. I was thinking about just closing in while she's terrified of me and then kissing her. I would go to jail for that I know. I'm not going to entertain that thought at all anymore.

I was never in any interest to make Lee my girlfriend in the first place .She ended up putting a frivolous restraining order on me. All those years I stayed away from her, I was just plotting how I was going to get back at her without landing in jail.

Yeah I care to the point of wanting to pursue after something out of them. I want to make Lee my Facebook friend while I'm constantly shouting at her on the days I do decide to relive the horrific event and go up to her. Maybe she'll go for another restraining order, but then again, I'll put one on her back so I can be motivated to not break the law.

Funny To Be With No Girlfriend

Yeah, I was a really weird and inhibited person. I let a few things get to me and when I snapped, I tried to keep myself in check so many times. I threw a Jehovah Witness Bible at a Christian pastor in front of everyone and on stage. He's a hypocrite from being worldly and leads a small church of believers- so what.

Everybody has anger problems so just singling me out for doing something crazy like that isn't going to faze me. There's a reason to all that silly madness.

It's been just a bunch of meaningless and frivolous mix up. Even worldly and non-religious people should be able to drop the whole incident. From talking to them from what I can imply out of the incidents now, I think I can successfully persuade them to let go and end up just being some weird Facebook friends.  I'll just call it settling on a peaceful resolution and maintaining swagger with my personal sense of humor. It's not really that bad with what happens to me, but it seems like what I discuss can cause some lesser individuals to feel a level of panic

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Positive Influences

This blogger has some sites that are noteworthy and successful actually. They are listed on the Noteworthy Blogs list. I myself have led this site into some obscurity and been transcribing personal experiences without spilling all the beans.

My site isn't really all that worthwhile for the masses because it's just so common with what I'm dealing with. I would need a standard that's recognizable with others to model after. Yet, I don't have a desire to be a professional blogger even as a hobby. 

It's amazing to me that I've even had so few visitors come to this site to raise my count indicator. To be at now 35,000 for not having put any work into it means nothing to me. I would probably say something about my style if I did get like millions of views and wasn't really paying a dime for it.


Monday, October 3, 2016

Goal Setting 101

With my feelings always playing an antagonistic role against me, it's going to be tough to persevere but when it has happened to the point that I become naturally flowing with something, it feels really good and relaxing.

Everybody has desires but I feel they become tested all the time. The doubting nature within ourselves would be human nature. It's within this nature that helps me to reconnect with the idea that nothing in this physical world will give us absolute happiness. There will be up and down moments.

It's the obvious and odd nature through giving concentrated effort in keeping that love alive which will result in a continuous beautiful relationship with the significant other. I'm rather the type of person who takes this kind of stuff very seriously. I hope one day God will allow me to swoon the right kind of girl for me and either she or me will begin the chase for a relationship.

I really can't chase after one of my buddies I'm attracted to. It's just ethically wrong for me. She's already dating someone else. Gosh, she says it so smoothly and hides her love agenda with this guy and hasn't revealed any to me. I'm pretty interested in what her love life is like and might actually suggest they settle down too, if it sounds really good. I'm not asking because I don't want any involvement, but won't be mean to her if she does bring up their relationship someday. So far, it seems like it's hanging on the threads of companionship. It seems nice and interesting even though they don't really look like a power couple to me, but I guess that's how it goes.

I'm looking for a woman to form a powerful bond with me that can also influence others in a positive manner. She can be my support and I'll be her man that leads the family into a bright and happy future!

So with these crazy and antagonistic emotions, I'm learning that it's about discipline, commitment, and time management. It's basically just getting stuff done and that's just the basics with leading a successful life. It's hard to do this in a constant manner, but that's what is going to be required to become a billionaire. It needs to be just embedded and become second nature. Overall, that's pretty much my struggle that I'm working at. I desire to reach it and that's what I'm chasing after on a daily basis whenever I can. I wish myself luck and will try to make the right prayers.


Unlucky Oh Well

I guess in life, I haven't been able to form a significant bond with a great lady. It sucks and makes me laugh underneath. I can't do anything about it. I'm not about to drop my standards all the way below, but I do care about inner beauty a whole lot now.

I'm a pretty crazy son of a gun compared to most ladies out there. I'm really wild and prefer to be very active outdoors and do a whole bunch of crazy stuff, even if I were to raise a family. I think what I need is the basics before I can go out and chase after the right woman.

Anyhow, I do admire this one friendly girl and we're pretty good pals. From her relationships, I'm sort of gleaning the struggles they might have and also the good stuff that would help their relationship progress. I'm actively considering the appealing things about them that I would want to bring to the table.

In the meantime, I'm planning on becoming a rich son of a loving and reconciling mother. My family isn't that rich and they try hard and can't give me desirable guidance. I'm lucky enough not to go so crazy that I ended up hurting myself. I did make a lot of common mistakes. I'm barely getting out of them.

Emotional Makeup

What I'm personally noticing for myself now is that my feelings don't really go in hand with my ideal thoughts and beliefs. It's this separation that I'm really struggling with because it feels like something is always trying to tug at me and make me feel guilty to the point of just not being productive.

This anti-energy is rather unexplained depression. I'm sure a lot of people have it and that it's pretty common. The fact that a lot of us mask it or eventually become immune to the point of even forgetting it existed in ourselves is another story.

That's probably the biggest drawback for me and is what is causing me to waste my precious time by doing activities that have more consumer pleasures rather than longer lasting values. I think suffering and maintaining a positive attitude is really a necessary core to overcome obstacles while putting in a great deal of concentration whenever possible.