Monday, June 25, 2018

Been Long Gone

I went on a hiking trip with the girl who I think likes me. I now only think she may like me a little and shows a few signs of thinking I'm dreamy or something. I don't really know but it was just us two hanging out for a week while going on a trip to Canada. It just ended up with us two because it's really hard to get others who are at about our hiking level to enjoy the beautiful scenery with us. 

When my mom asked me if we ended up holding hands, I just started laughing right there. At this point of my old age at 35 and still being single, my mother no longer cares about who I marry as long as I like her. I'm honestly glad that I couldn't put the moves on some girls in the past because I might want to regret that today.

Speaking from a guy's perspective, it's nice to be single sometimes and only sometimes because I can find time to fulfill some more ambitions instead of having to dedicate myself more to spending time with a family. I mean it's not bad and I would love to have it once I've successfully fulfilled my financial dreams. 

It's only natural for people to want to start a family once they have had the best education they can get and enough money to support one. With me being old and still feeling quite young and trying to move around and build muscle while not being quite so mentally active as I used to be ten years ago, I think the only thing my mom worries about is how I'm getting too old to have kids. I'm just not that worried about having them and this bothers my mom. 

I honestly think if my mom really wanted to have grandkids then she shouldn't really have felt that I would do so and go for raising more kids. I'm also a lot shorter in height than the average even though my mom tries to say it's only a little and play it off. I accept my circumstances and it's no worries really. People in the world expect others to look a certain way and if that's something you weren't born with, then there's really nothing you can do about it. I mean it's important for attracting others but if it wasn't gifted to you, then that's really something you can't use and just have to deal with it. I'm totally okay with feeling sad about this girl who I think may like me not really showing those signs anymore and saying I'm just a brother. I just know that I care for her and want her to be happy and it's a great opportunity to me and I just feel blessed to have it. 

I mean she's not a perfect individual, and I have a pretty good idea with the type I would like to marry and she's probably around somewhere and getting picked up already by other lucky guys. I guess it's just fate then and I'll have to see where this close relationship I have with this girl ends up.