Achieving Victory

One of the best things that occurred for me yesterday was how I finally reached VICTORY!!! It's over that stupid incident occurred with a few brats who were just plain crazy kids like I was. They were just a bit worse than I was and I held back so I wanted to go beat them up and I just didn't from knowing I would feel bad and from being tired of not understanding how things are. This is how I got through it without going through therapy. Therapy probably does emphasis these aspects though for a person, but the strongest growth does come from personal effort so I really didn't have to spend a lot of money to hire someone else to help me in this area. It's true I could have got over it faster though with a well-trained professional, but I had special needs I knew he or she wouldn't have been able to meet because of my unwillingness to change back then and also from being too shy.

It's three things put together that are very hard to do, but works in the end. Patience, honesty, and acceptance to the fullest scale. It's scary and can hurt in the beginning but with a little bit of bravery, it doesn't become so bad in the end. I think this is what the spiritual enemy out there wants to prevent everyone from doing. Yet, it's a principle that works and takes you so far. It's like a vehicle that leads the right people to have concern for you.

What happened yesterday was a major great outcome for me! A stupid guy's wife apologized on behalf of the stupid guy for what he did and with all of that humility she put herself through and what I could sense, yeah, I felt so good about it that I don't have to go try ruin the brat's life anymore. It's a major achievement and she really was sensitive to the details I explained to her. I was just being honest and proving to her that I was in control of the situation now and had a hard time getting there. I think she was concerned how I could have been so mad and out to hurt them and at the same time feeling bad about it, so she genuinely said she was sorry. It's tempting to do a me against the world scenario while feeling all violent inside but acting peacefully to enact my charge that can scare other brats who went crazy with me.

I think that's the thing though about me in that I was part of not serious incidents where it got too out of hand with the other person going ballistic. He probably has it repressed out of his head and if I were to bring it up, he would go crazy again and this is where I can start pointing my finger at him and laughing and making a fool out of him and then coaching him to be a better person if I want to or just moving on if he can't handle what I'm doing to him. I didn't have this confidence back then, but now I do so with the apology from someone else close to him, I accept it and don't need one from the brat and can go on with my life peacefully.