It looks like with Poker, I couldn't really turn it around into my winning ways. I just keep on getting bad beats which just means that I was a slight favorite to win the hand before going all-in and then only to get burned at the end. It was like this most of the time, and I just keep on losing my buy-in. I think it's a little too tough to rely on this for stable income, so time to go to Plan B.
I'm going to stick to grinding it out with making myself into a developer and just research on something that might be fun or useful and try selling it on the app marketplace. I think I can make a living off of doing this and going around to network with others and hopefully come up with a nice team to develop with.
It's basically just going to be a lot of grinding and hard work while feeling empty inside and restless, but at the end of the day it's really what I should be doing. I can go relax by having fun with meeting people. I guess I haven't let myself be open to finding a girlfriend, but I know specifically what I want with finding a girl to date, so I'm going to need to be well off with my income and also become more athletic than I am right now. I'm just going to need to keep on building myself for the time being and going after managing it. I might have found somebody now to be with, given that she hasn't lost interest in me and isn't too busy.
I think gambling is always going to be a little part of me now, so I might as well go for playing in a field where I have the most talent and room to grow while enjoying it. I think if I truly enjoyed Poker than I wouldn't have given up by now, but I feel that I have something better to replace it and it's swing trading for me. By getting my mind off of Poker now and whenever I can help it, personal entertainment, I should be dealing with the relative feeling of uneasiness right now. It's just something I know I want to do now and it's also really fun to me, so I think I can handle the pressure now.
