All I can really think about right now is how I could just stay awake by drinking tea or coffee and to keep on trying to minimize on letting myself get carried away with the small things and to just grind away with working on myself, since I'm single and looking to make myself into the ideal guy for the lady of my future! It's true that I have an asexual partner or something like that but it's definitely nothing about ever enjoying sex and I'm not forcing anyone because that's just too much work and if she doesn't like it, I'm going to hate myself too so I'm never going there.
I think if I can find myself a hot girl someday who is single and sexually attracted to me and also a really nice person, then yeah, I think I've found my dream girl to be with. This is what I'm really hoping for and I'm also trying to do something about it, since sitting around crying or losing self-confidence is only for a bunch of sissies!
My theory on these two guys who are friends and how I think one doesn't try hard enough and the other is just a flat-out, dumb loser is that they both practice escapism. They will make a personal grievance about what they want in life, but then let themselves get sucked into something fun to pass off the time. It's practicing escapism and once that session is over and their dark reality hits, it makes them feel sad for not having at least a decent girl to date. I can't really say or do much to help them there. They are adults and they can fend for themselves, so there must be a reason to why they keep doing this same cycle I'm sensing out of them and refusing to break out of it, even if they can't be really obsessed about it like I used to be.
It's probably more rooted in their personality and how they prefer to live their life. Maybe working hard and stressing out isn't something they have in mind with doing, which they feel being in a relationship with a girl might bring. A friend who has a really cool girlfriend sort of has self-confidence issues and feels like he's struggling with her. She's a little different for sure, really sweet and not to mention, she loves me too. I felt a little irritated one time when I took her out for her birthday even though she was having a good time with me. I don't think it translates into me trying to pursue her in the future ever, even though she's like one of the coolest girls I know on this planet!
