I guess I'm finding some bugs in this blog. It has this reloading problem, so it's a little hard to read the text more clearly. I'm pretty surprised that some people were in a warped situation by thinking it was uncool with what I wrote and became so offended with themselves and took it out on me. I'm now in a more bigger situation with this now.
I really don't like writing this, but I think it's good for me to continue doing this until I am satisfied with myself in this area and can come clean for future references. If it's going to affect my future relationships with spouses and marriages, then oh well. I guess I was not cut out for it after all then and I'm not going to complain about it with the loving Father. I'm going to find this absolute spiritual balance one of these days and I know that I'm really close to obtaining it. With this whole porn and masturbation thing, I know that I need to stop it. It does not interfere with my life and I'm having a hard time seeing its health hazard potential with me. I'm just using pornographic material to reach arousal really fast and then masturbating because it feels good. It's like I don't need to feel bad over it, but I know at the same time that it's not a good act of purity and wise spiritual investment.
I think overall I have very big emotions that I allow to be set on overdrive and I just go with it. I need to learn how to use this without being bad in front of facing myself. I know the purest form and I'm smart enough to let it go there. I guess I need to relax when I'm struggling inwardly and just allow God to help me see through it on a permanent basis. I believe that the right action would be to settle down and really think through it now. Despite some of my negative actions, I'm still willing to change.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
