Admitting To My Struggle

This post is also another private post, which I feel really embarrassed writing about. I'm only doing this because it seems like the right thing for me to be honest and to accept the consequences. I think I seriously have a problem that is going to take awhile to recover from. I feel that including the activity of watching porn and masturbating just isn't going to cut it for me anymore. While I was acting it out, I imagined to myself that  sex could be a way of growing more spiritually intimate with the spouse. I know that I'm going to develop this large sex drive with myself all the time, so looks like I'm going to have to just multi-task with other productive things and just accept it as a part of myself. I want to change everything into a normal mode which everything is going to be related to the Bible. I realize that I want to set my sights in growing with Jesus as the master of my life. This means for me allowing this change to take place in my life.