The reason why I placed myself in debt, yes, (DEBT!) is because I failed to take some initiatives and think through things very wisely. My credit report will show that I'm very honest and that I have paid my bills sufficiently on time and that I'm pretty much bailed out right now so that I don't have to worry about my credit rating dropping at a massive rate. I have a lot of courage even though I feel massively weakened by something and when I get to this state of mind where I'm indifferent then I could become a highly dangerous player in any field.
So being in debt is very embarrassing for me, that's what the picture of the monkey represents for me; other than finding some weird photos on Google images. I realize the ones that I wanted to invest my money in are a business, but they are more interested in thriving and won't really care about your success because that's the nature of the business. I see the big picture because I want to be about setting up my own business now. It's easy for people to complain in words and bring down any organization which means power to the people. The products that I thought about are actually really things that could make sense in selling to society and could be legitimatized just that it's very difficult to get to the success track. More often than not, these businesses thrive in making money and that's pretty much not worrying about people's success in most cases. It only makes logical sense to make this conclusion because profit is what drives a business. I learned this in my economic class and it's so awesome to have the privilege of taking it twice with the same teacher for better reinforcement.
The businesses I chose to invest in are pretty much advertising, selling, auditing, and education for a grand total of about 35,000 dollars which when inflated to cover long term loans that just add interest and suck amounts to 49,000 dollars. It honestly ticks me off a little that a not so smart and corrupted individual tries to make fun of me and won't stop annoying me about it. It's forcing me to come to terms with myself and deal with the situation and get out of it without him being of any use to me. It forces me to man up for myself and literally inflict verbal pain back at him which makes me laugh. He just freezes a lot when I say stuff back after he says something. I even sarcastically agree with him which even gets around to me making fun of him again.
In addition to this indirect debt that I have bypassed and can still get by for now and fortunately I don't owe the government a dime for anything right now, I have to deal with my car payments still! It sucks a whole lot to still pay monthly and I just want to get over it now. I'm about half way done with car payments and I should do something about it.
I have noticed a blessing which is that some very pretty young women around my age don't really care about a man's appearance and that they are only looking for compatibility as mentioned by me peeking into their online profiles. I'm not really so sure about establishing a relationship online when I prefer the traditional courting method but it gives me a lot more confidence that someone is out there for me and that I shouldn't resort to dirty convoluted sexual exploits with myself anymore and repent of these dirty desires now. If the highly attractive woman is happy with me in the near future and someone tries to say in private that I look insufficient in any area but the woman remains genuinely happy with me even after the someone talks to the woman about my inefficiencies then I have pretty much met my soul mate and can be happy about having a great companionship and pretty much can think the someone is a weirdo for even making those kind of comments behind my back.
