Carrying Consistency

It looks like my Hot Cheetos eating days are going to need to stop because that's all I do when I get back from work. Sometimes, I just turn on the TV to let myself be depressed from watching high-flying athletes dunk on each other and then high-five their teammates; there's nothing wrong with that, of course. I'm starting to just not care so much about my phobia of being productive. I think I'm going to start timing myself to see if I can improve with getting ready each morning. I do like twenty things to myself to get ready. Let's count them off- one by one as I still remember:

1. Get up.
2. Turn off the alarm.
3. Sometimes sleep about five more minutes and then forget to wake up.
4. Wake up and stand around.
5. Go to the bathroom and take my time sitting there for like 10 minutes.
6. Man, that's gross. Take a shower and clean myself.
7. Wet my face with hot water.
8. Put on shaving cream.
9. Shave.
10. Wash my face with cold water.
11. Rinse with a facial soap.
12. Put some stinging toner on my face using a cosmetic pad.
13. Use another girl product and apply some lotion made out of essential vitamins for the skin.
14. Mix those lotions together and apply all around my face.
15. Put on some sun block.
16. Use a laser band on my hair to try to stimulate growth.
17. If I don't forget, brush my teeth first with an electric toothbrush and paste.
18. If I don't forget, floss my teeth with that water flosser product and clean my teeth some more to remove plague.
19. Rinse my mouth with teeth hardening mouthwash.
20. After brushing my teeth first which wets my face or doing after putting on those girl products that shouldn't be wet by water,  spray my hair with cleaning enzyme.
21. Put on some hair spray.
22. Add some 5% monoxidil (hair growing formula).
23. Change into some new clothes.
24. Pack everything for work.
25. Leave house.
26. Get to work and fly through traffic.
27. Etc. etc. etc. fall asleep at work once in a blue moon and then wake up with natural caffeine!

So this is about my 20 tasks I do every morning. It only like takes me 2 hours to get ready each morning! I want to bring it down to 90 minutes if possible.