Thursday, March 8, 2018

Day 1 of Celibacy

It was obviously easy for me because I had things to keep me busy. Also I went to take a yoga class and there were a lot of great looking female bodies to view especially the teacher's. Just check out her poses, and they were filled with so much energy and it's inspiring in a way to want to surpass her especially from being a guy.

I even saw a few other women there with revealing work out clothes, and I was just thinking to myself, it's the way it is. I honestly didn't care looking at them, and I just couldn't come to think how sleeping with them would even make a difference at this point. It felt like a hassle because of the consequences or responsibilities that could follow after. I think I would like to feel security and have trust in my own loyal spouse and then go for enjoying all of that recreational sex!

Anyways being a dedicated celibate for only one day now was easy. This was right after masturbating to porn the day before I made this choice. It's because I chose to accept my own defeat that I'm not good enough naturally to be a sexual lover. Practicing by myself and using only things in theory from what I pick up from reading other people's experiences, it's actually pretty weird to prepare from looking at porn and masturbating to these sex-crazed individuals while not lusting after them.

I can say that it's easy for me to get out of a porn addiction so coming in and out of it like once every few weeks to months on average, I'd say that I would love to enjoy pleasuring my very own wife now from not being satisfied enough engaging in masturbation. It was just from chasing after something dealing with my personal pride that caused me to go in this direction. I was still nice to the ladies and everybody else though, except for a few who I messaged with a brutally honest but negative critique about them. Yeah, they had that coming and I'm laughing about it because it really doesn't matter to begin with, but it's this principle that I feel they aren't connecting with which causes me to feel frustrations. They just suck period and don't want to make the effort to change, so it's not really my business to see them through and that I should focus more on fixing myself after noticing how those people sucked. I don't think those people will be comfortable anymore coming after me over something that isn't black and white with breaking the law now. I can easily point out how they could be messed up individuals and even with others around them and that could translate to negativity to them and something they would want to run away from with their own selves. Also, I can set up all of this to happen in one natural flow by attacking what they are coming after me about and this time, I'm going to have to research up on the law or be close enough to that and then just attack their principle while also attacking their character and overshadowing them with a full blow, if I feel that fire they are wrong about something and do it out of bravery because I might be losing a friend and have a hard time making peace with them during the recovery stages.

So yeah, I'm actually a pretty bright individual and people who tried to antagonize me over trivial stuff with me even wrote to me or said to me in person that I'm very smart. Those people became frustrated and I dealt with them by writing to them and they are just forced to move on with it now. I can see how I can argue for my case and be looked upon favorably while going for making it look it's not actually black and white through clear hard facts and talk about how they are being crazy or negative and attack their character while justifying it with facts and then coach them on the spot with how to be a better person. It will annoy them for sure and also hurt them a lot if others are around so it's a weapon of defense I could use as an offense over something that bothered me over the past. I really don't care because it's not hard to get over, but I'm spotting something that they are doing wrong and I can deal with them being uncomfortable with me and letting out their frustrations with me now. They obviously don't want to be put in that situation, but I could do it while pointing out how stupid they were and that I'm making them pay for it and to say that they should keep on acting that way, which will probably scare them away from me in advising my own personal problems. I would find relaxation without them being annoying to me, but how I could be that way to them then for laughs. Basically, it's let everything out with full on honesty and be ready to defend yourself physically and to tell them that they aren't being loving people in the end, so they should spend some time off reassessing themselves or acquire counseling over this matter but don't conspire revenge or anything like that with their supporter because I'm ready to turn the page. I naturally love to work on myself even while stuff like this annoys me and to be a great guy to the best of my ability.