I'm starting to realize that watching or paying attention to fun things can actually have proper meaning and its good place in a person's life. It sure is luxury if one can afford it, but I also think that if it's done too much then there's going to be imbalance and cause some depressing issues to worry about later.
I don't know how my friends are unable to motivate themselves to become better. I believe that they do but just burn out or don't bother trying anymore for whatever reason. For myself, I feel this competitive drive within myself to improve daily. It just feels good to get something hard done, and it probably shows because I naturally solve figurative puzzles everyday for my work as a software developer.
I guess it's just a matter of dedicating oneself reasonably before slacking off again and then making plans on how to bounce back. Life can be really so fun and in a way, I realize that I might not have it so bad after all. Despite me being short and my appearances not being the most attractive, I think if you can maintain this still confidence underneath then that's all you really need to not worry about the outer stuff so much. It doesn't even matter how others think or feel about you in that area anymore.
Even though I feel happy pretty much to stay confident with who I am and not so conflict-avoidant anymore, I guess my mind really needed a lot of toughening up for me to find some room for personal happiness and growth. I feel really good about my chances I have with a couple ladies I'm lucky enough to know to be relatively single. Yeah, they are also pretty attractive too and I'm not judging it so much because it looks like I can take their looks for granted sometimes. I'd rather focus on the good inner qualities these ladies possess now.
