Happy New Years Eve

Obviously, I don't really want to be at my computer counting down to the New Year when I could just be celebrating with some good friends or family. Therefore, I'm going to finish off the year with this post now which feels pretty good for me. I've been pretty consistent with this blog that I've managed to now have my goal of an average of one post per day.

One of the funny or cheesy observations I want to make for myself is that I didn't write any common cuss words on this blog for the last 700 posts I've written on this blog. I don't intend on ruining the streak ever and want to keep on going for even longer than my life span if possible. Just hope, no hacker ruins my inner pride of not wanting to cuss with writing.

One of the great things about having a journal to express about practically anything is that I could just keep writing about the same thing over again until I'm satisfied and move on. This is something that bothers some people, especially those who have knack for overreacting a lot. I know from my short experience who these people are- they are the weird people I wrote about this year. I might carry over some written posts about them next year as long as I can remember as accurately as possible and still be blunt.

I remember this one guy on a webinar yesterday claimed that he might make some financial managers sue him for defamation because he revealed a truth about how they make money by taking a piece of your account even if your stocks are losing in value. These weird people I talked about can't really do much because I'm going to be even more straight forward which is probably what they would fear the worst the more they want to do weird stuff to me like try to take me to court over not being able to handle the truth and overreacting.

I'm guessing that even close friends around them might even think it's silly if they take it any further down the road now and would be laughing at some of my truthful comments. Maybe some of the weird people I wrote about might be just lightening up and laughing about it too that they would unanimously consent to not doing anything bad to me. Maybe some of them might be mad and might try to force themselves not to show it with me while they start overreacting with other things but not around me. Who knows?

I'm almost unbeatable to the average person or slightly less intelligent and possibly slightly less well brought up people who aren't really that famous or popular. It doesn't matter if they consider themselves to be a leader over their posse which doesn't really matter and is like trying to conduct social rule. I know how to deal with that which is totally simple to me now.

I actually side with the smart crowd so the smart crowd is actually pretty laid back with me at times. They are the ones who don't really overreact which is a sign of intelligence. I seem to see this vibe with both guys and girls. They're both equally cool to be around and to have fun with. I like some girls who know how to express their insecurity really well with me- I might let them get away with yelling at me once in awhile without really yelling back at them and making them feel bad.

Alright, let's see what I really need to accomplish. I was hindered from developing in my business a little because I had a cold this week, so now after getting enough rest I should be able to sooner or later get back started on it. Oh, I also tried to make some developments on my research potential for this job so I added some more grounds that I could cover. It's only adding up and it's like so much that it feels like I could never finish learning in this field. It's great that I currently have that type of obstacle set up because it's great to make profits and to continuously adjust. This is what I like so far, and I plan on doing this for a career now and I'm going to do it for life. They say that golf is an occupation that never leaves you once you're a professional; trading is the same thing just that it's more flexible.

Yes, no matter how good my theories are with my business; not a lot of people are going to be attracted to it because of their fear of risking too much. It has to be an individual thing to overcome, so I think that no matter how good I become, people are not really going to get so interested in it in general.

What I Will Be Covering Next Year

An area that I believe a person can't be their complete selves with yet until it's been discovered is their sexual identity. The Bible is pretty big on talking about how good sex can really be enjoyed when it isn't being abused. It's going to sound pessimistic if I haven't already because there are some negatives to abusing sex and I don't want to sugar code it with optimism because I need to be honest. That being said, I think I said enough about the truth with sex. Basically, the Bible says to work on a good heterosexual courtship that builds on love and trust which builds into a marriage that introduces sex or good romance for the females for recreation and procreation. All of this isn't said to control people like critics of religion think - haha; it's meant to be said and done because it's absolutely a good thing and recognized by others as good too. Here comes the real challenge that a few people may realize the truth with- what if these good things really came from the heart of an all-knowing and compassionate God?

Like this one Christian author and the many that came after him, I've had to battle with my own sex demons - hehe. I felt too embarrassed to write the truth of what I really did like some cleaning up sex addicts have said and realized. A real danger to never getting out of a rut dealing with lust is rationalizing by saying something like "Oh, I never slept with anyone outside of marriage and never will even though I look at porn and kill myself with masturbation daily." Okay, I will release my own dirt onto the world and have nothing to hide. If the feds thought I was stupid, so be it and let them come take me in to be punished for my wretched mistakes.

I have been rationalizing so much about my sexual fantasies - yeah, I sound crazy just like the rest in the world right? I have preferences which I don't think really matter when it comes to true love and is only shallow at the very heart of the matter. To me, when it comes to being in love and experiencing a healthy relationship, it really doesn't matter who the spouse is as long as you're married to her and very attracted to her.

With my thoughts on Christian principles and daily struggles that I find myself dealing with which connect with people, I could probably write a novel of some sort that just talks about life. It's a good release point for me, and I know how people cuss all the time even those you never thought would like Oprah haha, so I'm personally against expressing myself to the world with cuss words no matter how open it may seem sometimes. When I'm by myself and so stressed out, I don't mean to curse during that point in time. I am a believer of Jesus, so Jesus is not a cuss word. I am also a believer that some will be led to hell, so hell is not a cuss word for me either. I mostly say "Shoot" all the time when I do something bad. So next time, when I'm taking a shoot, it means that I'll be doing something that I don't really want to talk about.

So masturbation is the M-word, no there's something else that's worse. I loved my grandmother by the way, and she was dearly loved by others. My momma is sometimes a little cranky so maybe I wouldn't believe insults about her coming from some "Foos" and homies haha. I would probably want to whack them so hard with a baseball bat like they were a thug, but then again they have a mommy I could talk about too.

I don't really need to cover all that insecure junk about my sexual life haha. I'm pretty much secure in all those areas now and just believe it's just the way of life and there are rules of attraction that just follow through. The thing I would probably need to talk about are the topics of masturbation, porn, and lust on this blog. I plan on being very straight-forward and going to use the Bible as my reference; whatever I can muster and pick up as I go.

Facebook Status

Oh man, this post is going to be so funny to me. If I'm really straight forward with everybody and myself then there's really no stopping me from succeeding at whatever I need to accomplish. I'm just such a logical person when I'm really honest because that's just what signifies me from being a straight forward person.

I don't really care anymore if nobody wants to add me on his or her Facebook. I'm not going to get all ghetto and weird if some weird girl who looks alright says it's her personal decision to not add me and blocks me on Facebook, even though there's a lot going underneath that I think is wrong with her. This person is Annie Tran from Hope of God Church; I seriously don't know if she still goes there and I keep hearing that she's married now from this one friend. I seem to not really care if she is, not like I was going to try to marry her in the first place or even date her. I guess I could sound my whole part in straight forward details and full honest opinions without being shy by not yelling at her if I ever see her again. I just hate it if someone yells at me because I end up making them feel bad and look bad with others around him or her because yelling is such a rude behavior that I take advantage of when someone does it to me. Yelling back, which I usually do, feels good and makes me laugh afterward but I still hate it when someone yells first because they are not playing fair and I will make them look bad. I would prefer a more civilized expression, not like somebody yelling at me is something I could never prevent. As long as I'm being straight forward even when I'm mad, the person is going to look bad if he or she yells at me. I choose to yell second now after someone yells at first and to be honest even while I'm raging with my flaming testosterone- I'm still young and feel very vibrant when in that state of passion. Just hope I never get yelled at by someone like the Queen of England because I'll be bowing to her no matter what she says. 

Okay, so I'm starting to feel like I don't need to get married to have a happy life. I'm like one of those people who might be good at keeping to himself and being very low key with others. I could be giving a few million dollars each year to a non-profit organization I create and help out the needy for reals like the Bible says to, but it's only a few million not like a lot as Bill Gates could donate.

Man, I'm going to start busting out with practicing some martial arts and eventually do some cool gymnastics to complement it. I'm going to keep on making more money on my business because I'm the owner of it and becoming skilled at investing the right way. ***This is going to sound appropriate for mature adults only!*** I'm seriously never going to want to watch porn again and see it because it's totally killing my sex drive. I peaked a few times regrettably and never going to get myself into fornicating with some crazy women. It's their choice to be sinful and not my fault, so I want nothing more to do with this whole porn craze and masturbation now- haha. Beauty shouldn't lie in what's just skin deep and maybe those girls who rely on shallow things like wanting a taller guy can handle others looking down upon them and that those girls who are truly beautiful inside are very sensitive and need to be truly loved by a single good man. In conclusion, I'm open to taking on a good Christian girl now for a wife; just that I am going to have to learn to deal with controlling my sexual desires which are very natural and happen quite often for me.

Need To Pay My Dues

Currently, I'm in this profitable market and still a beginner, I think I'll start learning something on it with enough of a living as long as I keep going at it. I want to be part of this business for a lifetime now because it's really such a cool market to learn about and grow in. It's so cool to have this privilege of being able to anticipate those sweet moments during those certain times.

Obviously, I could give up two years of my life very easily right now by becoming a truck driver just for the sake of it. Haha. Being on the road all the time and making good money obviously because not a lot of people would even like the job. If I become a truck driver, I am going to pretty much use a GPS man because I'm not going to memorize everything on a map. It would be all about making money by keeping my eyes glued on the road and feeling sorry for people who would want to crash into my truck. I wonder if I could install a roadside camcorder like the cops do so I wouldn't really get in trouble for being a professional driver then. Imagine one of these days where this guy who didn't know what he was doing to me was being a jerk to me in my definition, but only enough to make me feel annoyed by him for several months just like those weird men I wrote about. Then, one by one they line up next to my truck and just swerve into me and end up getting really injured to possibly being fatal as well. I would feel sorry for them while submitting all those recordings for family, church members, and officials to look at. Maybe I'll just do a pity donation in that case of just 1 or 2 grand for each guy's family.

I'm sure I could eventually learn to enjoy any job that I'm doing, but the ideal job for me is work that never really tires me and it's something that really fits my boat. I would be a programmer if there were really no deadlines attached to something and plenty of gifted programmers working side by side with me. I do have a programming degree just that being the main guy to do all of that thinking and programming would mean for me that I wouldn't enjoy a lot of sleep which is pretty detrimental for me. I really don't know how those marines and navy seals manage to pass their obstacle course with one week of no sleep; if I would complete those obstacle courses I'm pretty much going to be able to have insomnia whenever I want to without really being fatigued and then I would sign on to be this top gun programmer working for myself.

For right now, I'm really enjoying working for myself and making an earning out of it. I'm pretty much an investor and I am working with the biggest market of them all and at the specific time when all the big transactions happen. It isn't really that easy because some days, the market could do whatever it wants and it takes some practice to be able to eye certain complicated patterns and characteristics. I don't mind doing all this mathematical and computer work because it's what I studied and using it to make money for myself is really being a joy for me now.

Okay, I have to handle two things today. Pretty much need to pay the bills for this one thing and this other thing today. It's taking me awhile to do it because I'm trying to be really cautious in my actions, so I'm being really slow at it right now. Eventually, I'm going to be able to do these things quickly.

Adjusting Life With Personal Considerations

I think this blog is easily going to get overlooked because all that I cover is pretty much being straight-forward. By doing this, it's really helping me to see life as a grown-up. Honesty is better than concealing because that's the way it should be, and it does promote peace because obviously, whose going to in their right state of mind say that they want to harm another individual honestly. I would take self-defense courses, if a person threatened me like that and he really meant it- haha; it would also help me protect my girl too haha. I'm not sure how tall I stand and I haven't really looked it up because feelings about my height make me feel unstable so I try to ignore it while doing yoga to try to strengthen my back a little. Feeling like I have a stretched and stronger backbone makes me feel taller and gives me the confidence I want to personally find from being a taller person.

Honestly, even for being a short person, I'm pretty lucky in that I'm stocky and potentially naturally well-built that I could probably find a soul mate whose about 3 inches taller than me. That would mean that it would cover the majority of women in the world with my dating pool which isn't that bad for me, so I don't know what I've been feeling sad about back then. I have body parts except for my average hands and overall height all around that are slightly above average the national length of about a 5' 9" male. If you don't believe me, then just come take a look at me more closely. Because of these large and thick parts, I feel like I'm more glued to the earth's surface sometimes- haha.

With my line of work, there's so much information on it and so many ways of going about it that a person wouldn't be able to keep up and know how to use it if I covered all the complicated theories on this blog. I do have a personal journal where I log in all my business habits which might also be difficult for a person who isn't interested in my field. Yet, I am interested and having fun because it's my own personality that I'm working with. It's also hard for me to look at other people's notes on my business and not feel bored at times. It's exciting because I'm personally engaging in this behavior and learning something that is a consistently profit generating business.

I've found through some honest videos from poker pros that the field is very streaky meaning that one person could keep on winning and another could keep losing no matter how good the person is. There are obviously pros who know how to manage their bets with simple principles and minimize losses while making acceptable gains. For myself, I find it too unacceptable to put faith on having too many losses so I guess poker is not really for me generally speaking. Amongst friendly competition and to have fun, a little bit doesn't hurt to entertain myself so my game is pretty good from making millions of dollars of fake money in poker, so just playing for a real dollar is something I can't take seriously anymore.

Therefore, after analyzing my times of poker playing for real money, I've decided to not really go back into it and become serious about it because I feel too uncomfortable with poker. I have found another means to make good money which could have better odds stacked in your favor at all times- investing in a trillion dollar market: foreign currency exchange. For this market, I see potential in that it could eventually make me any amount of profit that I desire, and I feel really comfortable in it so it's like my pot of gold that I became fortunate with. I'm also contributing to the economic health of capitalism and about giving back what I earn to the needy, so it's a win-win situation with this job that I'm doing.

Hard Work

Basically, right now I really want to be about giving it all I've got. Whenever I'm at my computer, I get these cravings of busting out with a game and just start playing it for hours. I still have them after all these years of playing video games! I guess I just really like playing video games then so I'm going to have to work against it for awhile now because I really want to focus on having something that could support me.

There are other things I want to try out besides just playing video games. I believe it's probably better for me to not really watch television or play video games as much as possible for me for right now. I really need to focus on disciplining myself with this business that I want to be a part of.

It's really humbling for me to have a business. I'm sure there are a lot more productive things I could try out besides just playing games and would contribute to a lot of fun. Possibly the rewarding nature of work could be those moments on vacation or really hanging out with some good friends. I'm pretty much shaping up now because I really desire to get there without really giving up. I guess a new methodology for me to gain is resiliency.

I guess I don't take it too seriously if a girl wants to reject my advances haha- I wouldn't really mind if she wanted to be with someone else. I'm about being loving, caring, and supporting and all of that good stuff a girl would want haha; maybe, she wouldn't really be the right person for me after all. 

For me these feelings of playing video games is so strong and my desire is that I don't want to, that I sometimes have to take a break and meditate on good things. My age also feels like it could creep up to me any day, so I really need to keep that into consideration about my future. Ultimately, whatever people say and do to me to try to influence me into their thinking, I'm still going to be me in the end and really rely on the good Lord as my main direction; it's a good thing I'm starting to know what I'm laughing about dealing with people who just can't seem to be perfect with me while they think they know more than me.

Merry Christmas!

Right now, my mind just needs to be really productive. About this whole people relations thing, I think I have it down for myself now. I realize that I was sort of trying to leave myself out of the equation. It's a really hard thing to do and I guess I was just interested in getting to know more about people back then because of my indirect approach. I realize that everything I've done in the past is really me doing things and that I just gave a lot of effort back then, regardless of my situation. I didn't know fully what I really wanted for myself until recently from finally getting to know myself.

It's been a journey; it was literally a spiritual battle that I was going through- coming out of it took some time because I believe that the Holy Spirit was encouraging me to follow through with the perfect timing of the Lord.

I'm pretty much ready to begin a pretty good relationship regarding my significant other. It would be a lot of good stuff while getting through some rocky periods- haha. I've been having a really hard time redirecting some of my passions to other endeavors which I've felt would be good for me. It just doesn't work like the movies or T.V. shows where you get the grasp of something right away sometimes- the work you do could also feel dull sometimes. Brainstorming an idea, I feel that I need to be more patient in my valiant efforts now while consistently adjusting myself to work smarter.

Obviously, playing video games are things that I've put some time into to have a considerable amount of success against other users. The time that goes into playing a game would be pretty flattering to me, if I really invented that game. I believe that I'm having this inner battle with myself in desiring things with an entrepreneurial mindset while doing something entertaining that others would not mind engaging in. 

Thoughts of Charity is Motivating Me To Work Harder

I have this passion to help others in need because it feels so good to give away extra change to help out the needy- the ones who truly need it because they are not the ones who are in fault for a situation. I'm thinking the change I throw out could range in the millions of dollars someday. I'm thinking about organizing a non-profit organization just for the sake of helping others and it's mainly going to be funded by me- probably about 10% of my income. I'm thinking that the business I'm doing is such a lucrative field for me that I could seriously be racking up a lot of money. I want to give back what I earned to God because I am considerably fortunate to have this mind that is capable and has preference of systematically finding ways to conveniently generate profit with minimal contact to people, in other words the people get something from me as free as possible while I reap so much in profit. What would you expect? I'm mathematically inclined and a computer scientist with parents who specialized in a profitable business, which I'm not a part of but I gained some experience from their teachings.

I'm thinking about tying in my non-profit organization with a good church. I'm interested in funding churches that are built overseas- I also want to help out medical workers who are inspired by God to care for the poor and sick. If my system works out, then I'll definitely accept further donations with 100% of proceeds going to fund these types of adventures. The expenses and pay going out to workers will be covered by my donations, maybe ranging to a couple million a year, so it will be my way of giving back to God with all the earnings I make. I might give young people a chance to grow in their career by literally giving them a chance to help others out through their generous contributions of putting time into something- I would probably pay them minimum wage and hire a pretty under-rated director who could sure use a few years of experience under her belt before moving up the ladder. I'm thinking about paying the professional in the range of 45 - 50 K to manage assets that go overseas to help people financially. I might just be a knock off version of World Vision, but I'm not in the mood for competing- I want to donate a lot of money with my own personality in it. I'll probably be the main benefactor of this charity for awhile because I believe my assets will keep growing to the point that I'll always have money to spare. I'm pretty much a giver- I remember hearing about a young girl's idea with Christmas Operation Shoebox; I really like that idea and would want to be part of the spirit that gives gifts during the Christmas season.

My business style is very highly logical and systematic with a lot of fast results that cause money to pour in with minimal contact to people. I'm about being a win-win situation and not really competitive with other peers- if I standardize something in my industry, then yes I'm going to try to take some profit off of it.
Overall, if this whole system works out- I'm going to set up a will that makes those funds untouchable and that this legacy of helping to build God's kingdom will live on. I'm not just about all that church and religious stuff- I want to literally help out others who are in pain and could sure use some medical help and that they are outside this country. I'm someone who grew up with a desire to become a doctor, not a corrupted one- I actually struggled with these ideas before moving on to the business that I'm doing today. I may even fund my ticket to becoming a practicing doctor someday, or maybe I could live it out if God blesses me with a child who has those qualities.  

Christmas Eve

Aside from me not paying rent so far because of my parent's grace, I'm going to start paying them rent eventually. Right now, I'm really not asking them for any money as I still work and figure out how I'm going to make enough to support myself right now. I do have luck because I have what I'm looking for, which is being able to stay home and work on something that I really want to do. I have some income from having figured out where I should invest and it's been bringing in some income to support me.

When I have enough that a regular person makes, then I will start figuring out my taxes and all of that mess which I hired someone to do for me so that I wouldn't get in trouble with the law. That's a good thing because it will save me a lot of time while I'm pretty much in charge of my own business right now; I do remember the girl I write about occasionally and labeled her as being part of the weird group from Hope of God Church, L.A. (long introduction needed)- Annie Tran basically was doing her taxes and it looked really tedious enough that I could get a migraine from the thought of having to manage how much I would owe the government and what I would get back in return.

It's sort of cool to have a "weird group" that I could write about to liberate myself and express things about them to hopefully gain a better understanding. At the same time, I'm being truthful. Oh yeah, they placed their signatures on this piece of paper that didn't even have a line for signing. I didn't sign their papers individually so I never really agreed to whatever junk they wanted me to do. I think it would be a compromise of my identity security if I signed my real signature about 8 times and they all had an ideal copy of my signature. Oh yeah, my favorite signature is from Betty because I'm not even counting her in the group. She's going to be like a friend to me or that's what I want and it's really reasonable on the long run because I have a very confident understanding of her now with the few years I got to know her; we hung out too which was fun and she seemed nice enough. I mainly added in Chai, Bae (haha, bubba sheep), and F. Chick (not a real moniker, something I invented and might never get there with people who know him and because of his characteristics); their signatures are not part of that fake contract they failed to communicate with me and were just finding excuses to take the easy way out.

One of my main goals right now is to limit the amount of time I play video games. Yes, a lot of those games are so fun and addicting that I could spend 12 hours and forget that I even had a life to begin with. It's pretty foolish, and I would say it's not that bad to keep your mind engaged with something when you are young. It's sort of like analyzing a book just that your hands and eyes are doing something practically every second. Yeah, it gets sort of hard to play video games forever if you don't have the passion because it is relatively a difficult thing to do.

It's like being a pupil of the master- your own video game which you hired. Haha. I'm just making jokes about about my truthful life. Playing video games kept me out of trouble and from doing drugs because drugs would make me stink at playing video games- haha. I would hate SPEED the worst- don't want to be so hyperactive when you have to slow down your character in a level that requires slowing down. Being stoned would mean that my character would keep dying if I had a partner who was betting against me and I would repeat the process over and over by inventing some stupid and hallucinated story involving my money running away from me with me laughing so hard about it.

Overall, I believe that video games in moderation is not a bad deal. I'm going to start buying myself a dance pad sooner or later for the Wii or Playstation and start working out with doing some moves for fun. I also asked Annie (the one I'm writing about) one time since she was a cheerleader (don't know if she was head cheerleader) if she knew how to coordinate dance moves- the reason for asking is because I wanted to create a Christian DDR for fun and possibly try to create moves that came from famous Christian artists like Switchfoot. She declined because I think she was too discombobulated about her life, meaning she was acting weird in person with me while she was going through with something. Maybe she thought the impossible would result from that- me asking her out? Nah, I'm not interested in her anymore. In the beginning, I was attracted to her but then again thinking about her behavior and preferences, I'm like looks don't matter to me. Betty felt she wasn't that good looking and I guess by me stating that I'm pursuing a friendly relationship with her, it should make me look good with others around the weird group who started this whole mess with me. Annie's also considered to be not the best looking girl according to some statistics haha so maybe I was naturally attracted to her because it felt fitting to me to go after her. Because of the former attraction, I was capable of paying attention to her and remembering stuff about her- boy, she really irritated me with some of the things she did. I'm really glad it didn't become that serious. In conclusion to this whole creating my own Christian DDR for laughs and possibly from hacking the machine so I can't really sell it without permission; I'll get this other girl I know who seems capable of doing it for fun with me.

To summarize this whole addicting post meaning it might make you laugh, I need to limit my game playing time. I need to spend more time in the field that I'm currently driving a business in by learning all the ends that will make me successful- even during the slow and fast times. A slow period is like a 50% growth still if you know what you're doing and can be pretty common. A fast period is like a 1000% growth which is making my mouth salivating with all the delicious food I can buy from the profit- of course I have to run the Iron Man Challenge eventually because that's part of my goal to burn off all that fat.

Done For The Week

Man, this business I'm in- yeah, trading in the Forex market right now is really a good one. Right now, we're supposed to be on vacation all over the world. Boy, no other business in the world would recognize taking a holiday for the good Lord. Haha- just joking, it's on technicality that the 25th of the last month is pretty much a time where the big international banks and governments go on a holiday. Therefore, there is really no trading volume which would encourage money to be made if you were in it.

I chose a really good field to play in, and I'm seriously loving it. I want to put my main focus on this one still until I can generate enough cash flow consistently on a month-by-month basis before I try to tackle bigger fish to fry- that is, if I'm not already putting food on the table by trading in the world's largest financial liquidated market. Life is good being a successful trader, and I don't mind passing on my knowledge to good folk who are out there, later.

Oh yeah, to end things on a happy note. The people over at Hope of God Church, Los Angeles who gave me problems didn't conduct things with absolute honesty- they weren't even close to the truth when they kicked me out of a small church. hahaha They pretty much didn't follow the rules very properly so that makes them a bunch of losers- just like the people who are in jail who didn't follow the rules. They did not have any stroke of genius, and I sort of did because I've been following the rules and being careful about not breaking any laws and I still have what I wanted in the end.  NOTE: They were about taking the easy way out!  Once again, I'm reiterating that Betty Lam doesn't belong in the bad and highly weird group I wrote about anymore. Betty is sort of a normal girl who just has her way of venting about life, and she's isn't that hard to calm down if she complains about something with you. Well, at least for me that is- I don't know about others. Haha.  No need to argue, just point to the truth; I also like to add in many jokes when possible to make it more fun for the People! Any questions? Who are the people I'm laughing at? Well, let's just say it took awhile and some patience to finally get to that point.

Christmas Is Fast Approaching!

Christmas time is coming and I believe that a lot of people are pretty busy with shopping and on break right now which is a good thing. I am really in a situation right now where I have to pretty much sweat out bullets. I'm becoming more serious about my professional demeanor. I have really chose a career that matches my personality and preferences, and I believe that I am very lucky to be coming along. I want to continue to work hard and be coming to a point where I'll be really successful.

I believe it would honestly be pretty cool to have my own website and update it with some cool information that I could share with others if they want it. I guess I don't want to get too personal about myself with others and make a living out of that. Haha.

Maybe I should really switch over my perspective from taking people's money to making a business of really genuinely helping people and make it free as possible! It's just about making a contribution. Ever since I've started my business, I've kept on pushing myself to move forward and plan to be the same way for a lifetime now. For right now, it shouldn't be about chasing after the money- it needs to be about me being successful at what I am born to do!

I believe that I have the necessary qualities to be an investor- I would like to pick up on different things here and there on things that interest me, even if I'm not good at it so that I can be more appreciative of the good stuff that people create or do. Being a trader isn't really about selling things to people, it's about exchanging your money for profit. It also requires being able to handle a lot of complicated tasks and refining techniques over the course of the trader's career. The biggest obstacle is being able to manage financial risk properly. In my opinion, that's probably the biggest fear that keeps an average person from trading in the Forex market. It is ideally a good place to start if a person really doesn't want to deal with selling things to people and wants to work for themselves and is pretty computer savvy. There are also obviously less direct ways of selling products to people to help ease the pressure.

First thing's first, I believe that I am made to be a trader because I feel the excitement of analyzing a trending market with proven skills that were sharpened from practice and to do it in a routinely fashion. I'm going to stick to mastering the Forex market until I'm set in it financially. I'm not going to focus on getting any other job because I can't afford the distractions. I want to set my mind to mastering it enough to be able to make a decent living off of it before moving onto other entrepreneurial projects. Once I'm set, I will be ready. I will also have a completely new life by then- my goal is to be ready for a new improved change by 2013. I really don't think the world is going to end in 2012- not with how the world is developing still. Quite frankly, things could change in the world at any second that would set the position of our civilization to its demise so money wouldn't even matter anymore! 

Overall, I believe that owning a business is mainly about being able to handle the pressures of managing risk and growing in skill. These are the same qualities that a person can find if he or she decides to go into investing, which has a good potential for gaining profit such as growing capital to make a bigger paycheck. It simply needs to attract the person and of course, people are entitled to their own opinion about it and is allowed to stay away from investing if they are not interested.

FAQ About My Job

Right now, I'm pretty much researching on the currencies that would be the most profitable for my business. I might have to be an early bird instead of a night owl to make the most out of what I'm doing for now. The beginning phases are pretty much about getting started and looking for the most profitable areas and has the most common sense dealing with it. If I get really good at it, then I could possibly shift my hours around and make it even more flexible for myself if I wanted to. Friends have asked some FAQ about my job. I guess I'll do sort of a favor on this blog to the readers by answering them.

Q: What do I do?
A: I am a currency trader. Have you ever heard of the Foreign Exchange market? It deals with money exchange rates.

Q: Did you go to school for it? / How did you get into it?
A: I learned to do it on my own by researching about it and found that it's something that I like doing. To be successful at a job, you first have to really enjoy the field you are getting into. Making money for this business is about selling and buying currency to make money.

Q: Is it risky? / Are you putting your own money into it?
A: I am using my own money right now to make profit. Some companies let you invest with theirs, but why do that if you are good at this and can keep all the profit for yourself. If you know what you are doing, then you are ahead of 95% of the traders. The majority of people don't really know what they're getting into with this market so they are like all over the place. If you just jump right in with no real knowledge, you will lose everything in a jiffy. You can use a demo account (no money, just practice) to hone your skills in this market. This market is pretty big with not a lot of people really into it because it's mainly about skill- just like the market for chess players.

Q: When you get rich, will you remember me?
A: Yes. I will treat you out.
Q: You'll do everything, like pay for my expensive trip and buy me food?
A: Okay, I don't mind.
Q: (I'm going to take advantage of you.)
A: ...

Surviving Through Boredom

This is just another fun post I'm creating for myself. I'm not necessarily bored every time I write that I would just kick it up a notch by writing about some weird people again, like that Hope of God Church at Los Angeles I keep writing about. It's starting to get really old for me and now I'm laughing about it like I don't really care what they did to me. They put me through some trouble obviously, so I had something to think about through my boredom originally and to laugh about. For myself, I generally accept my conclusion as the canon version now because it seems like they shut off from the world ever since I've been leaning more to the truth whether it pained me or not.

It's still good times, regardless of how they felt with me; in the long run, I don't care how bad they were with me- they were just being their selfish selves and needed something to see where they could grow and learn from. I seriously question their validity in the area of Biblical faith now too because they seem to rely more heavily on doctrine created by someone which has a room for error and may be affiliated with dividing God's people up. No wonder why, even though I took notes and went to their leadership seminars all the way over at Washington (haha) things just didn't seem to add up spiritually for me. Jarred Taing of the the same church always talked about things not adding up with me when I tried to get through to him multiple times, and he was being so weird while he didn't know it with me.  Chris Kuch had a funny way of expressing his anger because he would talk so soft and express so much bitter resentment like I was a rivalry in his speech with his words and his facial expressions- it's very classic!

Overall, all of these events had to happen in my life for me to learn to accept that some people don't know what they are really doing even though they claim that they do- they're just living through a fallacious hope. Jesus is a real hope though because if one would research it, he or she would be highly inclined to notice change into better morale and happiness with the same result but could excuse it as being ignorant. I don't think so- being a law abiding citizen and very giving and a driving force that others look up to because of this powerful faith in Christ is something one would need to recognize. Some have fought it unsuccessfully with jealousy because many more seem to reappear in place after one person who fits the description gets murdered. Haha.

One Last Post Before I'm Off To Vacation

Okay, I'm going to be gone for awhile so I'm just writing as much as I can on this blog because I want to keep up with the 365 posts / year deal. I want to average 1 post / day. It will mean something to me. I guess that's not really dedicated because just 1 post of writing everyday means not really that much.

I am obviously getting really close as one can see to my goal of 365 for this year alone. I guess I'll have something to celebrate about at New Years Day because I'm going to be talking about how wonderful New Years Day is instead of what I feel about my writing. 

Obviously, I did make some developments in my writing trend so it was pretty good to keep this thing going. I even found a reason to get someone (Betty Lam of Hope of God Church L.A.) off that weird people list I invented, and I did mention real names with a real place hoping they would get enough exposure from my writing. Like they are a super political power whose going to act like a mafia because they can't even if they wanted to with me now. They were actually weird though, and a lot of that can be justified by covering some Bible verses that they use and try to make meaning out of.

I get so much credibility and they don't. I benefit and they lose something. It was an exchange for something better on my end. I can live with it for the rest of my life; I chose to forgive them awhile go completely, so writing about it is giving me more experience while I'm away from them- this is how I'm developing and getting a more balanced assertion for myself with others who are weird just like them. I'm probably going to laugh a lot more now when people act weird like that with me now in the future- I'll obviously still choose to be nice out of my willingness to submit to what Christ would want for me to do.

I'm definitely ready and I can see how F. Chick (Carlos Julio Rojas) hahaha joins in with the weird crowd because he likes to associate with them really well. This is what I really don't mind now and can laugh about. I have a new person to add onto the weird list; he's F. Chick which stands for failure chicken. He's been going to that weird church and is going to contribute pretty badly for them on the long run and influence new people to not really come because of his unsaved character which he wants to hang on to forever. In a way, if I can't be the good person who bonded and loved some people there dearly because of these weird people, then it should be made known of their faults while I'm away. They are pretty much like a weed that can't be pulled off the lawn because they planted their foot and claimed their spot. F. Chick is just a play on nickname I created for him. A friend who knows F. Chick really well says that sounds like a porn star's name or something weird like that; anyway, it's stuck with me still ever since. I really think it fits him pretty well. If F. Chick was a girl, he would get an F for his effort in being a graceful person. By the way, I'm the one who introduced and encouraged F. Chick to keep going to that weird church; I am happy to do the world a service for making it a better place and hopefully that's what happened. The event that happened which caused this rift is an anomaly in which they couldn't let go of everything as I went up to try to appease their anger which they had trouble getting rid of. I really could have forced them to not get angry with me if I wanted to, but I chose to take the respectful approach which they selfishly refused. I reiterate that I forgive them for their mistake that really puts their church off the People's Map! Haha.

Planning Vacation So Writing More

It's funny because this blog is where I can write about any random subject and just keep on going forever with relevant details. This is what I've managed to formulate naturally in my head from doing so much writing; basically writing about anything that's going on my head everyday and being fully straight-forward with the world on this blog.

I'm going to take off tomorrow with some friends and have a lot of fun for some winter break. It should be a nice and fun event to mess around with friends and just kick it with some laughs. I don't seem to really mind the trouble anymore in girls like Annie Tran (Hope of God Church, L.A.) haha making me feel offended because she acted weird about not wanting to add me on her Facebook. She and I know each other, and she claimed that I didn't anything wrong to her, so she's just being weird because my other friends added me on Facebook. Haha. This whole Facebook thing is really nothing to get all cranky about because it's not hard for me to see that Annie was just having a hard time with me and sort of relating something with me because she's just like that with people sometimes.

The strangest part was that I was attracted to Annie; now that I think about it, I'm like what was I thinking(?) I'm really glad that strangeness I felt with her is over and that it will be easy for me to communicate with her, by probably laughing at her half the time. About Betty at the same church, I sort of mentioned about chasing after her but really didn't feel it in my heart to do it. These are two opposites and how I responded with these two different women. I'm definitely leaving out Betty even though I include Annie still in the pack of immature wolves (they are a bunch of babies).

A relationship is like a commitment; obviously, T.V. shows might make good money with the husband not listening to the wife and doing something that makes her mad and then they make up in the end because the husband learned a valuable lesson. Haha. Likewise, I was pretending to be good with Betty and looks like I did all right in the end.

I pretty much need to stick to my confidence of not living in sin anymore. I'm supposed to be new and fresh under the Lord's guidance; I should be doing what pleases Jesus. 

Being Led In Spirit

I wish to have a completely blameless life, apart from doing others a disservice. Conflict is definitely one thing for me which I enjoy laughing about now and not out of scorn. I want to be laughing with others still, and the Bible that I'm reading everyday is like food for me to grow spiritually. It talks about having a pure heart and being under grace with the love of Christ living in us.

I wish to be proper, self-disciplined, and under self-control now and living away from sins. It's really funny for me now to realize how some people at the weird church (Hope of God Church, L.A.) were overreacting with me. However, there were some really attractive people there who I enjoyed being friends with; they are like a dime in a dozen.

Betty Lam at the same church is someone I keep writing about nicely because I want her to not be really influenced by the foolishness of those so-called self-claimed leaders. I believe they were not walking in the spirit of God at the time they were seeking to be like my rivals. They as a whole were still babies in Christ and groaning about life at the church not being good enough; they were pretty much too greedy about getting the good stuff which makes things more funny now that I think about it. They were the ones who really caused the real division among brethren; fortunately, I didn't extend their division among God's people any further and tried my best to absorb it while doing something groundbreaking to me- living in agony knowing where they were being wrong and still trying to show them love, comfort, and kindness. I added a new line of something that's revolutionary to me- forgiving them whole and willing to forget. These names are the same people I've written about over and over again; just that I'm leaving out Betty in my logical grouping now. I wish to be a Biblical Christian because I want the love of Christ to consume me. I remember Annie Tran at the same church saying that you don't really forget when you forgive someone for a sin, and they called her a leader; in a state of being a disciple of Christ, one would say "Ouch!" The Bible is really tantamount about God blotting out our sins in the love of Christ; this is the power that transforms even believers. That's right, believers don't stop growing once they accept Jesus into their lives.

Did Something Stupid

I have to put up a vow because I'm pretty much too smart for myself sometimes. My mind about a decision becomes really strong and a routine after it passes a series of trials and painful experiences. I realize I wouldn't want to have it any other way now and that I want to seriously live my life for Jesus now.

I believe it would be immoral to discuss about what I did wrong on this blog because of the nature of the sin and how it could lead others to fall if I were to explain what I did and the mentality I was feeling. Therefore, I choose to refrain from letting it be known what I did that I felt was stupid. I choose to confess this sin and now live in suffering and agony to know that I will get out of these situations by simply turning my life over to God.

I have to keep myself from getting too prideful. That is one of those areas where it could be a pitfall for me; obviously, I'm pretty good at forcing others to feel humbled with themselves if I wanted them to feel that way. For myself, I need to stay humble because it is really key for me. I want to voluntarily humble myself and not force others to do it unless they are getting too carried away and it would be good for them to come to terms with themselves about a situation they want to feel prideful about to distract themselves with some certain pain in their life. I know the person who I am going to do this too eventually and I'm not going to feel weird about it at all and totally confident with what I'm going to execute. It's seriously a good thing that I'm willing to laugh at those types of obstacles now. I think overall I'm doing the right thing with what I'm mentioning, if I truly live up to what I wrote now.

Need To Stop Being Lazy

Everything is coming together for me right now, no matter what others are saying to me to criticize me. It seems like I do have interest in coming back to check out how that weird church is doing. Haha. That's why I'm just doing my confidence thing with just saying anything that would pertain to them not being able to do anything and where I would be laughing at them eventually. Man, I'm feeling so healthy about how others would end up treating me, regardless of if it's good or bad or if the reason is because I'm ugly and short to them or not. Haha.

I seriously need to keep a focused mind now, and the energy that I'm getting from doing what I like doing for a living is actually good for me. I really need to be more diligent in this area and really try even harder. I shouldn't give up now and just keep going at it.

I'm enjoying this free online game which has a lot of people playing it daily- it's really fun and sort of helps give off the distraction of feeling really bored and lonely, but it's not the ideal thing that I want so I should limit it as best as I can. I should seriously go for what I want and stick to it even though things get really hard and stressful sometimes. This is something that I need to really try now.

I'm going to try my best to do fun and practical things, no matter how hard things get difficult for me now. My psyche is doing pretty well right now, and I want to pay attention to not learning something that's like nonsense to me now. I have lived pretty much open with this whole idea of what I want to do for a living, and now I'm ready to close in on what I really want to do. By doing this, I'll just practically be able to pick up anything I need on the go which I have faith in myself with the ability to do now.

If I get really bored and others are not really in the mood for doing anything, I'm going to work on trying to program on my computer then instead of really playing games that sort of bother my mom.

Need Better Hygenie and Winter Break Plans

I need to try to take a shower at least once a day because I sort of work out everyday and I will smell, according to the women in the family. I'm finding it also hard to keep up with my goal of brushing my teeth twice a day; I'm managing to do it but skip one because I'm too tired to do it and fall asleep.

I'm trying to stay up until 1 am - pretty much because I'm taking care of business Sun night-Thurs. Fri to Sunday evening are pretty much my off hours. Oh, I also have lots of time during the week too just that I'm spending it to research on making business go better. I have managed to set up a journal now on my computer; today I logged over 8 posts with screen shots and know there will be more coming because I have a preference to be an aggressive trader. All of my trades were winners today which is not bad. I'm going to keep using my journal and even log about the bad moments that happen so I can learn from them and hopefully minimize them in the end.

I've been offered to go snow boarding with a group of friends- I'm a pretty avid snowboarder now, so I think I should buy a board to go have some fun sooner or later. Man, I also feel like I could marry a partner I dearly love too. Guess what, I think being rejected by a girl is actually funny to me and it doesn't disappoint me at all now; I seem to be comfortable still about it, unlike this one selfish guy I know who can't seem to handle himself very well and complains about himself too very transparently. He pretty much can't be pleased, no matter what you do, on the long run so I need to just give him more space right now. I'm actually laughing at his negativity with me now too but I'm not saying anything to him still. I plan on being this way because I have a good reason dealing with that oddball church (Hope of God Church) I described about.

Looks like I'm seriously ready to raise a family now. I'm really short too haha, and it doesn't seem to bother most of the girls I have ever communicated with as friends. I guess it really doesn't matter to stand shorter than a woman, even though it hurts my pride a little. I actually can make an average taller woman look reasonably smaller than me still because of my stocky features even though I'm pretty short- haha. I'm also trying to stretch out my back with yoga because some of my research showed that the average back is a little crooked and will help you stand at least 1/2 inch taller if you stretch it out. 1/2 inch is better than nothing and a friend has told me that I look taller; I've even looked at myself and feel like I've been getting a little more leaner and lankier. Man, I don't care if people don't really believe me too about not being able to get taller. Haha.

I know I'll be happy supporting a good woman- I'll be considerably young too if I get married now and it's a good time to enjoy love for me, so it looks like I'll have to be brave enough to not whine to myself about being so short if the future wife is willing to go all the way with me on the altar haha. I'll have to smile eventually if she's going to wear high heels anyway - haha. I guess that moment of exchanging public vows will be over sooner or later and then the pressure of feeling short should feel off I hope. I might still try to do more yoga on my back then.   

Personal Business Update

I've been doing pretty well with my business so far, and some of my friends have thought about joining my field of Forex Trading already. Based upon the results and amount of time I've spent, they have expressed mainly interest in it because of the money it can generate. I'm a little hesitant to help them get started because it's a difficult road to travel in and requires a lot of effort. I also don't know really that much yet about it and am still working on it. Of course, I've been pretty lucky so far and so luck just isn't enough for me to make a career out of teaching others to succeed in this market.

If I have all the tools and seriously know what's it all about then I'm sure I could teach them and maybe even become business partners with them. I also want to weed out the ones who are just in it for the money; I would want to teach someone whose really committed to learning this market. It's all dandy saying that one is interested and putting some effort into researching it everyday but conducting real trades isn't that easy. Right now, I'm just going to let friends know what I do and will answer questions to the best of my abilities if they want to. I don't mind summarizing some things and helping very smart and passionate people working on this market.

They say that creating a business journal would be a huge benefit to a trader's career because it would log everything that happened- all winners and losers. It would also log down any potential trades that were missed and maybe those could be looked at later.

I really see the amount of profit that I could potentially generate with my business passions- I guess I could consider myself lucky there for having such a high interest with a potentially very rewarding career, along with all the free time that gets associated with it. The best advice I can currently give for career-minded people is to pick a field that you absolutely love and wouldn't mind doing for the rest of your life- I know how hard doing this decision making can be because I've been there. For example, I know some friends who are teachers; wow, that requires a lot of sacrifice and is really about inspiring others to succeed in the field they teach- that is a very valuable commodity to offer the world. Furthermore, if these teachers are in it because they absolutely love it then it's an even more wonderful blessing they give to this world.

In making decisions about jobs, I would have to say to rule out how much money it makes because doing it for the money feels so cold, and I hope the reader understands what I mean. Whether a person becomes a respectable lawyer or doctor or any other respectable position in society, I wouldn't want to force a child to not go down a path he absolutely has a calling for. Satisfaction is absolutely something that is hard to obtain for some people, and let's take for an example- they even make movies about people killing off others to steal their position, out of selfish motives dealing with wanting recognition, more money, or jealousy. Well, good luck with me because all this knowledge is stored in my head and I wouldn't mind sharing it if I knew so much about it because I'm constantly still learning and trying to find the secrets that literally generate money. Who knows, what I'm doing may not even be for the reader.

Having Passion To Succeed

Blogging is fine if one can get into the habit- that's what I know for sure because I've been practically trying to use this blog for something everyday now. I look back at it and find that I'm actually laughing at a lot of my posts I've written- it's pretty self-entertaining for me. Nobody really makes personal attacks with me on this blog, which is pretty good. Some nosy people were about trying to help me and saying they wanted to be my friend and all of that is funny now that I think about it. They were just being plain weird, and they were showing some type of pro-social psychotic behavior. I think I may have stumbled onto something- what really triggers a person to go out of character with a person and end up agitating someone while trying to mean well on the outside? Are they trying to lie or is it something they can't really help doing?

I think that could be a pretty powerful discovery if I understood the answers and did some experiments with some willing test subjects haha. It's really at the border line of being sinful, so that might make it socially more acceptable; however, I'm noting from my Biblical experiences that the people at that church who did it to me were actually transgressing against me. I have forgiven them and am making great efforts to leave out Betty Lam (Hope of God Church) from the pack because I don't think she should be put into my logical grouping anymore. For the time being, I'm going to play on this assumption if I have to make any more remarks about them from my recollections. I think a lot of this could also be left to the imagination and can be a useful factor if I decide to create a fictional novel. I'm not sure what my genre is yet, but I feel the need to read some books so I could connect better with my own writing.

A lot of making a living is about doing something you like doing. What's obvious to me is that the majority of people don't like their jobs because they want to be at a higher position. A friend has confirmed with me about feeling boredom at his office, which I also felt when I was working for someone. It is a more secure route but I feel this need to have more independence so I'm willing to put in the money and effort to set up my own business where I could hire good people who would like a place to grow.

First things first- one would need a system that makes money. It would also have to be a field where a person would enjoy it- I think this decision takes the longest for a person. For me, even becoming lazy could equate to a profession if one can think about it but I hate the burning feeling inside from being inactive too long; it's like I need a place of recognition and full expression for satisfaction- the pay doesn't matter as long as it's enough to support my expenses; surely, if I spent so much to explore my needs and interests and am in debt I would struggle if it was a lot with a job I loved and didn't pay well.

Spiritual Warfare

I can see myself falling daily with my sins and regretting myself for having done them. When others try to be pushovers though, it only makes me laugh at them now. We all sin, so we're all sort of in that mess anyway. I realize that it's a daily struggle to avoid going back to stupid addictions that I tried to give up a long time ago. No, I never gave into drugs or alcoholism, but I do have this strong sexual desire sometimes from my testosterone. Yeah, that's a struggle I try to keep a clean head with all the time. I'm starting to give up in pursuing stupid stuff with it now and just accepting that moment of wanting great pleasure as a part of me and filling myself with more concentration and patience. I can definitely see how it might belong properly in a good marriage.

I want to focus more on self-control now with the love of Christ working in me. Christ is definitely an inspiration for my faith which has journeyed with me through a lot of my selfish emotional plateaus. I honestly could probably write what I think women are literally feeling even though I'm not a woman from having that personal experience- haha. Intimate relationships that matter aren't really that hard for me to submit to because I literally value people being in marriages as one of the highest honors you could belong to. So the Bible has been inspiring me to perceive a lot of stuff those people I wrote about were messing up with. I knew the Bible had this special link with me in the beginning which was going to feed my haunch- yet, I wished to be patient at the time and I was totally struggling with emotional things which I got out of just by simply being honest with myself and accepting my own personal terms. I'm also laughing at their rude behaviors now too and won't hesitate to express myself with full confidence to them, which might leave them writhing in personal pain for exacting stupid measures upon me. Haha.

So I do have a motivation to finish the Bible- it deals with whatever is going through me. I get to set aside a little bit of time which feels like all the time in the world to concentrate on a daily passage of the Bible and literally reflect those verses however I want to see it. Of course, I don't want to get wrong about it so meditating on what people told me, I'm finding out for myself what the Scriptures are telling me and where I could grow more in having a relationship with Christ.

Having Fun Through Difficulty

Yeah, they say life isn't easy especially if you are a girl who has to live on her own and wants to be by herself. I guess I have the ability to understand the girls the way they are- no matter how crazy they get now. Also an interesting aspect to this is that I'm attracted to some girls haha. My confidence level is so soaring that I don't need to really get all stalker-like with a girl who doesn't even want to be with me. I never really covered this aspect of relationships with some of those weird people over at Hope of God Church L.A. I should have just been straight-forward with them and been like whatever with my confidence flying through the roof and then run if I sensed that I'm tempted to cause more trouble for them. They were really aggravating people at the time on the inside, but on the outside none of that looked like it. It was hard to discover this difference for me, but I have it down now. I don't care if they have a good time over anything, no matter how selfish it looks now. It's their life and I have mine and I'm going to be a charitable person, so I'm happy to be with my happy gene. Haha.

I am also a very small guy- yes, I am really small and act so confident that even normal friends say that I look normal and communicate with me about all sorts of weird stuff sometimes. One time I told a female friend that I weigh a certain heavy amount even though I looked slender and she was like "Ohh, you have muscle." I looked at myself and all I could look at was my belly and how I'm with this heavy frame and everybody was telling me I lost too much weight. Maybe, I had a mild case of anorexia. I get annoyed with some things sometimes but after all that's been said, it's okay to laugh about it. I'm described to be a short and stocky person- I'm trying to eliminate the "Short" description still on my height. I'm pretty large for some reason for my height- like my torso and foot are pretty big compared to all the other taller people. I could probably make a taller and thin girl look smaller than me if she stood next to me- maybe a reason for women liking taller guys is because they look and feel cuter? Well, I guess it may be common for some women to start off relationships being ignorant and caring about what they connected with while growing up and maybe realizing what true love is later. I don't really care anymore- there's more to it than what meets the eye; this is a tough lesson that I fail to grasp over and over. However, things seem to be going okay for me still hopefully. I have to still remind myself not to get too naughty in detail about what I know about girls on this blog. I'm not a drunkard and have taken a vow to never get drunk and probably if I was for some odd circumstance, I think I'm the guy who would sleep while intoxicated and then wake up with this hangover- yuck! That's abuse I refuse haha. 

Opened Up Old Blog

I opened up my old blog, and it has a lot of stuff on it that one may find uncomfortable. I'm not writing any acts about terror even though some weird guy who tried to be my friend thought I was serious about burning buildings! I did feel like a burning building from not wanting to study and forcing myself to do it all the time- it felt like an endless marathon. Haha. I exaggerated it in a poetic form and said I feel like burning buildings which is a metaphor. The weird guy instantly called me a terrorist; I guess he tried to live up to his patriotism by joining the marines- man, I hope he doesn't turn against his fellow country later down the road. I was thinking about joining in on the action over at Iraq too; a friend told me not to join- it's a good thing he came back home in one piece.

I'm writing comments that would mainly be all right if I am filled with a lot of confidence and willing to be very expressive if I was in person. The thing I was trying to control a lot and trying to practice was trying not to overdo anything out of being angry. This is something some of the church people I mentioned on this blog had trouble getting out of. If I were to come back today, then they would be forced to not get angry with me and I would be laughing at them. The church (Hope of God Church) to me feels like an inferior religion, which is more like living out a club and trying to make meaning of its identity day in and out. It isn't really equipped to bring on new believers or members they would say because of the choices they as a whole go after; I think the person who claims to be the leader, which is most probably the pastor there is doing a pretty poor job spiritually and from a Biblical standpoint. You can take this statement to the bank because I have references to make this comparison. I don't care about some stinky restraining order from a girl who liked me and someone I really wasn't interested in chasing after at the time and was trying to be selfish about being the supreme leader over at the church. She was more about trying to change me and seemed to have a jealous storm which I don't find attractive.

My old blog has a lot of references I was struggling through and some dark interests embedded in it. In the darkness I was conceived in, I was trying to make my way to the light of Christ- this experience was authentic and not something I did out of what Bible students call tongue service. Every person on this block of the universe has his or her own unique genes, experiences, and preferences- I know it's similar in a case to group them together politically; however, the way I see it different is the choices we make and going out of our way to influence someone to change is definitely a possibility. I'm using personal laughter over my own anguish now with people which will make it so easy for me- so this whole Annie Tran (Hope of God Church) blocking me from facebook thing in the beginning is absolutely not a big deal to overcome and I can have her unblock me if she wants to be serious about keeping a facebook profile. Otherwise, I'll just make fun of her easily and be honest with her and just laugh about it with the people she's around. I don't even care if she never comes to the church again and hope she does well in her marriage if she goes off to be married at a different country. Haha. In other words, it's her loss and I'll make it known to her because she'll most likely fret about things as she has done in the past anyway.

My new blog, if anybody really wants to dare; I'm sure the people who I mentioned who were on bad terms with me have given up massively with me and so will probably not want to read my blog anymore because I'm kicking their tail- it means I have defeated them and am capable of humiliating them at their own game. Here's the link to my old blog, which I wrote like a diary so if I made comments that offend a person then well he's being pretty weird with me because I'm really confident again and can tell what's wrong with him if he wants to express it with me. I'll even sense it because I'm good enough to do this eventually. It's all about the amount of time I get to know someone; I might be able to sense something has bothered them or it could be that they just can't handle things properly about being anxious because they aren't that mature yet while being older than me. I sort of know where to draw the line- it has to be a certainty in being straight-forward. I'm certain that I was certain about everything I wrote and will be able to abate people who want to be weird with me now in person and laugh at them and will let others see it too with their own faults. Here's my link: http://earlsclub.blogspot.com

Taking A Step Forward

I guess writing for me has always been about finding personal comfort. I've never really worked so extensively on it to be a crowd pleaser. Haha. I realize that my mind was boggled by people who were too far-fetched with me and would get me to a point of wanting to be angry with them. Haha. I just can't stay mad forever anymore and  incapacitated. It's in my biological genes where my mind becomes happy- I think I have the happy gene. I'm pretty much laughing underneath a lot and should be able to do this in person if I ever come across some weird people again. Keeping my distance from people is actually naturally easy for me, so someone trying to put a restraining order on me in the near future is going to get humiliated in court- I guarantee it. Haha.

That was pretty cool to draw eyes towards me- I am male and can act like I'm the alpha male with a whole ton of confidence. I've been asked to be someone's wing man before which is fun but just that I wasn't sure who he was asking me to do it for- he was just using hand gestures with me that we agreed upon. Haha. What's on the outside doesn't seem to draw too many comments but on occasion I hear thoughts about me being short. I'm actually smiling about thinking with me being part of the short crowd now. I wish I was lighter but my bones are so thick and my body has this capability of storing some fat that I can outweigh a really thin person whose a foot taller than me haha. Call me short and fat and dumb and whatever you want, I'm still acting like an alpha male and helping others out of wanting to be charitable- I realize that it feels really good to be a giving person. It's uncomfortable at first, but the joy of doing it feels so good later on in the road.

It really doesn't matter what your physicality is when it comes to being a dictator which is a position I abhor. I don't want to force someone with my alpha personality to marry me haha- let's say I do and then force some babies to be conceived then it might be uncomfortable if the person wants to be released from this spell that comes from me being an alpha male. I am a short and weak alpha male who doesn't mind working out to gain strength, speed, agility, flexibility, and mental alertness. Haha. Watch, I'm going to get six pack abs someday and run the Iron Man Challenge- I'll be sitting around last place so not even going to be noticed on TV; unless, the audience knows how to take notice of that short person in the background. Haha.

I'm not really considered a midget haha but I've seen one on TV who loves being one and making a living out of him being an alpha male midget. Haha. Someone who is really small can still make a respectable amount of money and attract some ire from tall people. The shortest man in the world was about a foot in length, and he sadly passed away due to inevitable diseases that came from being a chain smoker.

I've been giving effort in trying to write about just plain anything that comes on top of my mind. I wonder how it would be like for me to actually put together a cheap story and try to draw some laughs with it. Writing can surely release a lot of tension as one writer put it. I'm also planning on opening my old blog again which brought some controversy and tension in my life, but was not really that serious. I don't really mind the attention it attracts anymore because I'm going to stay true to myself and acknowledge who I am. It has some interesting posts- that's for sure, I would say because my thoughts were all over the place and I was trying to zone in on somewhere and so was experimenting with things I didn't seem to understand. I'm ready to meet more wonderful and weird people separately that originates from me sharing my blog with the world. Hopefully, the weird person(s) I'm alluding to will know who I'm talking about and that he or she will be able to stay humble and not get all A.W.O.L. with me. I'm definitely not that interested in pursuing a relationship with them. If I do, it's because I want to be a charitable person and make them feel even more weirder and help them not to feel that way at the same time. There are a lot of cute people who are very nice and well-brought up and really easy to respect and get along with and probably even great about entering a good relationship if you know what I mean. I'm still considerably young (under thirty) so I'm in luck. Haha.

Laughing About Old Times

Since my mind has awakened from a pretty often panicked state even though I didn't show it and tried to give others hope, I'm feeling a lot more relevant and more coherent with things. Hey, now that I think of it; those people I keep mentioning on this blog over and over again like a sick parrot (Chris, Jarred, Annie, Lee, Golf, Chai, Bae) were really of no good use to me. Haha, I left out Betty on purpose because I know we can enjoy each others' company as friends. Heck, we hung out awhile ago and nothing bad happened and I was like cool with it too, so just building a decent friendship is going to be a high benefit for me. I really understand Betty a lot even though she can't communicate everything she's feeling with me now, and my haunch is just being a friend to her out of trying to be a gentleman haha. I'm still not writing about some intimate things about her, so just reminding myself not to on this blog.

Originally, looking at my old posts made me become even more nervous and now that I'm looking at it, I'm just laughing at how I was in the past. It's not a really bad thing actually with the metamorphose I was going through in terms of the Bible. I was struggling a lot and finding hope and strength in my character building by placing trust in Christ. I was filled with a lot of passion and had these moments of being cold as ice or on fire that I could consume any obstacle. If I had acted naturally, then Chris and Jarred might have had a really hard time with me and I would be terrorizing them momentarily and making them look like a bunch of babies in a legal fashion. Haha. I chose to hold back here so I could look for the perfect swing, just like Tiger Woods did for his golf career- he was very good before a marital-related problem messed him up. I have found what I'm looking for and understand the thrill of being the captain of my ship. I'm still giving my life over to God to let Him mold me into a soldier of Christ.

I'm also thinking about opening back up my old posts from my old blog- it's called the Land of Earltopolis (haha); it documents some of my glories and tribulations - I changed the blog's name so many times. One time I called it Earl's World. Another time, I called it my computer club's name because I was the president- it was a pretty good club even though I sucked at being president; I would seriously know what to do now because I'm more sincerely open to how people are and respecting their space while laughing about how they could be missing out with the most fun ever. In other words, despite some lack of communication skills I wrote it like I was a free spirit and I was pretty young back then which was respectable with all that passion I released onto it.

Avoiding Fruitless Barriers

My mind has been really changed into a very confident one after all these years of relying on a mixture of balance and fear. I'm finding myself more and more avoiding traps that set out to pretty much kill you. Haha. It's not all about human evolution or whatever those thoughts about having good genes are- haha but it's more about living out the desires embedded in my heart. The inexplicable things of nature, such as extreme intelligence and beautiful anatomical features should matter! I did read up on Darwin's Descent of Man- I have to say that it is quite a riveting piece of nonfiction; however, I could only get past the first section which talked about vestigial structures and comparative biology which was amusing. Darwin noted that the things I'm interested in learning more about were inexplicable by some scientific principle (some reduction complex theory I think on top of my head)- those are things that would really put religious people on the map of even considering, if researchers ever got around solving but not enough evidence yet. I think DNA was a great find, which makes for fairly cool and  revolutionary tools. I believe that Darwin utilizes a backtracking method to make an interesting case; yet, there still seems to be some missing link that researchers haven't professed about yet. Supporting it like it really happened would still have to be sort of an assumption- I think it's more about researchers just having a haunch and leaning towards there. I'm not ready to accept this model about humans having a predecessor in terms of human evolution yet; until they find it. I have an analogy about using backtracking- in stocks, backtracking helps to create a model but it always doesn't fit picture perfect- you could work on it to get it the majority of the time but it won't always hold. It's too bad because those bones who we thought were ancestors are actually apes- I'm disappointed and sticking to this hope model of putting my faith and love in Jesus and the Bible. I do want to state that natural selection is a phenomenal discovery that Darwin made about this world.

So this thought of how we came from apes and baboons or something like that could be interesting and even the chimpanzee (it has a closely related gene pool with humans) is still limited in its intelligence. The intellectual structure being considered out of the equation is so hypocritical and immoral- I believe that thoughts about evolution could be convoluted for some people in the area of human morality. It sort of has this feel of promoting anarchy and pessimism for regular people- I'm a little outside the box, so I could understand the researcher's feel and drive for pioneering something and wish them the best of luck but there's this consideration that should make them feel slightly responsible about it.

I created a post about biology instead of talking about my goals- wow. Something about the ancient sphinx, I recall- haha deals with claims about human evolution. The sphinx in Egypt does have evidence that it rained there at one point and probably even flooded with some erosion occurring; it would be a natural coincidence just that the Bible claims there was this atrocious flood in the story of Noah's Ark. Interesting how some thinkers believe it's a myth because of its atrocity and the possible lack of trust in animals obeying humans - haha. Maybe the concept of God Himself is too far-fetched for Atheists. I do remember the Round Earth Society formed at my college which was an interesting philosophical club; I just couldn't stick around there for some reason but it was based on the belief of Atheism and noting the fact that religious protestants thought the world was flat at one point before Columbus discovered the New World for Europe - haha.

I had a lot of moments of figuring out stuff so I'm just pretty much reliving a finished puzzle by reminiscing what I got out of it. I'm really grateful to have a happy mind and to be on pursuit of a normal life and would be capable of defending it against a principle evil that interferes with carrying out our right to be humans. I do have hope that humans would come to acknowledge this existence of a powerful being that is immortal and in charge of making this universe run and that they would put faith in Him so that they would come to turn away from living out any dirty secrets within them and experience a joy that gets to be upheld by the truly privileged in this world- in other words, it doesn't matter whether you become wealthy or not and stay sick or healthy.   


 

Reaching 365 Mark

Man, it feels so good to write about anything and then get to reaching the 365th mark. Basically, I will be averaging one post a day; trust me, it's really hard to even write a single sentence on this blog for me. A word becomes a sentence; a sentence becomes a paragraph, and then a paragraph becomes a page, and then a page becomes my novel which I should have after working on it for another 100 years.

I do have a novel; I think I was so sarcastic on it that I decided to quit on it and not motivate myself to finish it. I'm kidding myself; it's supposed to be a comedy, but I feel so sarcastic making up characters to make fun of some things. Maybe, I should characterize my life story a little onto the characters I kill. I hope I don't get so attached to them that I end up living out a funeral for one of my characters which is supposed to represent me. Haha.

I do have a dreaming state of how I wished some things were lived out. I feel like I could be doing something illegal by cheating in life by how I write a story; I don't mean plagiarism but more like I could hide some facts underneath and seriously try to do some damage to get some funny retribution! I would want the character to stay alive and go through so much torture he put himself through by his actions and painfully live to be 200 years old while I outgrow him longer in life and am always joyful. Haha. Ever see the cartoon, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes? I have; it was so funny- obviously, I would want to know how some idiots looked if they became brainwashed by an angry living tomato. It feels like it could be my way of cheating out in life; a form of escape per se where everything is lived out in so much comedy and reality that nobody can ever stress me out, no matter what they do. I think people would be jealous because of problems like sibling abuse (hahaha I was on the giving end with my sister), friends turning their back on you, or even a boss who belittles you for your work and can't say thank you - all these things might end people's lives earlier. I think the people I mentioned who were bad with me over at that church (Hope of God Church L.A.) stressed out too much over their own personal problems and pretty much shortened their life span because they wanted to blame someone else for it which was me. I'm laughing about it and having a good time- I know how ironic that seems because I also care for them still.  

Countdown To Christmas

I'm feeling excited about Christmas. I'm still poor so I'm not going to do anything special this year, but I don't really care. It's the thought that counts. Haha. I'm pretty much trying the best I can to work hard even under hours where I don't want to do anything. I guess I want to keep myself busy with something I enjoy doing and I pretty much found what I want to keep myself busy with. It's been a little hard to stay consistent and I need to be more consistent with what I planned myself to do.

I finally managed to set up a schedule for myself and think I'll be all right now. I'm using the G-mail Calendar to help remind me of what I need to do throughout the week, which is a really nifty tool for me. It sort of saves a lot of space and from adding up any unnecessary clutter. My mind and body used to feel so pressured when I set out myself to do something; maybe it was chronic fatigue that caused me to not do so well as I would have liked. Anyway that emotion is totally gone now and I'm pretty much in control of my destiny now.

It's pretty much adding upon what I'm doing routinely. I never knew that it can just stick with you like that and be just a normal thing later on and something that doesn't bother you. I pretty much went through a lot of mental toughening trials but I'm just about making out of it, so I need to just keep on letting go of foolish thoughts.

Schedule I Need To Focus On

I am considering myself a newbie with being a Forex trader, and it is quite a challenge. What it allows you to do is to test the market using a demo account. I'm going to have to adjust my hours accordingly. I wake up at around 8 or 9 in the morning, so I'm pretty much starting off the morning by working out (walking usually if I'm going to be sore) about an hour and a half and then I get some food. I then get carried away with some distractions usually- I should seriously keep this to a minimal amount. I think I'll just give myself a free hour or two to just read up on anything I want to online because there's some news that I want to keep up with.

I'm usually sleeping at about 1:30 in the morning, so that gives me about 17 hours to use. That is a lot of time in my hands, especially since I'm dedicating myself to being a trader and not really having to work like regular people do. They say the best times to trade are at evening to late at night, so I get to dedicate learning to trade about 5.5 hours each night during the week day. That would mean I have 8 hours down time remaining during the week day and am going to be virtually free on the weekends. Aside from taking many breaks to cool off my frustrations of not doing so way with my practice, I'm seriously going to read up on mastering Forex and tweak around with it by messing around in my demo account, until I can get it right; I'm just not going to care if I mess it up because there's no end to how many demo accounts you can have. It can be made difficult to blow out an account if that is desirable, so in a way a pretty secure profession could be made out of this if a lot of effort is put into it. I'm going strong with it so far, so I'm going to keep it up. Once I master this Forex business, I'm going to have so much time on my hands with a lot of money to spare for hobbies or donating to serve God. 

The distractions I would like to eliminate are playing video games (unless I'm trying to stay awake or it is the weekend). I need to have confidence in this because that's probably going to be key for me in staying persistent on this journey; I also need to not let this thought of wanting fast money get to me either and just be patient about it right now.

Living In Patience

There's nothing that I really want to boast about with myself while writing on this blog. Haha. I pretty much feel like I was making a lot of New Year's resolutions already this whole year that I was writing on this blog. Yeah, so I guess my New Year's resolutions is to pretty much try to be more depending on God for support. Yes, I am a God-fearing individual who wants to live out what's in the Bible. There's nothing for me to really brag about. I sort of wish I acted a little more natural and then had an ability to laugh at those individuals at Hope of God Church (Los Angeles) who gave me a hard time without them really knowing it. I was stiff like a rubber ducky who didn't make those cute noises when played with. Haha. I asked a lot of questions in a monotonous voice which never became answered, so yeah they did have some anger management problems. Haha. I was also monotonous in my e-mails with questions (hello? writing with lack of clarity, trying to be sensitive, willing to be understanding) which they stated were like sending people straight to hell. Yeah, they were in their heads and way over themselves. Haha

I guess I know how to outdo them now, so in a spiritual matter; yeah, it was really significantly bad for them to act in a really bad manner- I sort of feel bad for them because I believe their church isn't growing anytime soon. I'm thinking about, after I've given them some more time, by initiating their personal problems which they brought to light with me and has nothing to do with me, so they end up acting pretty bad- that means if I reveal it on the spot then they are going to force themselves to change dramatically outwardly and try not to show it with me. This could be to my advantage now, so I'm going to call another knowledgeable friend to help double team these guys on a one-on-two basis. Yeah, some tag team action and then laughing a lot when the cops arrive and joking with them as they escort us out of here would be a lot of fun; I might try to evangelize those cops because I'm going to look all sour and bad anyway if they call the cops- so if I preach to them, hey hearing the gospel never felt so good out of a person who appears to have bad character. Hey, they can't send me to jail because they tried me for a crime I didn't commit and it would be double jeopardy. If the cops beat me for me trying to tell them how Jesus loves them, then well they better plant evidence to send me to jail because I won't be an easy one to send to jail because I don't do criminal behavior in general- err, ignore speeding on freeways. Yay, I don't know what food chemicals they were sniffing that caused them to be so rowdy with me. Their bureaucratic system has been now cracked by me simply just waiting it out; their reign of terror with me is over for good, and they will be forced to not get on people's cases which could be a weakness with their kids in the future haha. I'm thinking they would make pretty bad parents so far in my perception of them. 

I could use everything bad they throw at me to glorify God. Yes, I'm seriously ready for this and totally equipped. Just that I'm going to lay low with them for awhile, before I come back and see how little the church has changed except maybe some of them who caused problems with me (Chris Kuch, Jarred Taing, Annie Tran, Betty Lam, Lee Wong, Chai, Golf, and Bae hahaha) could possibly be leaving the church. I honestly hope Betty is still around because I have her figured out now, and I'm in the mood for letting her know that we're more than just cool, we're awesome with each other as just friends. I wish Betty didn't join in on their bad influence; I should have tried to leave her out as being a witness and just included Annie who was being weird and funny. Focusing on Annie only and leaving out Betty would have made things so much harder for their Restraining Order Scare Tactic Corporation to take place. Haha. Two young ladies who can show strong emotions being a witness? That's a little easy to view with sexism. I may have hung out with Betty, and she was indefinitely cool about it because she accepted, so Betty should have never been dragged into this. Everything is a benefit to me because whatever response to a situation happens, I'm going to try to glorify Jesus with it.