Spiritual Warfare

I can see myself falling daily with my sins and regretting myself for having done them. When others try to be pushovers though, it only makes me laugh at them now. We all sin, so we're all sort of in that mess anyway. I realize that it's a daily struggle to avoid going back to stupid addictions that I tried to give up a long time ago. No, I never gave into drugs or alcoholism, but I do have this strong sexual desire sometimes from my testosterone. Yeah, that's a struggle I try to keep a clean head with all the time. I'm starting to give up in pursuing stupid stuff with it now and just accepting that moment of wanting great pleasure as a part of me and filling myself with more concentration and patience. I can definitely see how it might belong properly in a good marriage.

I want to focus more on self-control now with the love of Christ working in me. Christ is definitely an inspiration for my faith which has journeyed with me through a lot of my selfish emotional plateaus. I honestly could probably write what I think women are literally feeling even though I'm not a woman from having that personal experience- haha. Intimate relationships that matter aren't really that hard for me to submit to because I literally value people being in marriages as one of the highest honors you could belong to. So the Bible has been inspiring me to perceive a lot of stuff those people I wrote about were messing up with. I knew the Bible had this special link with me in the beginning which was going to feed my haunch- yet, I wished to be patient at the time and I was totally struggling with emotional things which I got out of just by simply being honest with myself and accepting my own personal terms. I'm also laughing at their rude behaviors now too and won't hesitate to express myself with full confidence to them, which might leave them writhing in personal pain for exacting stupid measures upon me. Haha.

So I do have a motivation to finish the Bible- it deals with whatever is going through me. I get to set aside a little bit of time which feels like all the time in the world to concentrate on a daily passage of the Bible and literally reflect those verses however I want to see it. Of course, I don't want to get wrong about it so meditating on what people told me, I'm finding out for myself what the Scriptures are telling me and where I could grow more in having a relationship with Christ.