Being Totally Honest

Actually, I can get away with a lot of things all I want to but I want to be the best at the things that matter the most to me. I want to focus on being a nice dude! People have asked me this annoying question of whether I have a girlfriend or not. The answer is no, I don't have one and then they just ask why which has been really annoying. My personal opinion is that I think the girl I want to be with is taken or maybe she might not exist because I haven't really found her yet. I did find an ideal type lady but she's already taken and I'm happy for her to be honest! She's only one of like thirty girls I know.

I think I haven't been able to find girls I can comfortably meet casually and haven't found that much favor with people. I am basically short and such a clumsy person and I don't think I can get away with that like a cute girl can. I guess I'm not really able to hold myself that well because of my looks and being so nervous. I'm not really known for anything except for being funny and occasionally a great guy. I don't seem to have enough chemistry with the small pool of ladies I'm close with right now. These girls are probably quirky in their own way even they can be attractive in their own ways. It's just been added on to all these years and then things just keep on getting annoying for me, so there's really no where for me to go. I was just born like this and with circumstances.

Actually, the girls I think would be great in a relationship with me do acknowledge me but they are all taken. There's one girl who is borderline crazy and she's single and we get along- still, I just don't know the aspect of her being able to be physically loving with me, even though I think she can be an attractive girl. We're like family though. I don't like the idea of trying to steal someone's significant other and that's not me so I have to find a fresh face who I feel this connection strong enough that we will end up together. I also need to work hard to take care of my own personal mess. One thing for certain is that I believe I can be successful as long as I'm very diligent about it now.  

Basically, the plan of action for me now is to just be totally honest while going around out-gunning people from my past with my wit. I have this ability to recollect and make a come back that can throw my unsuspecting and unwilling peers off-balance. Next thing is just to be brave and man up and take in all of those depressing moments I'm anticipating which I'm so afraid of and just ask the girls I feel a connection with out after knowing they aren't seeing anyone. I think I will just try to be quick friends casually and build rapport with them first so I can figure out all their issues and anything wrong with me based on their responses. It's hard work to move on anyways, and I can still have fun with the same girls even if they know I like them and vice versa. For the most part though, I need a lady who isn't that stuck up and won't let any physical qualities that she thinks are negative and I have no control over to get in the way of a physically, loving relationship!

Basically, even if the single and not currently dating lady I'm attracted to ends up offending me from not liking my appearance which is my go to accusation that I keep quiet about and she might not even reveal, I think it's something natural and just not meant to be. I shouldn't be holding a grudge or stay depressed about it and just accept it, while moving on to try to find someone else better and available for me. I don't mind putting in the effort to still stay friends with her even if she goes crazy and tries to file a restraining order on me! I will just know then that I did all I could and I'm going to avoid that crazy girl like I did with Crazy Lee! I actually never really liked Crazy Lee enough to be honest- I tried, but I didn't feel much with her. She put a restraining order while belting out her anger issues in court and with me banging my head on the courtroom table with my lawyer trying to defend me. I was afraid it was going to kill my image. It really set me back psychologically, but I'm rising back up and this is what probably bugs people who were against me. It shouldn't really concern me because I can put in the effort to be friends with them too no matter how much it annoys them! At the same time, I can be hard working to look for areas to develop myself. I do have a job that pays enough to sustain dates and other expenses.