Staying Confident

I think about 50% of the time my mind wants to keep on backtracking about the same thoughts. It gets pretty annoying to think about, especially from remembering what happened and having it make me feel so angry. I internalize all this fury a lot and walk around in public while people I know are like "What's up?" I say hi to them back and smile, while I'm fuming underneath and not showing how I want to blow things up from my past! I wish people could regenerate into nice people, but only if it was so true. It would be like playing a first-person shooter in real life for escapism then continuously, but yeah, that would get annoying too after all because of the lack of stability. I think the way God created this world is well-meaning and fair.

From having faith in Jesus, I'm starting to not feel so panicky about everything that doesn't go my way. I feel like I'm able to better maintain my own emotions and stay calm through a lot of situations. Thinking about a lot of things do make me really mad but when it comes time to putting myself in that position, I'm finding myself not regretting it from going after honesty! Honesty makes it so simple along with hard work, being law-abiding, and using all the intelligence in the world I could at that point and giving it my all to get what I want!

From having confidence, there's no need to stay mad and plan stuff before hand because it's a waste of time from it being such a little thing. I'll just leave it to developing myself for thinking on the spot and go after cooler priorities that I want to work on. Basically the dumb people from the past were mad with the little stuff about me and I was mad that they were being crazy but now it seems like what they did wasn't significant and would be so embarrassing for revealing to others so they have tried to force me to not talk about it. Their attempts are futile because it really all lies on my choice to be merciful to them or unleash a whole lot of jokes about them if I want to. They have trouble moving on because of me and are pretty much going to walk away from it because of me becoming such a force of nature!