Bittersweet

A girl who I believe I'm well-matched for ended up getting engaged during the Christmas holidays. The guy who proposed is a smart dude for making it happen! She's quite the catch, and I think she really is making herself lovely and available while wanting to be devoted to him. She never really did this for me! Oh well, I guess it's life and I just didn't really feel much of a connection with her. I felt like since she was in some rocky relationships, it would be hard for me since I haven't been in any significant relationship. I can't really tell sometimes whether couples are friends or seriously married or dating because I act the same way with other ladies I'm friends with, except not go around smooching each other. Otherwise yeah, it's seriously like 9.5 times out of 10 that yes, they have something significant going on with their relationship.

I think I would have never gone around to asking her to be in a dating relationship with me ever. It just doesn't feel right for me even though I believe she would be the correct person for me to marry. It's all logical and feels good but something just doesn't add up to how things were. I think I made myself unattractive because I still have things to focus on with myself. I'm just not ready and I should be the man and have it all together which is what ladies look for in guys. This is where I'm going to need to work hard for and to continuously seek after with my experiences. Honestly, going on that Euro trip during the winter with some friends, including a girl who is single and attractive and slightly crazy is going to be a great experience for me. I'm just not feeling the moment is correct with that one to ask her to go steady. It would be perfect and totally private and customized for me though with how the stage is set but I'm not looking for that with her right now. Later on? I just don't know but I would like to see how I feel about it. I'll have to just be honest with her because being truthful works really well for me. I think she'll still be cool with me even if I tell her that I like her later on but I would rather just laugh about it. It does feel that it would be a lot of fun and very seductive to do some couple things with her though. She stands just a little shorter than me so I'm walking around feeling short and having to pretend that I'm not crying inside around people while acting happy. Fake it until you make it!