It wasn't fun at all to be selfish and holding it in while feeling depressed and having a hard time to get somewhere in life. This in turn made me become a really weird person, but not the kind who goes killing people. I grew up with this personality of wanting to be friends with everyone at school. I just couldn't understand the issues that bullies had with other kids back then and it really hurt my feelings when a kid who was a close friend to me ended up bullying me. The kid later left the school and transferred over to another middle school, but I don't know what caused him to become that way. I just know that he became really angry with me and couldn't control it but it wasn't the type of anger that would justify doing any type of physical harm to me or to get me in trouble. He just ended up having a beef with me- in my mind, I thought he was number two because there was a best friend who left me, so I was going to move on to this guy being my new best friend.
He was a jealous kid about me being smart and his mom loving me while she hated him, now that I remember and very flamboyant while being selfish and just really angry about me running away from stuff he was mad about and couldn't resolve with me. I understand now because I'm a fully grown adult! I just couldn't put it all together and I relied so much on my parents for direction and it didn't do much. The church I was going to wasn't feeding me spiritually either and left me feeling so lonely and an outsider with this world.
It took awhile for me and it also hurt me to consider myself a short person. My mom says I'm not short and doesn't ever talk about it and says, "So what" to me all the time. It doesn't help me and my mom can't do anymore for me there. My parents can be so weird sometimes and it's a pain to deal with, but I grew up with a decent head and a heart that wants to be friendly. I have anger problems in the form of wanting to be defensive so it includes practicing martial arts for me. From the way I conducted myself, because I'm not doing anything necessarily bad but having had bothered some people while being mad at them, they have claimed that I'm a really scary person to people. I can say they were proven wrong and thinking crazy from having been so mad and having a hard time about it!
First of all, I have to find a way to get rich and marry an attractive and physically loving lady while having fun living my life at the same time. This pretty much means continuing to work on the things I want to do.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
