Back To Making Same Mistake

I think my mistake yesterday was just making the decision to watch entertaining magicians on YouTube. I felt that I would only spend a few minutes before doing something else and then I just didn't feel like it and kept on watching for a few hours before hitting the sack. I think the keyword is dealing with whether I feel like it or not and that's probably the reason why I didn't do it and so I feel like an idiot today.

The problem is that it crossed my mind that I should start preparing for my friend's trip coming up tomorrow and knowing myself, I would take forever to get ready. One of the reasons that showed itself is because of my procrastination from preferring to entertain myself over getting my priorities done. From constantly doing this, I get all depressed and feel stupid so I put an end to it. There hasn't been any way for me yet to keep myself in check and be consistent besides just cut into time to get it finished when it feels a little inappropriate.

From what I'm realizing, it's just decision making at the core and the feelings of whether I want to do it or not coming into a factor. I know everybody deals with these emotions and what separates the happy and successful from the rest is that they have a passion that has worked out quite well for them. It must be that planning for trips might not be my passion and I know a close friend who is annoying while she tells me what I have to do, but she is so detailed for a girl and cares for her own stuff so much that the selfishness sort of shows for me; and I want to resent it sometimes, but I just keep quiet and put up with it. I don't know, but she is still single and is interested in guys and I'm like the main guy friend she has right now. If I find her to be a little scary or annoying sometimes but guys are still finding her attractive, then maybe she's really all about keeping up with first impressions but has trouble maintaining her composure because she does have panic attacks and cares about something else besides being in a relationship.

I guess her priorities currently then aren't really about being in a relationship based on how she is. She just over-stresses things and can't help herself from being that way sometimes. I mean I'm still attracted to her sometimes and don't think it's strange at all though. At this point, I'm going to put my thoughts of pursuing after her on hold and go searching for other fun and attractive, single ladies I can meet and try to connect with. I don't want to regret this decision so I'll be going for the best I can get, and I'm seriously over the feelings of how it's taking so long now. I will labor and keep on looking for the right opportunities and just go for it when things are just settling in and it's like the person would just know underneath.