I think habits sometimes take a long time to form, and there are moments where things might go somewhere that just doesn't feel right. I think the best thing to do about it is to just try your very best no matter what the situation is and try not to keep out of focus. I think I've been around some people who feel like they're very bad influences to me and won't really contribute that much, and it's hard not feeling bothered by them from time to time. There's this one guy who sort of annoys me whenever he laughs about something that doesn't make any sense, and it's just really hard not to feel any anger or resentment at him; furthermore, he just goes all out in this really rude manner which I really oppose any human should be doing. I guess when I think of it- we might be on an opposite spectrum, and he still wants me to take him places because he doesn't know how to get to some places; I think he would rather bother me to take out any of his frustrations because of a situation than anybody else right now. I guess I have somebody who doesn't mind trying to bug the heck out of me because he thinks it's fun and also wanting to hang out with me haha. I even bother him too from time to time and man, he gets really annoyed and won't stop talking no matter what you tell him sometimes.
Eh, I just get to save my energy and work hard at what I want to do with my life and be reasonably peaceful with others. I'm realizing that whatever trouble I was causing for others is really insignificant and whatever results come out of it, it isn't really going to dramatically alter my life anyway. Along with having grown enough moral foundations and ethics throughout the years of how to be a normal, socially acceptable person, I just might be able to do whatever I want to desirably with them because maybe, I just have a talent to be able to control little issues like this with people. A lot of it comes from just relaxing enough and thinking really big and just being brave enough to take it all the way; no matter what the mistake was, just don't go breaking property and seriously injuring anybody physically- that's the way I look at it. Be annoying as the devil for all I care or limit somebody's freedom in talking with others, it's being human to adapt to these circumstances. The real deal needs to be about if the person is reaching that haven where he or she is truly successful at something and feels very content about it. It even doesn't matter if some people want to shun the person. This is where unfairness gets to originate for everyone to see when the annoying person or group wants to resort to very bad tactics.
In my dictionary, someone who can handle unfairness very well and still manage to come out to be a happy superstar in the end is a superman or wonder woman. The first step is that I did experience unfairness at a level of socializing that affected others in a way to contribute to their serious decision; however, I don't feel that I've been personally rocked by the evil doers or anything- furthermore, if I can be an entirely, rich human being in all aspects of my life including great friends, loving family, and mastering the greatest job in the world then it won't matter if these insignificant people (some former leaders like Jarred, Chris, and Lee at Hope of God Church, L.A. and Washington Chun ha ha ha - sorry for the extreme bias) tries to put another dictatorship on my life and put me in jail for not following their compendium on how to live my life because they're so convinced or stubborn that they can still help me and make an excuse that I was bothering others about it when the people they brought over were there stating that they weren't really bothered by me.
Actually, Annie Tran just stated that I asked her about why she blocked me on Facebook and that's it- she was just going along with the flow of church to try to be a good church member- not because she was actually bothered by me. I think I know the real reason why she remembered the amount of times I asked her- haha- okay, I'm sort of glad we didn't get to commit with each other- sorry, I don't think we're supposed to be at a great level of spousal-ship or something like that. Betty was literally upset because she didn't understand me, not because I was being a bad person. Gee, it seems like putting trust in their leadership would be the worst possible action to do from here on out now. Go figure, Annie and Betty left the church. I'm going to wing it now and don't mind if they call the whole army to try to bring me out of that church now- I just want to see their facial expressions now and laugh at them if they do drag me out or throw me out of the gate at their church. Yeah, they get to be the center of all my jokes for once now. Note, the people I just mentioned are no longer on my weird list or anything- they're just a bunch of whatever people to me now and quite insignificant to me- not trying to hurt their feelings at all because they're involvement isn't that much with me anymore and not really contributing to how I'm making my choices of living. Like, I could literally joke around by asking them for help now and mocking them if they get mad at me and set up another meeting to try to tell me how I should behave to please them. I'll be good to everybody else, and only make fun of them in person so they get to hear the ugly news I have to tell them- I guess that works out well in the end for me and not them, so my real question is if they can learn to let go of this stuff. It may look like I'm planning to be there, but the real thing is that I'm not there at all so that means I don't really have to listen to some comments of how I shouldn't be going back there. Okay, I think I don't have to be bothered about anything in general now.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
