I Know What To Do Now

Oh man, it took me so long to get to an understanding of the weirdest people on the planet for me. I'm still pretty much a short loser who gets bored of living so I guess I'm just ultra-relaxed right now. I'm not really that into watching T.V. anymore; man, T.V. is getting so boring with all those reruns and new episodes which really talk about nothing - it doesn't even make me laugh. It feels like a person I don't know is just talking non-stop with me- come on, give me some space; that's pretty much how I feel.

I just can't do those weird things I did when I was an adolescent anymore without feeling like a moron. Honestly, I find myself lucky in the health and not getting in trouble category but I had a pretty boring life to be blunt. If I had cancer, then I would probably think about how life was too short and that I need to make my time count as much as possible and to make peace with God. I would probably cry every night from feeling pain in my body, so it's pretty sad to learn how some people are leaving this world because of this incurable disease.

Life sucks in a way sometimes and it's painful when you feel like you're missing out on some stuff. Even trying to look on the bright side by making fun of the people who made you feel this way is starting to feel cruel for me. I think I'm just becoming this individual whose learning to let go and to still be a wisecrack in the future about it. Having the time to do something extraordinary is amazing and right now, I'm feeling a little sidelined because I just don't know what to do really to pass away time. It's like just thinking about it endlessly without going anywhere is supplying me with excitement and anticipation. I've learned a connection that's going to help me out a lot- basically, when others do stuff that I don't like, it's my responsibility to not let it get to me and become driven mad because of it- it's like I can feel a sense of relief if what they did was immoral and they were caught by authority and were punished because of it; otherwise, I'm just steering clear of them and going to try to protect some loved ones and myself if they become too violent. Overall, any distractions which are a part of me will ultimately affect my own decisions so I accept that my actions originate out of me and that I have no problems taking full responsibility for whatever happens to me now.