Surviving From What Little I Have

This whole being bored everyday is a bunch of baloney. It's true that I may be very relaxed everyday from being bored, but there is some excitement that I strive for right now even though I'm currently living a sad, chaste life. I'm thinking like that while having a small frown on my face- it's like a similar train of thought that goes through my head momentarily when I'm communicating or initially thinking about a taller, attractive female before I zone out. Oh well, maybe my life was just meant to be boring and lived out by myself for a lifetime; how unappealing and boring. Even though I don't seem to have too many problems being in normal terms with any women regardless of how pretty or more taller than they are to me, I'm just like thinking to myself sometimes while having a frown on my face for being short and then smiling inwardly about the thought that I could be rejected because of my height alone by any person I try to get close to.

I have no idea, but height doesn't really matter to me and for those who do care about it like me, then well I guess those types of people just need to fry the part of their brain cells that makes them worry so much. No, I'm just kidding around a little. I don't know what the theory is with how a small dude manages to marry a tall, successful, and beautiful person, but it's definitely not that common to me. I guess people are going to say stuff about it and express some concerns. Man, I feel really short and old at the same time.


Even though it's hard sometimes, I wonder if there are more people out there who are shorter than me and about the same age could step up to the plate and really nail marriages that are conceived to be impossible to work out and then inspire me to try also. I guess I'm just trying to go through the motions right now with everything happening in my life and thinking more clearly about my decisions and responsibilities that I would like to obtain for myself.

I would really like to have a more active mind, so I believe that working out is helping me to achieve this great state of mind. I would also like to relax more and feel prepared to take on difficult challenges that come my way and to be able to successfully deal with them. Looks like I just want that additional boost in my life along with some stability and to also be able to accept my fate if it's not going to happen the way I wanted it to. I just want to be prepared for stuff like this now. Overall, I feel like I have no role models to really look up to, but do feel like respecting others and being honest with them regardless of who they are. If I'm called stupid for being brave and making a mad man torture me slowly and take away my life, then well, I just accept my fate if I become immobilized for defending myself or helplessly others I want to protect; furthermore, I'm not changing for being upfront with anybody. Even though I'm good at keeping secrets and will commit to my promises of not letting it out once I give into it no matter what, I'm still going to be upfront about stuff and not be shy.