After like three weeks of not looking at porno and feeling these hormones of wanting it and just typing in a word to search on Google, I stumbled onto a sexy image that triggered me and so it became my session. I wasn't surprised by how short I lasted and then I tried again and it became longer and then became pretty long. The next day, it was long and boring so I got bored of looking at porno and the same videos I fantasize about. It's like I don't need it anymore now and see how it goes. I know that I'm packing good stuff and am really confident but it's going to be some work to be good because in my fantasy the lady was doing most of the work and she's probably going to be too tired if it's going to be like a daily thing. First of all, I need to get lucky with finding her and she should be hot enough while being a nice person.
Okay, I think I'll be back to my three to four week trend of slowly craving porno again, but I think what triggered me was from feeling inadequate about my love performance even though I don't have a lady love yet. I'm being stupid and it's like always in the back of my mind and then the feelings of reward from looking at it is like stress relieving momentarily, just that it became boring again. I honestly don't know if I'm going to keep up a consistent love-life with the hot girl I'm lucky enough to find in marriage. Hopefully, the real thing will be so much better than watching a video and trying to practice boring techniques while feeling excited temporarily!
For a current offering, I'm friends with a close girl who is attractive and she likes me. I can tell and she calls me up and talks to me and even asks to do things together. It's just that connection I feel that she feels with me. It's just that I think she's asexual right now, so I'm just treating her like my buddy. She's been getting extra comfortable with me and sounded a little moody via text when I teased her with implication that we are just friends. I'm going to keep it that way for now- I'm not looking to be in a dating relationship with an asexual even though she's pretty hot to be honest and packed on a little weight. I'm going to try to play my cards by hitting the gym, doing online sites, and going to events that have some hot ladies signed up to go and then just try to get to know some of them. I would rather be friends then end up in some divorce, so I want to play this game right. I'm a lot older now and ready to settle with a good woman who can offer a lot of the things I fantasize about and even enjoys doing them.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
