Planning Steps

I think if I write about it enough then it's going to eventually stick with me and I'm going to get it down. I believe my personality is really this genuine that I can self-motivate myself if I engage in something that's visual for me. In a way, I have realized all this time after writing while being in an angry mood sometimes about the past, I still want to be friends with those jerks! I can't hold a grudge but I can stay mad about how morally incompetent they are being and become a jerk to them as well. Eventually, it's about being their friend after I get them to figuratively go crying to their mommy or big brother. Well, those pompous idiots at that church feel sad about the events that happened to me now and I did get away with doing crazy things and scaring the heck out of some of them that they moved on from that church, which isn't too bad. I'll still be friends with those scared people. See how easy it is to let it go when you are the one who is laughing about it and from also realizing what the truth is now?

Actually I heard those fools laughing really hard and like partying from sneaking up and listening at their doorsteps like a stalker one time. I then heard the voice of the lady who likes me and then ran away. I was too shy to face her and so I don't like her in that fashion anymore even though I know she still likes me and is married to an irritating dude who doesn't mean to be that way. I don't think I'll be seeing him anytime soon at that church. I think his intention is to protect his own life from being afraid of me at this point and also from not wanting to deal any longer with the stupidity of the drama that he helped foster. I will still be his friend because hey, I get to have fun just being myself and I know it's enough to make him crack and then I can make fun of him some more and tell him to go get some professional help and say that he can't because he has to feed his kids and then start falling down and rolling all over with so much laughter. Being friends is also a great, defensive move after having been so mad and going crazy while being a very smart and callous person at the same time from being bitter about what they did.