Playing online poker legally, I have this correlation from just feeling something and realizing it. Man that one girl was actually pretty hot back then. I should have made a move on her, but another girl was like just get her e-mail out in the open. Man, those church girls trying to block my moves. Oh well, it happens and it's funny and I realize that hot girl just wanted to be my friend. I was really interested in exploring her field so I guess it was going to be like that in the end anyway. Just friends, but I think that other girl was just being weird with me and wanted it to maybe develop into something over time possibly. I don't know and I don't care now. It's all in the past and behind me.
From playing poker strategically, it's like wasting away chips while trying to play for a pot with a starting hand that you are interested in. It's like fishing for a good start and all about making the right preparations. It's like going around and studying things to invest one's time into for gaining profit and then just losing time if it turns out to be not encouraging to continue for profit. It's all about the practice of making preparations and doing it right over time. It's like continuously making mistakes while chasing after ladies and not getting any success out of it, but one day it just happens naturally. It's like the moment arrives where you meet someone who you are actually interested in after all this time. It's happened to me too late a few times because I didn't realize back then, but now I know another single girl who I'm interested in dating without really any concerns to begin with. It's like I found my pocket aces.
Next it comes down to playing the field and competing for the pot. In this case, I will be playing all of these intricate moves to try to get her to be my girlfriend or someone I can just go around dating for fun and pretty consistently. Actually, I think back then the girl I went on a blind date with wasn't so bad, but she was just too busy for me and plain looking for my appearances so I wasn't interested. She said it was a date so maybe she was my prospect back then and it was a set up from my parents. I wasn't into it and it didn't work out even though I wasn't too bad with holding a conversation and maybe in the end, if she was interested in having intimacy, then I don't know where it would have gone from there except trying to tie the knot if I developed feelings for her I guess.
With this playing the field, there's going to be competition and even if I have the best odds of winning the pot, it's life and something can come around on the next corner of the street to beat me to it. Maybe she could end up just wanting to stay friends instead of dating me, so that's going to be a blow. Or maybe, she might not be the person I expected her to be because I have heard something questionable about her past already from a friend. From what I have noticed, I can play it to my favorable odds or catch up to get ahead as long as I can keep it alive.
I'm still alive with my game of never finding any prison time and being locked up at a mental institution. I say all this with a big laugh underneath me and I will put in 110% to never let that happen by strictly following all the rules. I didn't have any experience with what's it like having a restraining order from someone previously but I did learn to sense boundaries, signs, and how to dissociate my anger from the situation. I also didn't let it get the best of me nor take away my chances of long term employment. It's pretty impressive over all in the end with what I was able to accomplish even with it on me for a few years.
If I ever concede because I have to from life like maybe the girl I'm interested in ends up falling in love with someone else or dies from a tragedy and hopefully never, I've been still gaining experience on how to fish for finding my preferable mate- my pocket aces. The more times I find these starting hands and play them out with my best focus, the better my chances of winning in the end and eventually it just happens, duhhhh!
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
