I realize that watching NBA playoff games last night actually became a little boring and was not very satisfying for me. I prefer challenging myself by studying and going for building more self-confidence. To do this, I would like to make a lot of money, work out, and keep on trying to listen and remembering the Bible clearly. Socializing is another aspect I have added into my same old repertoire and that makes it more fun because I sometimes don't know what to expect from people and who I'm going to meet.
Looking at it, I'm just living for myself right now and trying to gain so much fulfilment and happiness. It's also very cool to be around nice company and do things with. I do have a heart for giving back to the world, and it's not going to be for the ones who put a bad taste in my mouth. I usually don't really agree with everything in general, so it's going to be hard for me to find the right group to endorse. Hopefully, they won't ever become scumbags!
I'm pretty glad to no longer feel any religious influence in particular with that old, dumb church I was a part of around ten years ago. I don't feel that sad about it anymore and actually happy with the prospect of moving on to do better things for myself. I have this strong desire to reach my personal goals, which in respect are the optimal choices.
Overall, I don't think entertainment will last forever because some movies and TV shows do suck every once in awhile. It's sort of like a love-and-hate type of deal and nothing that can be done about it. I want to stick to something that will keep on prolonging the joyful feelings underneath. My mom says that I have found my space from figuring out my passions and striving to live out my dreams. I wish I was lucky in that I found this out while I was a kid, but I guess I'm about ten years away now from reaching my mid-life and that's not going to be too far away for me realistically. The thing is I have something that I'm into doing and don't mind for the rest of my life. I don't think I'll have a bad mid-life crisis if I can marry a hot and loving lady, but if I never get to it, then it's something I'm going to have live with then.
It took a lot of effort to push myself into listening to my mind, body, and heart but I'm so glad that I did. To solving my ideally hardest problem, it's finding the right, attractive girl and it's really hard because I need more confidence and energy to keep on putting myself out there. I guess I can prepare and eat healthy meals and work out to increase my health , along with keeping up with the times to talk about interesting things with those ladies I feel physically attracted to in the moment. The right lady for me isn't going to be shallow, so it would mean that she doesn't care about being with a taller person or not and probably 90% of the ones I feel temporarily interested in are shallow. I'll just live with the confidence of surpassing them and doing a better job of living and maintaining myself while learning to be good at everything that's necessary or desired for me. Never know though, so I might as well ask them out or try to hang out and endure the grief from recharging my motivation to work hard and surpass them while also being the better person at the same time.
The fact is, I'm probably not shallow. If she gets old, then what happens to her looks? I don't care about it if she's my wife then and I will still live out my porno fantasies with her only! Yeah, I know it's pretty romantic. If an ugly lady impresses me for some reason and I see so much beauty and appreciate her beyond the moon and the stars which is a highly astronomical improbability, then I'm all hers. I don't think I'm shallow but marrying a hot and not so shallow lady will be the biggest reward with the highest risk for me and it's pretty motivating to want to marry her and enjoy those porno fantasies but with only the same wife all the time, so I guess let's keep it moving for me!
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
