Need To Push Myself

I have to admit that the way I'm living my life is pretty selfish right now. At the same time, I'm trying to find myself a girlfriend now. I honestly would like to get married and get in that mood for some lovemaking! I don't even know at this point how to go about it with finding a hot girl and figuring out she's really nice and interested in doing the same with me.

For the most part, I could go after increasing my confidence by getting higher education and making a little more money. Along with that, I could also look to improve in all aspects of my life starting with time management. I think I need to be good all-around and detailed at everything as possible to still be pretty attractive to the ladies. There are a few things some guys are just born with and from their appearances it might help sway a good woman's heart. Those ladies are pretty shallow and I'm not really interested in them anyway. Guys who are into looks are pretty shallow too. I guess for me, I'm not really going to base all my decisions off the appearances of ladies I'm attracted to. I would rather get to know a single lady and find her beautiful and then become attracted, but that's just based on my preferences. Finding the right partner for me to marry is such a big deal and if she's not there, then I'm just not going to get married then. I have come to accept it, but I will keep on looking while looking to patch up my personal flaws I come to discover.

Last weekend, I ended up watching basketball and baseball to relax after I did my morning run. I just stayed home and felt like I was wasting my life away and that I should go about my business but I didn't get to it really. I just sat there and let my mind wander off while I watched some entertaining basketball games! I wrote last time that I felt that NBA games were boring, but last few days have been exciting because they were all-or-nothing elimination games. Even though my team wasn't playing, they still put on an entertaining show.

I have a love-and-hate relationship with watching television and playing poker. It's also spending a lot of time when it could be used for something else besides just relaxing. I mean it sucks to be struggling all the time and that's how I'm feeling sometimes but it's better to put my mind into succeeding because it could mean making more money in the end.

I honestly believe some girls can be shallow and some girls can be attracted to guys with a lot of money. I still want to find a nice and hot lady to marry, so I'm going to have to deal with those bad types of women out there and keep on pushing myself forward. I'm not really going to be using my money to show off with the women. I would rather conduct myself with being the all-around better person than the shallow ones who are out there.