I'm realizing that I'm lucky because what makes me happy is working hard for something that I'm interested in and being successful at it. I have managed to put up good grades whenever I did put in a lot of effort with my classes, and I was one of the top students. I had a tendency to get lazy though when I stayed too long at the top and then someone else comes along to top me and then I end up becoming like number two, which sucked a lot for me! It's still not bad though to be among the top five of the whole school, but to stay at the top, it requires so much discipline and as a kid, I lacked a lot of it because I wanted to play a lot more than study. Still, I consider myself lucky because I had the drive to study enough and be able to become recognized for it by my peers.
In a way, being born with the drive and passion to succeed is luck. It means being perseverant and dealing with all of that excess malarkey that can drag any normal soul down to the grave. I'm just realizing it at this age now, and from being annoyed at trying to teach an old lady yesterday how to do basic things on the computer and even programming her remote controls from just following the instruction manual, she later told me that if she was twenty-five years old again, she would marry me! I take that as a really nice compliment and I said thanks.
I don't know too many people that closely but I think I'm at an enviable position and even though I'm short, I don't think I'm really seen upon as that unattractive. What I've realized from helping the old lady out yesterday with her social media, it really doesn't matter to get unfriended and friended by people on there. I was so sensitive and had some frustrations over it, but underneath all of that annoyance and fury, I just wrote something that isn't really that bad while I was blowing up underneath. I think I was too shy to mention what I was so bothered about with the people I was confronting, but they were annoyed with those messages and ended up blocking my messages. People are so mean, petty, and selfish when they put themselves in a bad mood. It's hard to control negative emotions and I have been around a lady who has a mental illness and she is like it all the time!
I have learned how to fight those jerks with negativity issues and I can harass them enough while getting away with it if I want to now for laughs. The worst they can do is go crying and put a court order on me to stay away, which I have no problems doing because I really have better things to do and don't mind listing them for the court to hear and be like I told you so later to those unworthy opponents. I think they were just going through a hard time and acting out really bad because of it and was too lazy to try to figure me out. I can be nice with those fools and want to be that way in the end, so it's not hard for me to put aside any personal grudges forever. I'm a fully-converted Christian these days even though I'm having a hard time understanding the Bible and can't listen to it that well while driving to work everyday. It's the only thing I'm really listening to when I'm on my own downtime with driving. I fully believe 100% that God's love even works on all the people I think are stupid and annoying!
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
