Letting Myself Be Inspired

I feel much happier these days from knowing what I'm looking for in life and learning to come to terms with people who struggled with me in the past. Back then, it didn't cross my mind that they were having a hard time with me because I thought they were just being jerks and constantly testing my angry emotions. It took me long enough, so I'm just happy to have finally realized it. I can go back to being the great person I was in the past and patch up what's left in all of our friendships. We never officially did break it off with each other and just let a funny rift get between us. Okay, it's really one-sided here; I'm the better person from having figured it all out and having always taken the better road than them while unwillingly having watched them suffer because of me. In a way, I'm just so glad to know now they aren't better people than me!

I'm trying to make a run these days with making myself financially rich on my own and I have chosen swing trading to be my unique vehicle for it. On the side, I'm trying to expand on my software engineering and developing skills to also effective project management skills so I can eventually try my hands at making a future popular video game or app. I'm just looking for a one-hit wonder that will hand me passive income- that's what all my dreams of working is about. It's just that I find it exciting to be into these things.

I'm going to have to keep on looking for girls I'm interested in dating so I'm going to have keep on trying and hopefully something good will come up again for me. I just wasn't ready for it back then but I did have a few good opportunities. I could have had like four or five ex-girlfriends by now if I really compromised and went for it back then. I could have also lost my virginity too if I wanted but I didn't want it to be some random fat girl who admitted to weighing over 200 pounds and was so into me! Yuck! She kept on saying she wanted to be my girlfriend and started being annoying not being able to keep up with me like on the second date. I don't know, I wasn't comfortable with it!

I mainly have Cambodian lady friends now and they are all interested with me getting a girlfriend. I think some of the girls who have shown some sort of interest with me are like not around though and I like them too. It's like I could end up just wanting to be only friends with them and maybe they would want something better out of the relationship if I ended up choosing them. Maybe they aren't that open-minded about it with me right now because I could just show myself to not be ready for it yet. I might have to keep hanging in there to find the right girl with the mindset I'm looking for and I'm sure she's out there and very attractive too.