Yesterday I talked about how I had trouble overcoming my sleepiness issues by knocking out on my chair in my room. I managed to overcome this a little by watching something that excited me and I finally managed to take a shower because I literally had to! Well, it's been like almost two months already and I was really in the mood for looking at porno for something and man, it disappointed me again! I think I really need to find a good partner who I'm in love with and looking to marry and wants to do it with me a lot!
Okay, so it felt like all those sexy body shapes with girls are nice and all, but it feels empty without the love and substance of really knowing the lady. If she's some image on the Internet, there's no fun in it. If I see her in person and don't even approach her, what's the point of even following her around like a stalker and waste so much time when that could go into spending time with finding someone else who happens to like you? I don't really get it but there must be something not working in the head sometimes. I have my fair share of people accusing me of being crazy because they were just flat out mad while doing something to them, but I was able to hold my peace and overcome them.
A lot of this is really getting to know yourself, so I learned that abstaining from trying to simulate making babies with watching porno doesn't really increase any output even after spending time away from it. It's almost like the same amount regardless. It's just that it doesn't feel right without a loving and understanding wife to enjoy doing the deed with several times a week maybe.
I'm a guy so I'm naturally aware of what's trying to turn me on, but it's different from considering if she's actually the right person for me. From left to right, beautiful women just exist and I'm happy to be single and not feel guilty right now. There's plenty of brain power and morality I'm using here to go out and meet this sexy and right gal for me.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
