I'm realizing that I don't really need to look at porno anymore. It's been mainly for entertainment of staying turned on whenever I've been curious about how my naïve parts work. I still feel that way to this day because I haven't been with any woman. I've been somewhat a student of it from reading up on some naughty material. I'm also very prudish and won't ever be cool doing it with just any lady which is pretty atypical for guys I think. I'm not definitely without any interest and totally want to experience it someday with a special woman after I marry her. I don't know the exact label to give myself except that I think I'm very different to most Christian guys and also worldly guys. I think I'll really be in the mood for it a lot if the wife ends up enjoying it a lot and hopefully, I'll meet her someday to go on very fun dates.
In the meantime, I just want to make myself financially successful and also go hit the gym to look sexier for building tons of confidence. There are plenty of cool ladies out there which I can't deny, so becoming a less shallow person has been challenging and so far, I'm just weighing the lady's personality type and life-style choices. I really might be open to dating this one lady I'm friends with someday. I think if I end up falling in love and bonding well with a lady then it's not really going to matter so much with the physical attraction I usually obsess about in ladies and just be like in the mood for it often.
