I've been feeling more accepting these days of my situation and not really sulking anymore underneath selfishly about things not going my way. I think everybody has their own way of dealing with some impossible obsessions. For me, I just couldn't let it go because of my stubbornness. I had some weird ideas of how life is run, but hey it was my own opinion.
These days, I don't think it really matters too much. I do have a friend who calls me up and sees me like family. She sees me like a big brother or says she does while acting another way. Basically, she really isn't the physically affectionate type. She deals with social anxiety issues and other stress-related drama from her lifestyle choices and being born with an incurable disease. I still like her a good deal for who she is and try to go out of my way to just help her whenever she asks me, even if it's not that comfortable to me.
I'm actually comfortable about maintaining a close relationship with her, and I think the only significant opening I've seen with her is bonding together while cooking and watching movies together. We have even traveled together while being just the two of us, so she's used to being around me and treating me like another sibling while traveling. Those trips are pretty challenging in that they can get a little irritating with not much meaningful words being exchanged. It's sort of like pushing myself to make something good happen out of it, but I'm struggling underneath!
Basically, to form a deeper and romantic relationship with her, it would just mean continuing to do things with her. I guess I could look at it from the point of being like we're currently friends with a thing for each other somehow but not trying to give into each other. She's been interested in trying to set me up with one of her friends who is a pretty and single mom and feels she would be more compatible for me. I'm really not sure about that because I am a short man even though I don't look that way entirely. Anyway, this friend of mine is one of my possible love interests. It's still fun just to have someone who I care about a lot interested in hanging out with me.
