Aww gee, my mouse fell over and I was about to post something really serious and mellow with myself. I feel really turned off in trying to write the same material over again.
There's a lot of time to myself and whatever I wrote it really helped me find what I was looking for with myself. I guess I'm really comfortable with my own self now and am capable of being totally honest about the situation in a pretty neat way of expressing myself.
Some of the pretty crazy individuals over at that church, Hope Church of LA, asked me if I had bipolar and kept on pressuring me to get some pyschological help. It used to irritate me a lot but now I'm feeling much better about laughing to it and would not mind just talking to the point that it bothers them. It's because I know how to express it in a mild manner where they can't really say anything back and have to listen to what I'm saying and do stuff for me. That feels good to write that and be absolutely honest because I think I've become pretty adept at this socializing stuff even though I'm a pretty short guy. I am trying to increase my height to look a little more average and be a little taller than the girls who I'm sort of attracted to. Maybe it's not really the height that I'm attracted to, maybe it's more about trying to be fair in my associations with the knowledge that I've obtained. They say that knowledge is power. Maybe, height does not really mean you are more knowledgable. They also say that ignorance is bliss and that's where you could get a little uncomfortable and start expressing funny things. My vision of marrying some girl whose tall and being in a front of a minister whose like two feet taller me than sort of sucks. Having a tall Asian friend as a best man also feels a little uncomfortable for me. I think I'll try to grow taller and I did read a comment online somewhere that this one guy hates being 5' 1" and can't grow another inch. Of course I'm taller than 5' 1". I've seen some nice personals where this one short girl lists herself as about 4' 9" and wants to marry a 5' 1" individual- that's really nice of her and you would think a lot of women are attracted to tall men for the status that could supposedly be attached to it. My mom also stated that a man could be handsome and beautiful but dumb as a brick and unappealing with manners by being unfaithful. I would feel a little jealous about the handsome guy getting all the girls but then again, I don't think that side really matters that much on the long run and could lead the man to ruins if he continues to never settle down. There's really not much fun in doing that and something funny in a bad way.
