Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Repressing Emotions and then Concentrating

My mom tells me to not show my inner emotions with anyone from being a guy. I actually understand that I focus a whole lot better when I repress my emotions. I really enjoy trying to repress funny stuff out of my system and then just focusing at my work. In fact, I try to think of funny stuff all the time to entertain myself.

There was this slightly weird but decently looking girl I hung out with at Disneyland. Man, that day was so boring, but yeah, she was the one who ended up deleting me as a friend on Facebook. I think I made her mad because she was having trouble dealing with something that was making her feel uncomfortable and sort of was directed at me. I basically wrote some weird comments to her, which I really wouldn't even try going there with a girl I truly liked. I think it made her feel a little under-appreciated, and I did communicate how we were both not really linked well together. I think she also might have felt a negative influence from some outside force that I can't control, too while factoring in all of this. So probably, she decided to take the added step and move on to do her thing with guys who would really appeal to her and to just drop me from her personal life.

It's kind of messed up what she did, and I'm really mad at myself for noticing this. I didn't do anything wrong to her really. I guess with the next group of girls I meet, I'm going to try my best to treat them right and be a little more sensitive with my actions. I basically can't force someone to not be bothered by me after they did something negative to me. It's just not common sense. It's also unlawful and looked down upon to harass someone in any way, shape, or form. I'm noticing this, so I'm basically just apologizing the whole time for my bad actions. I'm pretty much noticing all this now and just apologizing for being very angry at them and just informing them that I deal with these anger issues by just communicating with them. I'm really trying to not start scolding them while being irate because it makes me feel really bad, afterwards. I would like to really resolve a lot of this personal anger with myself and just have all the proper motives to get to where I need to be.