Pretty Interesting Stuff

Before I start off this blog post this morning, my condolences go out to a friend who lost a loved one through a tragic affair. Another good friend who I was worried about losing touch with ended up reconciling with his wife and had a baby daughter together. I'm so blessed that possibly God really can hear my prayers. I remember praying for a woman who I really liked and attends Hope of God Church and is now married to Chris Kuch who also attends there. The reason why I bring up names mainly is because I'm letting the world know who they are; they seem to have issues of not being able to handle some situations about themselves, and they ended up handling themselves really bad around me and tried to walk all over my life's decisions.

Finishing up my short digression, the woman who I really liked is an honest and trustworthy person and I'm glad she finally settled down because I wasn't so sure about asking her out for something serious. I would have never minded just hanging out with her and just being there for her as a friend whenever she needed me. That's pretty much how I liked her, it was unconditional to me in the end and still is today! God heard some of my prayers I made for her, and it was really aligned with what I desired for her to obtain and they came to be.  If you haven't tried praying for someone, then get to know Jesus first; it's just a start and a suggestion because I don't know, maybe your soul is on the line before you cross from this world to the other side?  I'm confident that I'm in true hope that's for the best in my prayers even if I never decide to fully commit to a weird church like Hope of God again and only pray for certain individuals there to be heavily used by God.

Some people who acted bad with me are pretty much just a lost cause and those people brought me the most useful pains for me to deal with; I've already mentioned who these people are on this blog and stated my reasons and I have so much convincing evidence that I could even convince the most stubborn of my closest friends. I have stated some of these evidence too on my previous posts, and I don't really want to keep reiterating unless it's necessary for me to revisit it for something useful to recount.

I can in a continuous motion support my own digressions now, which is pretty cool! I'm not afraid of being nervous anymore which is a phobia in itself that sucks. I have a confidence and comfort zone in dealing with awkwardness which makes my mom like not argue with me over incidents; I just continue to get that loving support I need from expressing my full desires confidently. I guess I was born to lead and get a girlfriend now.

Formulating A Plan

I don't have any problems with the morning in doing some things that I set out myself to do, but at night I'm just about ready to be beat. I think before I get really sleepy and not in the mood for doing anything because that's how I seem to always end up at night, I should pretty much take care of it before I get really sleepy or at least have a little will-power to set my personal time aside and get it accomplished.

Once In A Lifetime

The dream of having financial independence is a step closer than everyone can realize, except if you were born an idiot, sorry. I just woke up to find that I'm in pretty good hands with this whole Forex Market because the profits actually do get nailed if you perfect it with skill. It's just that again, at least 95% of novice traders lose their accounts with it. I'm pretty much looking up so much information and practicing this market right now. Again, this type of investment is not for everybody, but I know I picked the right one for myself. I actually saw profit coming in for myself here in the long run. This is really what dreams could be made of now.

I played poker this morning and lost with pocket AA to pocket 2's which really bites and I went all-in with my microscopic account- $5. Man, that really nailed me. I can't really handle the pressure of gambling like that anymore just to make enough to live comfortably; it's just so humbling for me in a way which is a good thing because you're competing with others who want the same prize as you do. I guess bad beats pretty much weed out the bad apples of poker, so I humbly accept defeat with it because I can't seem to avoid bad beats even though I want to so badly. I need to be less greedy and a more humble player with a lot of patience; that's the key for me there and to gain more experience with it. That's why some call it a world class lay-down when you fold a super good hand against a better one.  I get worn out with poker so easily but yet it's fun to win against people and get some prize money out of it so that's why I play it, and it does require fun elements that are skill and luck put together.

I have been walking around to get exercise near my home, which is around a lot of beautiful hiking trails. I really enjoy the scenery that it offers and is quite relaxing with some mildly challenging climbs. Today, I hiked for two and a half hours I think. It's really lowering my weight down so it's exciting to see it decline on the weight scale and fairly rapidly as well.

I'm also trying growth techniques; I don't know if they really work but it doesn't make me feel like bawling over nothing, so doing some exercises to try to grow taller is making me feel more confident anyway. I'm also going to put on some hair loss prevention stuff because my dad is bald so I'm showing signs of it already. My sister has implied that I would look cute with a shaved head and that girl who placed a restraining order thought I looked cute with a slightly shaved head too. My mom called me a bald-headed baby with that look which got me a little upset and influenced me not to really shave it again. I keep telling my mom that I will try it someday when I have bulging muscles coming out of my body, and my mom said it wouldn't matter then so I guess I'll try it if I'm not going to do anything about my hair loss. I'm going to do something about it because I still want to keep my hair. I have some Rogaine so I'll be using it for now, while I wait for my funds to grow from trading my account.

Thoughts On Trending Market

I've been analyzing the Forex market for some time now, and when many writers claim that at least 95% of traders lose their accounts they are not lying. I have googled some honest posts from traders, and they have stated that some automated software they trusted in blew their account! From looking at my own trading post which is just a trading software platform called MetaTrader 4, I am realizing there are trends in the market and that it seems to following in a pattern. If I could ride this trend then there could be a lot of profit that would rise out of it. I have acquired a lot of free information in some loophole sense because I don't really have all the money in the world to acquire it with some convenience fees. I'm starting to not really want to trust in these robots unless they have a long term credibility attached to them. I'm also finding there are a sufficient amount of traders who are willing to share their experiences and to help along others to the road of glory, which is pretty nice of them.

I'm starting to think of these calculations mathematically now. By developing or finding some indicators (fancy tools) to help sort out the good and bad trades, I get an edge with winning more often than losing. It means that I have to do my own homework and that there's no need to engage in sufficiently risky investments like gambling at a casino. There is a useful thing called the stop loss which pretty much closes a trade when it hits an undesired mark. By keeping the stop loss low, it keeps you in the game and then when you hit a trend you will profit. If the majority of the time you make winning trades by hitting trends and avoid big losses, then the math adds up to making a very profitable career! This field is obviously not for everybody, but it can be mathematically done with determination, discipline, and skill. I'm actually liking it because it's cool looking at charts and numbers flying up and down to make money.

Adjusting Daily Routine

What can I relate to myself with- ah yes, news about the economy. It's like there are some events that happen daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly, or even once in a lifetime that makes you a million dollars. I think what I do to myself as a person is not that important because if I look at it with the broad perspective of everybody versus me, then there's no contest so I'm not even going to go any further with that joke I made. Haha.

I don't know if it's against a few people who act like kids versus me, then that might be a different story because just using intelligence can take that match a long ways to personal victory over and over again in one continuous loop. I like programming my computer with loops by the way because it helps me out and lets me relax with other things. That's just the incident that won't be able to prolong itself with me now with that whole girl liking me thing and then putting a restraining order on me and then church people acting like numb skulls with me. It's a lot of fun to describe nowadays for me on this blog. I'm not really going to make it a daily routine to bust out jokes about people who were just being plain bad with me in general. I don't care if the people around them really laugh about anything now and would encourage it as well. So yeah, the church is Hope of God Church over at California so go ahead and google for it. Just call to see if they pick up for services, which they probably won't because they are busy doing their own thing still and are a really small church.

Okay, so I'm waking up and working on automating some currency trades with a demo account and still learning this craft of making highly successful trades so that I can create a really live account and then do some damage to the market- yeah right, even a million dollar profit won't take down the Foreign Exchange market; they are worth 3 trillion dollars on the day alone! Don't believe me? Look it up on Wikipedia- here's the link: Foreign Exchange Market. There are several ways to go about it in creating automated trades which I'm still learning about, and I might get into programming my system and then see if it becomes so useful that I could help out others with it. It's a risky business like opening up your business with a lot of already made competition working against you so everybody can't do it because it requires some discipline and prowess. Anyway, lots of people lose in this business- in fact about 95% do. Still interested? I am because I have a passion with this whole creating automated profit syndrome. I don't mind being up days and weeks and months and so on to figure that out because once I get it even when I'm a 100 years old then I can happy to have something I figured out make money with me just laughing away at how funny my account is growing.

Funny Stuff

I guess it really doesn't matter what happened to me that much. I feel really good about laughing at Golf, Chai, Betty, Annie, Chris, Jar(r)ed, and Darunee "Lee" in a good sense now. The church is located off 710 Fwy in California. Just google for Hope of God Church; hopefully the listing will still be there if they couldn't pay off the debt that the pastor owes to the government for using that place as a facility. It's not really that conveniently located for everybody to come because the parking lot is pretty small and it's around a lot of other what they may call "worldly" distractions. Haha. I don't mind if the church as a whole at that place laugh about anything now. They were a pretty messed up bunch at the time and acted like little kids who didn't know how to grow up at that time. It was so funny that they actually acted really bad with me now, with me having done nothing. They alleged I did some things that they were doing to me; no wonder why they felt it was bad because when they did those things to me, they were so horrible at it.

My close friend who wants a girlfriend right now pretty badly told me that possibly the girl who placed a restraining order would want to slap me if I go near that place again, and she happens to be around.  She showed signs of liking me because she didn't want me to chase after Betty. I was trying to express that I wasn't too serious about it and in a nice way. I had these weird feelings for a weird person, Annie. She like shuts herself off on one of those days, and it's like what did I do when I wasn't even there. I honestly believe that she was going through some abnormal depression with the stresses of life; I heard from someone that she's worried about her wedding financially- I'd say screw it just make it affordable, it's the thought and the heart you put into it that counts. She was also sad about leaving the state or country- I say well you're with the person you love for the rest of your life; that is more important to you, so don't worry your friends will be in contact with you. Technically, I heard the restraining order was recanted and hopefully, they realized their mistakes by now. By the way, it's really funny remembering all the mistakes they made with me now and talking about it.

I think Betty was okay with me; I seriously hung out with her and she was pretty funny with some of the things she told me. She is also a pretty bright person who seems to have an aptitude of getting confused more often and expressing it to the people she truly loves. She's genuine and I would say that if it was the case of me being forced to marry her, I wouldn't mind at all. I would know how to support her and be the man in her life. Haha. I'm glad I didn't do anything to induce a shot gun wedding because I would probably be in a mob for something like that with my little sister. Getting some lit torches in the name of my sister and chasing the guy who abandoned her would be a fun vacation while running around the world. I might hook him up with some auto-income and preach him the good news to help him out a little though and see if he would be willing to change his heart in accepting his full desires and living them out with my little sister.

Recapping With Social Things

I find it pretty crazy to be very blunt about the things that happened around me; it takes guts to be able to let it out sometimes and holding it in like a coward is only going to bring you down as if you're already defeated. My problems are actually quite cool to talk or write about because it's an unique experience that a large number of people don't really associate with but at the same time can encourage someone to be built up in a positive way. I guess from having a blog, I'm able to work on communicating very efficiently with myself- even if this means at the expense of others from having been really honest in the way I came across with them. This means that I'm going to write things the way I see things physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to express myself truly. This could be very bad for people who were going through a hard time because I might see the area where they were being selfish and reveal the parts of interaction I had with them to prove my points. I'm going to save myself from digressing into additional banter for today and leave that off for possibly tomorrow or another day for sure. I have something in my head forming to share and write about in this blog.

Finding Work

Work is not really easy and even running your own business with it, is pretty tough as well in the beginning. I think it's all about hard work and enjoying what you are doing to get to the later stages of success. A problem that I think a significant number of people face is wearing out or feeling empty inside with some job.

I felt this way quite a bit with some of the jobs that I did; I was amazed by how some coworkers knew how to cope with it. I guess in general you can't succeed in a job that you don't like. I remember destroying a business' reputation once by throwing phone books around the neighborhood; that was so funny and not the usual way a person should conduct himself to get paid. I took delivering phone books around Beverly Hills as a one-time job and saw some really beautiful homes there from left to right. A regular neighborhood had all these beautiful settings and was so upscale. What I really thought about doing was renting a caravan and loading up all those phone books and then delivering it. Man, it was a lot harder than I thought because you had to navigate all around these cities and then when you went into the business; they would turn you down in getting a phone book. It was so pressuring and tough. I also had a dumb friend as a partner, who turned out to be an idiot because he didn't know how to navigate and tell which streets to go to; man, I really wish I had a better and more willing business consultants and that the pay was better. I accept my former partner as having been born a dummy because sometimes with the chances life gives you, you still decide to be impulsive and selfish to the point of wanting to lead others and yourself nowhere. I think if I had the right people, then I would have still made little money and be like spending for gas money anyway, so it's just breaking even pretty much. I really wonder how shallow the people there could be, and I would seriously want to think twice about settling down there for the sake of the kids. In a way, Beverly Hills seems like a boring place to live or work at despite the rich community. I would want to think Palos Verdes or Newport Beach honestly. I'll see where I end up and hope that I get set to enter a marriage, which is embarrassing to me to mention on this blog.

Snapping Out Of It

I think life in itself is about snapping out of things- in most cases, it's like the very best achievers need years of practice and experience before coming to realize their potential. For myself, I believe that I could just consistently read up on things that I want to learn more about and then eventually by practicing it, I'll snap out of this bad funk of not getting it. Life in a nutshell is already made for everybody; it's just the clear narrow path that a person needs to decide if it's for him or her. For me, that's where Jesus comes into play.

Just figuring things out at this day and age is finally getting me to not really worry about too many things anymore. I believe that every once in awhile, a person needs to just sit back and laugh about the shortcomings that occurred for him and her and just deal with the scorch that just wants to ignite you into doing some things. I believe that the important thing is for the person to come to realization and then to get himself on the right path again.

Process I'm Going Through

Pretty much, I had to return a product because it didn't really perform to the level of expectation I wanted. Right now is pretty early in the morning and because I get to set my own working hours, I'm going to go outside and work out. It feels good to walk in the morning and work out and then take a shower afterward.

I'm also going to read a little more on the subject of something like gambling. It's pretty interesting that some professional gamblers rely on their skills more than luck to make a living. I'm just bored so I picked up some books at a library. I'm surprised that a public city library would actually have those types of books for your reading pleasure.

Right now I'm on my third week of consistent exercise to make myself grow taller, no results! Oh well, I'm just going to keep on exercising with growing taller. Or at least, I'll practice it and if my future kids want to grow up to be tall then I'll have something fun to share with them and do at a park, while drinking milk every morning with them- like a trivial ritual. I also acquired this growth spray that smells like pure protein and artificial testosterone- you just spray it on some sensitive locations that growth inhabits at- like your knees. I've been inconsistent with using the spray; because I haven't had any side effects might as well finish that spray bottle now. I've even ingested it and still didn't get sick. They called it an "herbal supplement" which I thought meant you are supposed to spray it in your mouth, but the instructions said to spray it over those sensitive areas, so I wasted a good portion of the bottle trying to eat it every night.

I'm also going to make it a habit to finish the Bible every year and get out of feeling guilty with my sins by repenting to the Lord. Why not? I feel ashamed to look at the mirror sometimes after knowing something dumb and morally conflicting that I did. I don't feel bad about the church people who acted like little kids with me anymore; they were really in a dimension of dementia. I can see why they need to blame someone for their problems of wanting to make the church bigger.

Treating Business Like A Science

I seriously have decided to pursue this direction of analyzing market trades and then trying to be successful with cashing in on it. I have an idea in my head which is to treat this business like a science class in that I am going to do a lot of experimentation. I will probably keep a journal and be logging successful trades or answering some questions to behaviors that I've been aching to know to keep it on record.

The only thing that I'm really giving that's valuable is my time into this market. I'm thinking of just acquiring systems that have a 30-day back guarantee and just putting it to use right away on a demo account or willfully risking a small amount of funds, depending on what the developer's requirements are for getting back a refund. I'm pretty much going to analyze a bunch of tools, pick the ones that work the best for me, and then keep on updating it until I'm happy about where the business is leading to. It's going to be a lot of experimenting with trial and error and getting really hands-down dirty to figure out where the profits are at. It's going to also take a lot of patience to develop in. I'm personally going to be about results while working diligently at it, so hopefully that will carry over and bring me to a point where I could just keep on making residual income.

What It Takes To Set Up A Business

Yeah, at the moment, this blog is pretty much ghetto to me. Oh well, I'm just still using it to give myself some accountability and reference and something I could go back to look on. Since everything is not really going into the details of interfering with someone's life, I guess I don't have the ability to even invade my own life so that being said, there's not much to put on here except what I wanted to put on here.

Based on my experiences, there are a few things to keep in mind and these are just tips for myself that I'm going to be testing later so don't always take my word for it:

1. Make sure the business is something you could comfortably handle and have a passion to master. Don't just close your eyes and then pull out a blind topic from a drawing.

2. Do your best to leave out personal distractions, like spacing fun time and work time apart and not really trying to intertwine it to the point that fun takes over and your business loses by going bankrupt, end of story. I'm starting to think that a stupid is, a stupid does, so that means some people are crazy and if I let them influence me then I'm a nutty idiot. I'd rather be a nutty genius than an idiot, so both men and women can be crazy sometimes; oh well. I made the mistake, called myself an idiot, repented, and so will hope for the same will upon others who did those foolish things like I did.

3. When you are looking to purchase tools to help the trade you are getting into, make sure there's a return policy and to be able to handle the procedure of what you have to do return to it in case the tool didn't work out for you. Get the tool to working right away because shredding out tools that don't work will save some expenses of having to acquire more fitting ones later down the road.

4. Make sure you can afford losing the starting capital that is going to generate profit. More often than not, it seems like struggling businesses take loans that are too hot to handle and then the business goes "belly up" as one of my friends say.

Have To Try Harder

Yeah, it's pretty hard to not try any harder right now. I'm just really pumped up to do the best that I can right now. I pretty much started a business now and I need to show for it by not really being that lazy right now. I'm pretty young, undisciplined, and pretty much all-out gutsy about spending on things that I might not never get around to trying. I pretty much have to train my weak mind right now to be able to handle a bigger load of consistency with hard work.

I guess my mind gets really caught up with playing video games right now, and I need to lessen that activity right now so that I could work on enjoying some financial freedom before I go on living again. It looks like it really doesn't matter how much money you start with in a business, as long as you can consistently generate a steady flow of cash. For example, if you had just $20 and created a lemonade stand and then people started buying from you left and right then yeah, you'll make some profit. It's about consistency of profit, so the starting capital doesn't really matter. It looks like it's a misnomer to a lot of uneducated people who start up businesses.

Ultimately, how much you start off with doesn't matter. I heard about a trader who kept on trading for items that were more valuable, so in a way he found a way to market himself to generous people and ended up trading a pretty useful item that was cheaper than what he got in return. He eventually traded some valuable items and sold it for a million dollars! Another story I think I heard was some guy who put $10 on the internet to host some advertising website and now it's worth millions of dollars! It's about making an idea work and also you have to get some entertainment value out of it; otherwise, you won't be able to keep up with the pack.

I'm going to seriously not let my weak mind wander off to much anymore because I feel like I need to generate money. I have this gullible quality that could stumble on something that only sucks your money away from you; just having good faith in something and not getting money in return is just not a good investment especially if you're just going to sit around and try to praise the product to yourself. I guess that's good if you're rich, but not if you're poor and need money.

Improving To Better Situations

I'm currently not married or anything, so getting into a blessed one would be pretty cool I suppose. I have desires that get tempted pretty daily, and it seems like I could make myself get satisfied completely if I were to wait on the Lord. My life is just surrounded right now by a lot of motivation to complete something very fulfilling.

I feel so comfortable around nice people and don't mind helping them out; it's not really them who could bring me ultimate peace. Instead, I personally seek refuge with God and try to daily uphold living a balanced one with God's Word being a part of my heart. I sort of have some useless hobbies right now; maybe, those things are taking too much of my time and that I should focus what needs to be done before taking pleasure in my hobbies when the time permits them. I can still get sick of my hobbies because it's easy for me to feel like I need to get something done and feel a lot of ailment until I get them done.

It takes patience and a big heart to prolong something that a person is working on. It takes courage and self-motivation and to relieve oneself of a lot of doubt and to be honest about a situation. It takes understanding and wisdom to grow out of a situation and also occasionally my favorite, creativity when something has to be thrown into the waste bucket. It never hurts to have fun at the same time too; it's pretty important.

Committing and Disciplining Self

I'm writing today about an area that I could really work on myself. During these next couple days that lead to the ending of this year, I might actually start discussing about my needs to stay focused on a practical thing in my life and stick to it now, while limiting doing some things that I like for the purpose of fulfilling more things that I'm interested for myself.  I realize that publishing my honest thoughts on this blog has helped me a lot through understanding my trials and getting reacquainted with the good stuff in life.

I don't really feel like I'm lacking somewhere internally anymore; maybe, it's because I could classify myself as a young grown up- at least I'm still younger than some women who act a little too immature for their age. Taking a few moments out of my life to analyze where I'm at and deciding what to go after is giving me so much closure. I believe that God also has a big part in a role of shaping who I am; I am pretty much one of those believers who became amazed and stunned by the incredible work Jesus had done for me and that I wished to be made new again and to rejoice in my state that I will someday be with the Lord in heaven. Fortunately for my soul, the Bible doesn't really mind a little healthy competition and to be more progressive technologically in a way that becomes more fitting for the world. I'm starting to feel really hearty about things that I want to accomplish and going after them.

Today Is A Brand New Day

Today is a good day! I feel good! I look good! I smell good! I'm going to make money, money, money! Haha. Those are just lines that I'm copying and putting on this post. They actually take a lot longer to chant to your self personally. It's just funny to do that as a motto, which I thought was unique.

What I feel I'm lacking right now is a routine with a great purpose. It feels good to be living with a fulfilling dream. Honestly, the Bible seems to scare some people from living out in search of its true meaning. They seem to go with the flow of differing opinions, and what worries me a little is the people who seem to think the Bible is based off of fake things coming from a not so reputable group- the Jews, not being racist here, but God of the Old Testament did find the Jews to be His people while they were a small and oppressed group.

I remember a movie that talked about how the Koran was very enriching with its allusions and interesting take on life while the world banned religion. However, the Koran seems to encourage violence to get an extraordinary means accomplished which I'm sure is shunned by Muslims who claim to be good people. A verse in the Koran talks about getting rid of the infidels who might want to exercise freedom of speech over personal matters- it's like some of the third world countries that look to Islam are still being people in that they look to any justifiable means to hold violent protests. I don't really think the Koran really solves anything as it tries to justify the condition of man and serves to prolong a tradition. 

Feeling Bittersweet

I am still mourning over the passing of my grandma. I thought I wouldn't get too personal on this blog, but looks like I really have now because my honesty is not really getting me in trouble. By me being very honest, I think I can also enjoy some good humor without feeling self-tortured and entertaining just about anybody and hopefully influencing people to be better and more well.

At my grandma's funeral, I had the special privilege of making a eulogy in front of a lot of people. I can't still resist making any zingers against the Hope of God Church, L.A. so here goes: there were more people at that funeral than the whole church combined at that Hope of God location and a whole lot more. I'm pretty delighted to find that my family and relatives might outnumber that church group; we're one big family tree put together living in the United States. I really miss my grandma still and I wish I had the chance to say goodbye to her and that I really loved her. My grandpa is staying over at my home and I'm lifting him up occasionally to put him on a wheelchair and also trying to cheer him up. I had the chance to quickly kiss my grandpa's forehead which felt good and lively for me. I can't do that to him anymore right now because I might risk giving him a more bad cold. I'm going to tell my grandpa that I love him before he goes and hopefully he can come to terms with his maker.

Overall, I'm surrounded by a lot of beautiful people so that gets me thinking in a funny manner, love isn't all about sex. Being in love and in the moment with your soul mate is just about as good as it gets in enjoying intimate Eros. Hopefully, the commitment is made at a wedding before couples become intimate.

Just Trying

It's getting pretty difficult nowadays, but I'm trying very hard so I'm probably going to be up with some more sleepless nights for awhile until I can break away cleanly with my life. That's pretty much all I have to say for now. I'm keeping myself busy right now because I really need a solution out of financial issues for myself. It would be nice to reach that financial independence, and it's going to take a lot of work for myself.

Running Errands

I've been basically learning to trade foreign currency and have had fun picking up on it. I'm pretty much going to let that be my main goal right now in setting up this business.

Today, I pretty much need to take care of car registration stuff. After that I'm not really going to be so worried about driving my car and risking a speeding ticket from a loose cop and then getting penned with more fines for not doing those things. I'm pretty much going to give it all this month and start writing on a personal trading journal, so I can learn more. I'm seriously going to start little and see where I go from there now.

Very Interesting Concept

I was like up early talking on the mirror and pretending I was talking to a woman whose older than me, Betty Lam (the one at Hope of God Church, L.A.) Betty is a pretty common name and sort of a cute name to me. Okay, so it appears that I was chasing after her the whole time just that I was faking it. Unfortunately, it's a little hard for me to try to commit with her because I feel some disparities with her culture that she was brought up in and that she literally is a little aggressive and overpowering woman who gets frustrated when you mess around with her and try to be nice at the same time.

Honestly, I would choose her still over all the other women as my best choice if I was forced to pick someone at that church I'm mentioning. I know she can sometimes be crazy and act weird but there is a pretty genuine feeling about her. Jumping to a point, I honestly feel another woman at that church is my type- Judy P. Chan; just that I've grown to love her as a big sister and that she's taken to a slightly foolish older guy I am tempted to despise but going to have to just get things personally straight with him and force that issue upon him competitively to the point he's being submissive with me- I'm so good at doing that.

The real meat that I wanted to cover was my own reflection of a woman placing a stupid restraining order on a younger and shorter guy. I'm honestly trying to make myself taller still so I can feel great about myself and going to take yoga for the sake of stretching my bones and adding more calcium on it which I hear is possible- the human body is capable of some crazy things such as lengthening itself from being forced. Don't believe me? I personally do from some funny testimonies I looked up and going to give it a shot by using the art of science. Go ahead and be skeptical; I don't really care because my motivation is internal. I'll let the whole world know if the growing potential really exists for any old age.

I think a woman like Darunee Lee Wong(-stapadat, LOL) places a restraining order on a man when she's obviously being crazy- just making a pun. Okay, the real truth is when she feels a man is over-obsessed about her OR not giving her enough affection and attention and wants to block a relationship from forming. The case for me is dealing with the later; it only makes sense after putting together all the itsy bitsy details. Darunee really liked me pursuing after her one day at that church ground when I needed to keep asking her for something unrelated to growing a relationship with her. When she said to bother someone else about it, I noticed her willing submission upon me. She told me she didn't have anything against me, so why put a personal restraining order on me? She also said that she loved me in a surprisingly flirtatious tone that jokingly scared me, and it happened to come out from her spontaneously. She was frustrated and being short-tempered about an incident that didn't relate me with her- she wanted me to not chase after Betty. Darunee came up to me and told me not to talk to Betty; it makes so much sense that she actually liked me. I was blind because I was feeling that I'm too short to be in a relationship- I just wanted that selfish feeling of being tall before thinking about being a relationship. Ideal true love doesn't care about physicality.  It all makes sense now, and it's like Darunee might have a hard time moving on with this thing because I keep on bringing it up to find some revelation about women.

Overall, I was just concerned about people dropping from their Facebook list and I felt competitively mocked when the dummy told me that I was overshadowing others. It's good to have social behavior- sometimes you're a little over-the-top but it's a good thing to express your love for people in a healthy manner whether it's personally belonging to you or not. All the venting these people do when they're under stress while sounding all angry and agitated is so funny to me now- they really are relying on the person and sharing their deepest resentments and need a moment to cool down and want to let it go through being honest. It's a relatively mean activity, but what can you do? You're supposed to listen and pray for them when that moment comes. On the long run, FACEBOOK LIST DROPPING means absolutely nothing and that's where the fun begins with me being gregarious about it and doing it to others and influencing them to be forced into trying to convince me to unblock me as a joke. It's so fun, and it means absolutely nothing on my end. They messed up psychologically and made a mistake with their God but for me, I was never in any serious dew-dew. Praise God that I found some serious understanding and can communicate it nicely now.

Starting All Over Again

Honestly, it's going to be really hard to forget a lot of things that have happened with my life already. Some of these memories were and others well, very bad. I would like to forget about the bad things that happened, but I've forced myself to accept them as adversity and to learn from them even if it pains me day and night. It took me awhile to relive a lot of moments and then to take a new and more refreshed spin on life. I'm a pretty good psychologist with myself; I keep it honest and also I'm very subjectively honest as well too so maybe there's not much of a trouble maker underneath going on as others around are subject to doing. They get me laughing a lot more these days, and I'm feeling a little mellowed out.

I tend to not give in to people that I make up my mind with, so I can be very strong at also changing another person's desires with me. In a way, I can manipulate dumber people because I possess it but I just care not to really use it, so when they got all over me at one point complaining about something stupid, I just let it be and didn't try to do my best to get out of it. I was just worn out from doing the same thing again because I would have used my full anger as a weapon and get what I wanted but this anger was something I didn't want to live with anymore in my life.

I realize that the anger that was a part of me is actually my competitive emotions. I'm a highly competitive person to the point that I could joke around with people and get them to oblige with whatever I want from them. I never really needed to yell at people in the first place; it's because those people accepted me for who I was even while I had those moments of yelling. I am a very smart debater and can even use childish acts to get what I need- peace and quiet; especially when I yell in person with someone- they won't ever reply back after I'm through with them. I could then ask them all these questions without them ever saying a word back with them; it's pretty interesting way to dumbfound someone, while ignoring them and doing this with everyone in my way that others observing don't even want to get involved with me because of what I could do to them and if I really wanted to make fun of them then they are forced into laughing with me.Yeah, that's how mean and cruel I could be but at the same time, I have moments of being nice with the person which adds in so much confusion to the person. It's the ultimate way of messing around safely and eventually getting what I want. It's like I would be impatient and that's how the person would want to get his or her revenge by making me wait; that was like the only way of agreement with them that I had. I still used every resource and found the best tactics and said the craziest or funniest or nicest things that got the person not thinking about me ever, but still went along with me. I realize this stupid power that I have now, so I'm ready to be a leader for the right causes if I'm ever needed now. 

Exciting Opportunity

I think it's important to jump the wagon and to be comfortable about learning some things while minimizing loss of capital when it comes to running a business in the beginning. I plan on becoming a financial trader and am going to utilize some techniques; I have nothing to lose because all the knowledge that I have obtained has been free so far; I will only inquire more charges if I decide to pursue further into some techniques. For the time being, I am going to now try real money because I am comfortable following directions and risking a little money. I'm basically going to like put less than 1% of my starting capital to each trade and literally put together all the techniques and keep on adding them and analyzing those trades by putting them into a journal now. I want to become very serious with increasing my portfolio. I really like this whole managing my own hours and having a market to invest in by myself because it gives me some favorable time to work out, like a typical full time job does not really afford for me. I'm basically going to play it safe and look for very highly profitable and probable trades now.

If I end up doing well in these trades, I'm going to treat my friends out because I've learned to pick up the tab for friends from my dad. I'm also going to have fun donating to victims, but their situation is not fun- no pun intended. I will basically acquire a lot of high tech stuff with the funds as well because I'm pretty big on being a technologist; I'm a pretty crazy programmer in that I can do it for twelve hours a day if not distracted like no money and finding better things like loving my wife and kids. I'm going to increase my I.T. resume by acquiring all these stupid Microsoft and Cisco certifications that would make anyone look good because of the expert status you get. I will also get an education to become a doctor that a willing child could learn if he wanted to, only that he will have to wait to get his license to do surgery. I want to be pretty health conscience so why not learn material that doctors know and be able to be one when the situation calls for it. I will have a lot of responsibility, but then again I could joke with people I don't like that I won''t help them but in the end I do it anyways because it's the doctor's creed to help even mortal enemies even if the doctor is going to get bombed in the end.

Enjoying Adversity

I'm really starting to like challenges and having fun getting through them now. This means dealing with anything that gets in my way and seeing as a challenge. I realize that I've always had fun getting out of them, like anyone would and just that it got a little stale getting out of it all the time for me. It's the saying that you sometimes get tired of having too much of something. I've felt so much success over getting out of adversity that it gets stale after awhile, so I became highly inactive.

I'm back refreshed and way more wiser than I've ever been. My emotions are like so strong that it can't really be swayed anymore. Honestly, I may have thought television wrestling was fun for awhile, but it's starting to get sort of boring to watch now because it's not that real as I thought it was. It's a lot of charades and very funny to laugh at times and looks cool but I can't get so caught up over it anymore like some people can. I'm going to a very practical area where I'll be so rich that having a lot of money for me won't even sound funny to me anymore and I'll be with financial independence and with a greater sense of moral responsibility. It's like I don't feel daunted anymore with expensive items but I'm still not going to purchase them like an idiot would and waste money for no real reason. Maybe I'll acquire a beach house, decent car that gets good mileage, a motorcycle, a boat, a motor home, and buy stuff to work on as a hobby and get up to date about stuff going on in this world and having a first class Bible education. I'm honestly the type who has a conscience so doing bad stuff is not my cup of tea. I would rather call people who think they are my friends and start doing bad things with others or me idiots and being upfront and honest with them and start laughing, rather then becoming that person.  

Honestly, I don't mind treating out a person when he or she least expects it and asking nothing back in return. It feels good. I'm not God or anything higher like that but I see that the loving God in the Bible would have reason to be exceedingly joyful about giving or feeling hurt by us at times.

Ready To Dive In

Hey, if I don't do something with my life right now then I'm pretty much wasting it away. I should start being very diligent and smart about this now. I really need to dedicate myself now to really becoming serious in this whole business I want to set up now. I'm planning on doing this whole making money thing with the internet and going serious with it now.

There's risk in everything I'm doing right now for a business, but it's something that I'm willing to take responsibility for and I'm not just about to be some speculator, which means that you're just entering stocks out of the blue and putting a lot of money on the line and risk losing it all. There's a smart way to do it while eliminating a lot of risk and making it very highly probable. This is what I have learning and now I am ready to go more aggressive with it now and start trading with a live account. I can afford to lose some money trying to set up a business that I am feeling very passionate about now and not feeling ashamed of, like the time I tried to sell kid's clothes and an air purifier. Yeah, those things weren't really my cup of tea. I'm going after mastering the Foreign Exchange market, where banks play with billions of dollars and belong to a market that's worth over 3 trillion dollars daily.

Maybe if this business goes all well, I'll have time to do other things I want to try.

Found Something That I Like Doing

I guess I'm the type who likes to sit at the computer and make a living out of it while doing something complex with the computer and feel like I'm doing something very exciting and cool and being a part of this world. That's the feeling that I get now when it comes to dealing with reading stocks to invest on. I feel like I'm being part of a world that's ever changing, so becoming a trader seems like a great road for me to put all my effort on.

I also have a lot of side entreaties that I want to be engaged in, so being a trader is going to help fund those side projects for me and give me the option to also give to needy people out there, which would make me feel good after working hard with studying stocks or playing with the big boys. So starting up my own business and going at it is something that I dream of doing now and I think it's becoming more of a reality.

Hey, if I fail then I'll pretty much be a bitter truck driver who doesn't smoke, drink, or curse at bad drivers for awhile before trying to seek after my dream job. I hope I never go that road where I tell everybody I'm a failure while driving a freight truck around the country. Man, that life would be so boring but it would seriously be something I would do to pay off all the business debt I accumulate if I become a failure and need more money.

Business Plan / Developing Confidence

I honestly would like to be 6 feet tall, so I'm going to drink more milk right now. I know it's too late, so I'm just joking about being too short. I guess brain battles might be more useful for me to develop in, instead of the typical brute force. Actually size really doesn't matter when it comes to brute force too, so this is all baloney to mention height is really good for anything. If you perfect the art of martial arts then you could just use like two fingers to do joint manipulation, and it doesn't matter how small you are. Athletic women who are smaller than me and weigh less than 100 pounds can drive golf balls over 300 yards so, size really doesn't matter. It just looks good, that's all. Being tall looks physically good on someone- that's all. I don't have it, so I have to develop a bigger heart. I haven't really checked my height, but for being a male, man I'm short. Being short can't make you dodge a restraining order either because I was hoping my appearance would get this crazy girl to not put a restraining order on me. I was trying to still be a short kid and hoping that image would get the crazy girl to not put a restraining order on me; oh well, it happened and now I was forced to mature into an adult who has overcome feelings of not being dependent with crazy people.

Because of my shortness, I have a long torso because my chest length is just a tad over the national length which would include Caucasians. I am Korean/American which has a pretty good ethnic following and some cultural respect by other worlds. Being a small country and winning Olympic metals and keeping an ongoing cold war from breaking out by developing tough marines known historically as a Rock sort of gives Koreans some nice leverage. Even if I look Japanese, I still get some leverage too by revealing my proud ethnicity, so I guess those things factored in don't really bother a crazy girl from putting a restraining order on me. Man, I wasn't even chasing after her! I feel so cheated with this restraining order because I didn't even want her as a girlfriend and did absolutely nothing bad to her. She was just being a crazy person.

I think she has some confidence issues because she is taller than me by like 2 inches I think. She seems to feel we're similar in height or that's the feeling I've got from a male and close friend whose about 5 to 6 inches taller than me- he told me that I don't look that short and can be pretty similar in relation to height with him. So this whole being short thing must be just my own imagination because it sure didn't keep me from getting a restraining order by that crazy girl I wasn't even trying to chase around.  

I should not put my mind too much on dumb things right now. I should not really pry into the life of others as well and just focus on developing this relationship with Jesus, which is actually fulfilling my life with satisfaction. 

Toughening Up

Despite the feelings of any limitations I may have, I'm seeing that motivating myself on a journey to the Promised Land is quite endearing for myself personally. I'm totally finding that my struggles with lust is actually a spiritual attack for me. I wish to no longer engage in sexual behavior that's outside of marriage because I find that making the commitment first and proceeding afterward the wedding ceremony can bring a lot of stability, peace, and passionate romance. I wish to be just one of those guys who make a stand daily for entering marriage first before engaging in brash intimate affairs, out of moral responsibility. It only makes sense and can protect you emotionally to save it. If it's been lost, then there's no worries about coming to God for spiritual guidance and starting life all over as a new creature. It's a tough world out there, so it's important to guard what are the most valuable things to our hearts.   

Need To Give What I Can, When I Can

Right now, I want to play by gambling money with cards and also playing video games. I have to choose to not have such a risky life right now. I can't afford losing money on an inconsistent basis anymore. I want to be about setting up a business with consistent wins and requires hard working diligence and discipline to get to the top. I do have enough financial support for myself to last a whole year, maybe, so if I push it with something I like then maybe I could set up a business out of it.

I've already spent an average amount of money with figuring out what I want to invest in. With these hikes I've been making daily, I have been figuring out what I want to do with my life. It isn't easy trying to do it on your own, so I have to become stronger at recognizing what successful people are doing to stay on top. I prefer to stay the ordinary guy after a hard day's of work. Choosing what to make my business out of and making sure it fits my personality is a challenge for me right now. I need to ensure that if I'm going to do poorly then do it without losing any more money, so that means making simulations to practice winning procedures like I'm going back to school but this time with a purpose of actually using the knowledge I've obtained to generate profits.

Need To Have Better Discipline

I'm really not doing so well in this area of being able to discipline myself. I think the major things is that I want to block out any stressful feelings and I associate with disciplining myself as forcing things upon myself and that I don't want to. I then come to realization a little later and I don't really want to realize it later because then I'm already looking forward to trying it the next day. What I'm going to have to try is just giving it all I got, so that means when I can commit to something then I should do it at that time and then keep trying to gain a consistent effort at it.

Despite my desires not living up to the fullest potential that I would like it to right now, I need to keep trying and staying committed with my decisions and not being very wish washy about it.

Trying To Find Right Balance

I'm starting to realize a lot more nuances instead of just getting over it with some hyper activity that leaves you feeling dry and empty in the end. It's pretty much dealing with a lot of foolishness, and if we could enjoy just a moderation of it every once in awhile then it makes living life a little more worthwhile. I'm describing the art of having leisure in a little more deep manner, which I suppose would sound a little funny.

I feel that a person can accomplish just about anything he wants to set his mind to. This becomes an interesting point when bringing up the topic of competition among others. I personally realize that I could beat anyone at their own game if I have a score to settle with them and do it on a consistent basis.

Right now I have a score to settle with someone, and I'm going to see to it that I become better than him at anything he wants to project himself as being better than me at. It's going to be an eventual process so I'm not going to be in a hurry. I'm going to work hard and beat him at the things he bothers me about and do it all the time until he no longer wants to say conceited things dealing with me personally. I guess I can help him improve along the way so I make myself sharper too in those areas and find ways to surpass those improvements I make with him so it's going to be a lifelong rival where I always stay on top with him. He's pretty dumb mentally, physically, and spiritually so I should not really have that much trouble toppling him eventually to the point that maybe it might not even matter if I choose to go that route with him that I may forget about it and not even be bothered with him anymore. For the time being, it's on between him and me. I'm going to beat him in every way possible because he was just born to be a loser in my eyes.

Super Growth Methods- Who cares?

I guess I used to be a lame person because I wanted to grow taller than where I am right now. I didn't know how shorter men than me handled the pressure of feeling short. For awhile, I felt too much over not being tall enough to my own eyes. Now I feel that I've overcome it because it really doesn't matter to me anymore. A friend told me a philosophical viewpoint, "Why did men create ladders?" That's something to recall.

I even read somewhere that a woman did not want to date her future husband because he was so short. The man ended up making himself taller by applying techniques to stretch out his vertebrae. He then dated the same woman he thought was his soul mate. Years later, she admitted that she had some type of phobia with short people which implies that she got over it and that height really doesn't matter in the end. I guess if you want to make yourself taller you have to commit yourself and be lucky sometimes. I think it's a little bit of both for most people if they want to be taller.

Separating Myth From Facts

This post is going to take a very long time so I might just create a series of these long posts again if I remember too or just feel like continuing to do it. I believe that by writing on this blog that I have gained a knack for writing in transition with what I'm doing. I know how lame that could sound, like I remember this one blog that advertises itself as being the most lamest blog in the whole wide universe. It simply is and that's why it's so funny that I got a chance to surf onto the site and read up on some of its posts.

So using my knack for writing about myself in transition, I can make up stuff about myself. I went to the store; there was a robber, he brought out a gun and then slipped and the gun turned out to be an imitation gun but it made loud noises and he pointed it at me and kept on pulling the trigger. Ouch, the sound really hurt my ear. The robber turned out to be some guy who wanted to release some road rage and was high on steroids. He's serving some time at the state penitentiary; we made some peace with each other and he wants me to bail him out of jail and transfer to some nut house where they'll go more easier on him and he could avoid some very strong criminals who are homosexuals and attracted to him. Okay, I'm thinking about helping him because I think it's funny that someone pointed a fake gun at me and kept on pulling the trigger while making demands about robbing the store.

No I'm just kidding about the story. I'm just exaggerating with a bunch of fluff. I should start making stuff up more and see if it will become a dumb novel that people might want to mock later.

Business-mindset

Okay, so I'm starting to use my head a little more now in setting up what would be the best outlet for me in generating a profit center. It isn't easy. It's just from wanting to develop a skill and being very dedicated at it. Business should not really be about getting lucky the first time; it should have some skill involved and a background of hard work. To get started, I would have to know how to study the business I'm getting into.

By analyzing something I do, it becomes much more easier to understand the system. Because I'm participating in the activity, I'm actually practicing and hoping to get better at something. The one thing that I would hate is becoming really good while practicing it and then choking when it comes to becoming serious. I think that if I develop a clear-cut strategy and can be very steady and consistent then I can have enough confidence to learn how to master it by making bigger improvements, while still getting by. I want to learn how I could get by and then predictably keep on making profits. One thing that I really do not want to struggle in, is a fickle market as a career. I would like to be able to anticipate and predict profits.

So the morale of this short post is to not really gamble and practice at something you like doing to the point that you could make a living off of it. I want to call the shots so I'm starting from scratch and practicing how to become a trader by researching on it with books and looking at live charts to anticipate when a market becomes profitable. I get to also set my own hours and feel pretty fulfilled with this because it basically deals with money management as a whole. I get to learn from the comfort of my home and how to help out my parents.   

Good Weather

Today, being Labor's Day; the weather is really awesome and if you are just staying home to watch T.V. you might be missing out on the great outdoors. That is, if you live in the southern western coast of California. The weather is really nice today and is down from the usual 90s last week. The warmest part of the afternoon has peaked at about 75 which is pretty good to enjoy a nice game of volleyball or sit in the shade with some friends and family today at a regional park.

I'm really enjoying getting some fresh air because I live within walking distance to a park that features a hiking dirt trail which has some cool-down parts to it because of the natural trees and some furry animals inhabiting the area frequently. The area I live in has some nice hiking parts to it, and I'm a little surprised not a lot of families want to leave their comfortable homes temporarily to walk the trails that are all around this residential community.

Business wise, I'm taking steps to learn smart business tips right now and practicing with demo money to see how much profit I would be making. I have done normal so far and would like to become consistent at it before I hit the real thing. It's probably going to take another 6 months or less for me to perfect the discipline of trading. Once I reach a good living, I'm going to treat out a lot of friends and pay my way to a top-notch doctor's education! 

Trying To Live Life To Fullest

Finding my life with having a good niche for myself has been a lot easier than I could imagine for me. When I see prices with having to acquire things, it doesn't seem to bother me anymore. I really don't understand why acquiring material things in excess will also bring happiness, but other than trying to get a little expensive things sometimes can be quite fun.

So my life is pretty much moving in the direction of setting up a good business without having to shoot the moon for it. It gets really hard to refrain from playing and making money by shooting the moon for me. I pretty much hope that I get rich fast and that I don't become a boring person while going at it. I'll be able to afford a little more things and be more comfortable with lot more time, if I could become wealthy so for me getting to that direction does not seem so bad for me anymore.

For now, I have a lot of free time and can't really do anything without making a healthy living so I should be focusing on that now and hopefully consistent hard work will bring me there. The one thing that I feel about hard work is that I'm actually enjoying it, so I might as well stick to it now and see if I can reap a lot by studying to gain more knowledge without putting in any more money. I might be just surfing the web or going to the library to get more books to read to see if I can gain any more insight on the business I want to do.

When I get worn out with trying to set up a business right now, I would like to read some fun books to foster better reading for myself now and work on some computer projects to sharpen my skills and mind. I would also like to interact with people, but I think I have this thing nailed now so there's no worries for me about it.

Understanding Circumstances

Despite the pain and suffering and wanting to feel like crying over not feeling content, I feel these things and yet, still strive to make myself better. I've been finding a lot of serenity these days by coming to worship God at a well-established church; I wish to repent daily of my self-control issues and will find that I'm in the mood for now disciplining myself and becoming a hard worker once again while being smart about the actions I decide to undertake.

The reason why I placed myself in debt, yes, (DEBT!) is because I failed to take some initiatives and think through things very wisely. My credit report will show that I'm very honest and that I have paid my bills sufficiently on time and that I'm pretty much bailed out right now so that I don't have to worry about my credit rating dropping at a massive rate. I have a lot of courage even though I feel massively weakened by something and when I get to this state of mind where I'm indifferent then I could become a highly dangerous player in any field.

So being in debt is very embarrassing for me, that's what the picture of the monkey represents for me; other than finding some weird photos on Google images. I realize the ones that I wanted to invest my money in are a business, but they are more interested in thriving and won't really care about your success because that's the nature of the business. I see the big picture because I want to be about setting up my own business now. It's easy for people to complain in words and bring down any organization which means power to the people. The products that I thought about are actually really things that could make sense in selling to society and could be legitimatized just that it's very difficult to get to the success track. More often than not, these businesses thrive in making money and that's pretty much not worrying about people's success in most cases. It only makes logical sense to make this conclusion because profit is what drives a business. I learned this in my economic class and it's so awesome to have the privilege of taking it twice with the same teacher for better reinforcement.

The businesses I chose to invest in are pretty much advertising, selling, auditing, and education for a grand total of about 35,000 dollars which when inflated to cover long term loans that just add interest and suck amounts to 49,000 dollars. It honestly ticks me off a little that a not so smart and corrupted individual tries to make fun of me and won't stop annoying me about it. It's forcing me to come to terms with myself and deal with the situation and get out of it without him being of any use to me. It forces me to man up for myself and literally inflict verbal pain back at him which makes me laugh. He just freezes a lot when I say stuff back after he says something. I even sarcastically agree with him which even gets around to me making fun of him again.

In addition to this indirect debt that I have bypassed and can still get by for now and fortunately I don't owe the government a dime for anything right now, I have to deal with my car payments still! It sucks a whole lot to still pay monthly and I just want to get over it now. I'm about half way done with car payments and I should do something about it.

I have noticed a blessing which is that some very pretty young women around my age don't really care about a man's appearance and that they are only looking for compatibility as mentioned by me peeking into their online profiles. I'm not really so sure about establishing a relationship online when I prefer the traditional courting method but it gives me a lot more confidence that someone is out there for me and that I shouldn't resort to dirty convoluted sexual exploits with myself anymore and repent of these dirty desires now. If the highly attractive woman is happy with me in the near future and someone tries to say in private that I look insufficient in any area but the woman remains genuinely happy with me even after the someone talks to the woman about my inefficiencies then I have pretty much met my soul mate and can be happy about having a great companionship and pretty much can think the someone is a weirdo for even making those kind of comments behind my back.

Wrote A Funny Poem

I recall now that no matter what I do, I'm always going to lose people on Facebook but it's been growing somehow to an average amount of friends. According to this research summary I looked up, it said that the average friend count on Facebook is 200 people and that if you go way overboard then you may be a little crazy which is pretty funny. It's fun chatting with them and I'm not pointing out names who are no longer a Facebook buddy and I think are crazy.

I wrote a funny poem about these girls at this church which criticized their behavior and classified it as making them automatically ugly. I believe that they have had some failures with pursuing boys and that maybe one of the girls I mentioned about could be a little desperate about getting married to escape into another world where she could be happy and accompanied by somebody as a companion. Well, it was very funny to me and highly refreshing that I wrote it. If that makes me automatically mean, then I also inspired some pity that came from a real sweet friend. I like sweet friends who are girls; they are so nice and lovely and so encouraging me to be a happy follower of Christ.

Nothing To Hide

The reason for this post is that I don't want to hold anything back about myself now. So if I'm being currently a slime ball for obviously no reason and I think people feel like calling me it then I might as well change. Why not? I'm seriously not really that worried about my life anymore; it's occasionally filled with boredom but that's about it and having this certain waiting period for me is getting me to really become more active now. I don't really need to watch some T.V. shows either anymore. I have myself ultimately which I'm starting to understand and best thing of all, a relationship with Christ.

Looks like I'm like an absent-minded programmer who comes to his senses all of a sudden and have tried to get to that state of mind by doing random stuff. I really want to still resist the urge to curse because it teaches me a lot more learning to stay stable under a lot of pressure. We do only have one life to live and any moment could be our last day, so giving it my all with every moment that I have is what I want to do. I don't really want to bring up other people on this blog anymore, no matter what I feel about it and in most cases, bad. I had to because I was not understanding them and wanted to bring it to my attention through writing because it was helping me organize my thoughts better.

I'm always going to have temporary feelings of being annoyed at somebody in my life, so for me, learning to not let it get out of hand and still be a friendly to the person is something that I sort of developed from wanting to not be bored with myself all the time. I seriously am pretty talented at adapting into the person I want to be with any setting and no matter how big or small or unimportant or important the people are, and it also does not matter if they want to be weirdos later after trying to act normal. I know that some people have a hard time with this more than I could imagine so I deal with them accordingly and am ready to lambaste them unfortunately. I think the main point for me is to develop a consistency and stick to it while being the greatest person on the planet, while being second to a man who already walked this planet - Christ.  

Better Than A Lot Of People

I feel like I'm better than a lot of people now. It's all about maintaining confidence with hard work and studying something you want to do. It requires having a huge tolerance for suffering in those times when you're going through a rut. With some people who have unexpectedly bothered me, I now fully feel that I'm better than them in every single way and that it doesn't matter if they want to sue me, tear me to pieces, send me to jail, kill me, etc. I am happy to acknowledge my faith in Jesus and that there's heaven waiting for me on the other side and that while I'm on Earth here, I'm going to contribute with charitable deeds and still help out those annoying folks when they are doing really poorly with their lives. Otherwise, I might just make jokes and keep laughing if they want to deny my help.

Yes, I do feel like I'm the better person overall now and know where some of these weak points are with people and where it lies with me. My weakness has submerged under a new layer of confidence for me. Today, I pretty much need to continue to study business which I'm eventually going to get my hands dirty with; do some cardio-exercise along with muscle workouts later and take care of my car registration stuff which needs to be renewed for me. I actually like this independent feeling and it's great! I am better than a lot of people who want to complain with me about something even if it is directed at me personally now. It may have put me in a bad mood a few times, but getting over it to still want to be charitable while hard working makes me feel that I'm better than those people who were unexpectedly complaining about something. I don't really care about being laughed at about some detail about me now too; whether they do it behind my back or not.

I understand that there are border-lines to every issue and that I will take advantage of these border-lines socially.

Fending Off Boredom With Discipline

I'm the type who doesn't like sitting around forever, so I have to literally get to doing something instead of just sitting there for hours and days because that will make me feel a burning sensation of depression and lack of fulfillment. I remember when Washington complained behind my back that when I wrote that I was feeling like burning buildings- he automatically complained that I was a terrorist and proceeded to place a restraining order on me. I used to feel really devastated and frustrated over not understanding what was making him tick, but then again the war on terror is over at Afghanistan and Iraq. The last I heard from Washington was that he served in the marines or army after resigning his job which he willfully did, but I feel that he was neglecting his position at the job and being more distracted psychologically over personal issues rather than taking a mature approach with himself. He was so dumb because he came up to me and talked to me after putting a restraining order on me. What a dummy! You don't talk to someone you put a restraining order on.

The girl who put a restraining order on me was forced to talk to me, and she showed signs of being flirtatious with me. Okay, a restraining order on someone means that you shouldn't really talk to them. So these restraining orders are like not the worst thing for me and if I go up and waste my time talking to people who removed me from their Facebook list which is so funny to me now for any reason that they want to convey- whether they say anything or not, I may feel a little ticked off but then again I have so much confidence in my drives now that I should just be myself and be honest at least to the fullest degree without being afraid of anything and just go to that direction and then just be like they are a waste of time if they want to force me out of there. I have a plan now so I have a choice here in adding more insult to their injuries through honesty or just continuing along. It doesn't matter what I do to them now and what they do is so insignificant, even if they were to apologize to me it would be so insignificant. They are very small and insignificant people with jobs that actually sort of suck in a not so cool location. They are just leading lives with ups and downs and no longer possess that special aroma that you find in super good people. It's just the way it is; things will never change.

How Business Is Going

I'm realizing that being patient and working on something could actually be a lot of fun. The anticipation that comes out of doing something and obtaining a nice outcome is very good reinforcement. I'm pretty used to feeling letdown with myself now, and I'm not letting that emotion really get the best of me anymore now.

I'm pretty much going back to my computer science roots and studying this cool Verizon platform called Android, which is used to develop apps on the latest smart phones. I'm learning to use the functions to code some game with a group of other programmers. I'm working on designing the back end technology which will be responsible for powering the software. I might actually get involved with every aspect of the game development. So it's just a hobby for me right now and it's something to keep my mind sharp and occupied on something.

I'm already feeling let down with the employers because they are only going to hire people with proven payroll experience because they want them to start at a productive state right away. I might as well just start my own business and gain experience that way now. I'm going to take a more bolder approach so that I don't have to worry about never being hired again and run my own I.T. business.

Going To Try Something Impossible

I'm going to try to forget about marrying an attractive woman around my age and whose just about smaller than me. I'm saying this while laughing because it's true that I do have these feelings of getting married. In other words, I'm going to try to not to worry about it anymore. I just want to live a very honest life now and put my trust in Jesus through the Word of God.

I don't really care if a person has a problem with me now because I'm going to get around to understanding her and still get along with her even if it's going to look a little forceful on my end. I'm not going to push her around or anything in the end. For me, I really lose my drive to have a grudge on someone by expressing myself in a confident, intelligent, and blunt manner. Most likely, it gets me thinking about how funny the person is with her motives to make me indirectly feel frustrated. It doesn't matter how stupid the person acts with me. I will get around to not caring about her annoyance anymore.

I'm pretty much becoming set because it's going to be a period where a person won't be able to do anything to me to make me jealous or feeling selfish about something now. For example, I don't worry about losing a job because of a jerk who wants to be on the last step of the ladder because I'm going to be a professional trader so that means if I do lose a conventional job, I don't have to worry because I have an innovative job and not care whose fault it is. Dude, if I can learn to respect silly people who place restraining orders on me then I think there's really nothing a person can do to get me from succeeding.

Well, I don't want to go out making someone so angry that he decides to kill me. I'd rather let that person laugh his way out of having any spitefulness with me. Celebrating in death because I wasn't the one to do it to myself? That's something to think about because I am a firm believer of heaven that the Bible describes.

So ultimately, the person who should matter the most is you because that's the way it should be. Yes, just that getting to know God fully is something that could also help you through your struggles in life like the girl Annie Tran over at Hope of God Church L.A. I have admitted to having regrets over fostering a physical attraction to her. That was some weird stuff that I went through, but yeah, I think I'm over it and I hear she's getting married. She did so much crying and got me feeling a little mad but now that I think about it, she might have had some unresolved things in her life that she wants to cope with by just crying about it with her honest expressions. There's nothing wrong over mourning with stuff and looks like we are just not compatible and that makes things really weird when you get those physical attraction feelings. I wasn't sure about it in the beginning but my thoughts sort of settled down. I would have done this anyway because it's my own natural thing to do wherever I'm at, so some of the silly people who thought it was great to force me to leave so that I would function better was far from the truth with getting to know me. I'm thinking about seriously going back to just foil their plans with anything bad by just being brutally honest with them. I'm not going to hold anything back and just be fully truthful which might really give them some shock and feelings of wanting to avoid doing something bad to me. I have a very normal life, so yeah, I'm all good for being super honest.

Guy Point A Gun At Me Image

Right now, I'm referring to someone who I was afraid of for a little bit because I kept on picturing him pointing a gun at me and wanting to shoot me because of my attempts to talk to him. This person is Jarred Taing of Hope of God Church L.A. He is going on vacation with a Christopher Kuch at the same church and possibly with Julio to somewhere in Big Bear soon. Big Bear during the summer? I guess Julio thought it was going to be really soon but looks like they may postpone it for the winter.

Getting back to this imagination of Jarred Taing pointing a gun at me, my fantasy is continuously ending with me smiling at him and walking up to him shooting a machine gun and bullets at me. I shield them like super man does, walk up closely to him, and then slap him and he falls down and stops shooting. Pretty interesting for Jarred right? No?

I Feel Bad For Them

I feel really sorry for them and it's sort of funny with me. I know waking early in the morning at this new home I'm residing in, which is a pretty nice upgrade compared from the last home I was in, I was hearing the alarm going off in a weird way. I really need call up the security company again and see what's up with the alarm. I'm also used to waking up early now because I want to study in the morning. Yeah, studying at 6:30 am and then going to sleep again when my brain gets tired is a pretty nice life.

I Have To Go Back

There really isn't any stake for me in going back and that I see it as them being a waste of time if they are going to the worst lengths like putting a restraining order on me because I'll put one back on them and let them know they are a waste of time to me. I feel like I will have a lot of satisfaction talking to them and being brutally honest with them, so whatever happens there's nothing really important going off and I'm letting go of any grudges that I'm feeling. I really don't care how some people see me anymore; I know that I want to work hard and donate money and continue to study God's Word.

I pretty much have to go back now to finish what they started and to spill out every honest comment with them. I'm pretty much going to sound really bad with them and looks like they might not be able to handle it and then want to put another restraining order on me. In this case, I'm going to let them know that I'll put a restraining order on them back because they are a waste of time. Anyone can put a restraining order on anybody they want to. Having full honesty and being upfront about it without holding anything back is pretty much my adopted procedure that's going to really be intentionally hurtful with them. In the beginning, they kept on hanging on to something they wanted to overshadow me with, and I couldn't get through to them. They are not going to see things pretty anyway because they want to be like the greatest critic with me and have a grudge with me, so I might as well be the most honest that I can be and act naturally from this honesty by letting them know. If it's super horrible which they are going to state then they are going to pretty much like have a run for their money because I'm going to make their lives miserable because they are not being able to let go of something. They stated they wanted to help me but went ballistic and couldn't handle themselves very well with me being around. Supposedly I heard that the half of them are in a relationship already, and I don't have any interest in pursuing after any one of them especially the boys. I told Julio that I would put my arms around the guys (Chris and Jarred) and let the beautiful little kids watch the spectacle. I also heard that they are going to Big Bear with Julio, which I'm really surprised to hear but I'm not feeling left out anymore and feeling this increasing amplitude of dissatisfaction with them that I just need to spill every honest word with them now.

I normally wouldn't do all that I'm stating because I didn't do it in the beginning, so this new method is going to sound very scary with them that they are not going to be able to anything now. Looks like in the end, I may actually gain everything and they will be losing something. Like if they go to a certain restaurant, I could always lead a group of friends to go where they are some other time, if I really like the place. If they go snowboarding, I could also go with another group of friends. If nobody would go and I want to go, I really have no problems with going by myself now. I don't really feel left out and this dissatisfaction I was feeling was not about that with them. It was because they started something that they couldn't finish and I was willing to change for them. Now, I'm going back to be fully honest to be with the greatest defense. The greatest defense is offense. They are going to get a full blast from me now and not be able to do anything; just watch and see because it will come someday for them. My friend asks me "What if there will be only like three of them left?" They are not going to be at full strength and when I approach the people who left if I see them at the church visiting once or twice, they may actually be shrugging their shoulders when they see me inflicting the others with honest and harsh words. If they don't and want to act ballistic by calling the cops, I will leave and do this honesty act multiple times and then if they put a restraining order on me, I'll put one back on them stating they are a waste of time. Before I do all this, I'm going to let them know this plan. This plan is going to inhibit them from doing anything to me and force them to think about how to treat others when a future bad time arises and that they are probably not going to see themselves as leaders in the period of time and just bystanders which makes things easier on everybody else, especially me.

Analysis of Resume

The definition of a resume is quite simply a summary of your academic and work experiences. Keeping that in mind, I conjured up from scratch a resume and cover letter but felt it was too valuable to throw out for myself. I realize that I can't find any desirable position with it and living on today's times so I will have to create it myself by taking on a whole new level of responsibility- becoming an entrepreneur. I feel like I need to prepare myself very heavily and also invest in an affordable adviser / mentor  who could help me get started.

What I learned through education is just commitment to succeed and to make longer strides at obtaining a purpose. I'm pretty much an average level intellect and think all it requires to succeed is to put in the time and right attitude to get there. If I succeed in this, I will definitely obtain something valuable for myself and have fun with some people who were acting a little off with me and failed to comprehend some things in life. I'm pretty much thinking like a grown up now, and I do realize that I do have a sense of humor that could turn the tables around for people who thought giving me a hard time was the right thing to do. I guess the reason why they acted silly was because they felt I could be a very successful person and really respected as well. 

Resume and Cover Letter From Scratch

CCIE and MCP Certifications

Computer Science Society (2 years)
Served as President and Vice President. Allocated budget plans successfully. Edited website on Unix Server using a FTP software.

DRMC Volunteer (1 year)
Assisted I.T. Department by organizing binders alphabetically. Assisted in Data Entry of volunteers.

Forex Trading (Ongoing)
Devoted to succeeding in the mastering of techniques to becoming a professional trader.

commission-based Sales
Sold Cutco products (1 month), new and used vehicles (1 month) with outdated Automotive Sales certificate, made secretive audit reports for some money, and experienced all-around poker player. Installing new computer hardware professionally. (1 day) Finished an online course of medical transcription with perfect score.

Apprenticeship Program (1 month)
Worked at a school assisting with installing network cables. Expressed interest in changing occupations and left program.

Q/A Tester (3 months)
Filed reports and discovered two major glitches.

Evangelism
Substantial knowledge of Christianity. Experience with door-to-door evangelism and student interactions.

Commercial Driving
Obtained permits to drive trucks and school buses.

Freight Forwarder (1 year)
Filed papers for U.S. Customs and released shipping holds while assisting to expedite shipments for companies. Attempted to avoid frustrations of other shippers, who had a tendency to be under a lot of stress.

A.A. in General Education and B.S. in Computer Science with heavy emphasis on math.


To the seeking employer,

Thank you for noticing this application as I may have already contacted you regarding the status of a job opening. My experience level is currently limited as I tried to find fulfillment in my limited positions and could not take off desirably. My interest is to be a hard working and deeply committed individual who can work through hardships and be an asset who would bring profit to an organization. My endeavors are to provide a good and honest impression of my maturing ability and to advance to the next stage of the application process.

Sincerely,
Earl

Plenty Of Opportunity Yet Unqualified

I'm so sad because I know I can whoop the competition but employers want to see that you were on a payroll for 5 years on a related job for the I.T. industry. When Joe the guy who got me fired from a construction job said that network engineering industry was saturated, that's a bunch of a baloney. There's plenty out there with good pay just that they want you to have several years of experience and that once you get your foot in the door, there's opportunity to get to the coveted 100 K salary after putting some years into it. The guy was so ignorant and I could just call him up and yell at him for all I care, but I don't want to because I'm happy with everything that I tried now. I see his life as a current mess, and I seriously would tell him if he thinks otherwise so I'm being fully blunt about it.

There's no point for me to go after my dream I.T. job unless I create my own business out of it because all those companies want you to have at least 5 years and want to start you in a productive state already. I'm happy for having put myself into some business-related debt for at least trying. I'm done by a year's pay and could get bailed out by doing truck driving, but that's something to think about when I get really desperate. Right now, I feel that I have another outlet which is becoming a professional trader which is pretty difficult but I do enjoy it so maybe that's going to my break away point from being unemployed now.

Acted Really Human

After all this time in dealing with some circumstance regarding two weird and botched civil restraining orders against me, I understand what they were about. It does not really affect me from any social standpoint, and I was just being really human about it at one point. There's still an opportunity to do well in any career that I would like to choose. It's all about hard work and giving it your all to get to the top.  My lawyer was definitely right when she spoke to the judge and stated that there was a misunderstanding. I totally agree and submitting to the civil restraining order with no defense against it is like slamming the girl who put it against me- like she's a waste of time and showing off that my family is rich and could afford legal issues that don't make any sense and wasting money on it.

I do have this haunch that it affects the people who put it on me more than it does with me personally. I totally believe that it's going to damage their reputation and overshadow them emotionally in a shameful way for the rest of their lives. The weird girl who put it on me was Darunee Lee Wongstapadat. Another guy who put it on me was Washington Chun. Supposedly one of of the best friends of Washington don't really collaborate with him as he told me even while enraged that I was the better man. I was just totally acting human and could not understand one bit of what was going on. I finally understand it completely from every standpoint and feel really good about it to the point that I don't even need to fully care about it in my life now. From now on, I know how to approach a situation where someone would want to put a civil restraining order on me. I joked around with some people who were thinking about putting a restraining order on me, and they never no longer have the will power to do it because they would rather not be the aggressor and look really foolish or controversial with the outside world and affect their personal visions with evangelizing others. I remember getting that hint of submission by Betty Lam of Hope of God Church L.A. on the phone when I called her up one day. She was totally confused and frustrated about something- like she was being left out. I did a good job with her and could be rewarded with a chance of dating her as just a friend if I want to in the near future.

Thinking About Ideal Things

Boy this is really hard to do. To really stay on course and do something that's very ideal for yourself. I really should start reflecting on ideal things all the time and then go after them for myself. I should avoid anything that comes second place for me now. It's just attitude and is going to take some time. There is a lot of fear involved in some things that I contemplate on. I pretty much need to still go after just ideal things right now.

With thinking about it right now, I want to just let go of those weird individuals at Hope Church of God L.A. Not everyone there is really weird or has like a fuse that could make them could end up being weird from snapping. I'm totally relying on the ideal situation for myself right now. I don't really want to go and I'm not afraid of showing up anymore, so I don't really care now. Those people are pretty much laughing stocks to me now. Whether they stay weird or not or basically improve their own situation which is probably not likely because of how they want to not change and consider themselves still the best, I choose to forgive them from about a thirty mile radius which is just driving distance from the home of the weird maiden who thought it was great to put a restraining order on me, Darunee Lee Wongstapdat. I forgot what her address is, but her cross-streets are Mission Blvd and San Gabriel Blvd. I actually drive on San Gabriel Blvd all the time to meet up with some friends who live on the big street. I've probably passed her house once or twice and I just don't care because she's too weird for me. I might just go to make her act weird again after the restraining order is off so that I can get some vengeance by putting my own restraining order on her. She thought that she was Annie and Betty combined and like attempted to absorb them into her own spirit and then fail to overshadow them in them putting a restraining order on me.

Oh man, I seriously had this weird attraction for Annie and now I feel very repulsed over having felt it. Go ahead and make fun of me for it. I can take it and admit that I did and that now I feel great that I never really chased after her for a relationship. I'm glad I did not even try to kiss her, and I was thinking about doing it as a joke to rattle Darunee when she forced me to go to court and Annie was with her. I was going to run away anyway then and be laughing all the way home. Oh man, no wonder I was really off and some of them were like asking me to get help at the same time. If I could have that day again, I would sit next to Darunee and hug her and then put my own restraining order on her while leaving the hearing and letting her speak to the judge and making her look like a dummy. I'm prepared mentally and humorously now to get my vengeance in a cool and unoffensive way.

Who Cares I'm Bad At Reading

I'm really bad at reading, and I just don't care. I could just open up a book and just skim through it and not care if I get nothing out of it now. I don't really care, my mind is just continuously wondering off into repetitive things, so I might as well get into the habit of reading very fast and being able to pick up a lot of stuff and being able to retain it. It's going to take some oh yeah, I know but I'm sure I could at least try in this area.

Need Money To Train

I have a good idea of what I want to use my money for. A lot of paid vacations, yeah that would be sweet. Having a nice big house and cool cars while I'm still young. And then paying for a nice gym membership, oh yeah. Going in need to build some muscle. Yeah, that would be fun.

I also want to go to school to learn more crafts to explore other careers that I've always wanted to try. If I have the money and if I don't like something, I don't have to worry about trying something that costs a little money. I could handle wasting a little money learning things that I never would have gotten my hands into. So I have a high incentive to succeed in monetary form.